believe in my existence

Inspo

Keito: Allow me to roughly summarize the results. Firstly, I, Keito Hasumi, have managed to score reasonably high in both Japanese and World History.

Keito: Kanzaki scored even higher than me in Japanese History, but his World History grade is abysmal.

Souma: Hehe. My parents have been instructing me in Japanese History since I was a child. I took a liking to it and often researched it out of interest.

Keito: Yes. Your diligence is commendable. However, I would like you to try a little harder in your studies of World History, if you can.

Souma: I am not too fond of World History due to all of the horizontal writing¹.

Keito: Your studies shouldn’t be at the mercy of your personal preferences. Well, more on that later, but for now…

Keito: The problem here is you, Kiryu.

Kuro: ……

Keito: Oi. I’m talking to you, don’t look somewhere else.

Keito: The lecture you’re going to get only increases in length for every second you spend looking away from me.

Kuro: But danna…

Keito: Don’t ‘but danna’ me. No excuses. I’m very disappointed in you.

Keito: Do you remember anything from when we studied to appear on a history related quiz show together? We studied so hard that the textbook was about to fall apart.²

Kuro: ……

Keito: But you’ve just forgotten everything you learned from then. Actually, because you studied so half-heartedly, you might have even gotten worse.

Keito: If I were to critique each and every one of your test answers, we’d be here all day, but allow me to read out a typical one of your unique answers just to give you a sense.

Keito: When I first saw it, I doubted my eyes, my sanity and even my glasses.

Souma: It is difficult to imagine Hasumi-dono ever doubting his glasses.

Keito: Don’t make light of the situation. See here, this is an elementary school level question. “Who was the second shogun of the Tokugawa Shogunate?”

Keito: Kiryu’s answer was ‘Ishida Mitsunari’.

Souma: How could that have come to occur…?

Keito: I think he may have gotten it mixed up in his head, since Ishida Mitsunari is often brought up alongside Tokugawa Ieyasu when discussing The Battle of Sekigahara.³

Keito: I’ve told him about the Tokugawa Shogunate.

Keito: How did their opponents magically overtake the government? It’s quite interesting to imagine what might have led to that outcome. I don’t mean this as a compliment, by the way.

Kuro: W-well, it’s not like I mentioned someone completely random, so I’d at least like to be appreciated for that much.

Keito: Yes. Admittedly, you tried.

Kuro: I did, right? I thought about it real hard before answerin’! I dunno why I’m bein’ forced to take a test like this in the first place!

Keito: About that, originally I was planning to properly announce this after seeing the test results—

Keito: But as you can tell, I hadn’t anticipated Kiryu’s brain being such a trainwreck.

Keito: Actually, the announcement was concerning sort of a large job offer for us, but now I’m debating whether to take it or not.

Souma: Were his answers truly that terrible?

Keito: Yes. In fact, some of them are so strange, I’m starting to wonder if he’s being dense on purpose.

Keito: Take this one, for instance. “Name the three people responsible for saving Edo from wartime, otherwise known as the ‘Sanfune of Edo’.” ⁴

Souma: This question was a little troublesome for me as well.

Souma: I was able to recall 'Katsu Kaishu'⁵ fairly quickly, but found difficulty naming the other two. I fear I may have gotten them mixed up with the Three Great Nobles of the Restoration⁶.

Keito: Kiryu’s answer to this is ‘Ishida Mitsunari’.

Souma: Kiryu-dono, are you not perhaps excessively fond of Ishida Mitsunari?

Keito: It is very interesting to imagine how Ishida Mitsunari must have felt after magically conquering his enemy’s forces and then time-traveling to the future to bring about a peaceful conclusion to the Edo Era. That’s not all, by the way.

Keito: Here are the other two names that Kiryu provided as answers.

Keito: ‘Tokugawa Ieyasu’.

Souma: Tokugawa Ieyasu⁷ has now come back to life after being enshrined!?

Keito: And lastly, ‘Ishida Ieyasu’.

Souma: Whoever might that fellow be!?

Keito: No clue. You should ask him. Kiryu, who is this guy?

Souma: Kiryu-dono, could it be that the only Japanese historical figures you remember the names of are Ishida Mitsunari and Tokugawa Ieyasu…? A-at the very least, you would do well to remember someone like 'Katsu Kaishu'!

Kuro: Shut up already… History doesn’t matter to us in the present day anyways.

Keito: Actually, it does. You see, we’ve been asked to host the ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’ show.

Souma: What? Hasumi-dono, could you possibly be referring to that ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’ show!?

Kuro: What’s that supposed to mean…… I’m not as studious as you guys, so I’ve got no clue what that even is.

Souma: To put it simply, it is a long-running educational program. I myself have watched it many a time.

Keito: Yes. While most educational shows are aimed at children, this one stands out as a more intense, catered to experts, covering far more intellectual subjects.

Keito: This long-running history-based educational program aims to explore history both broadly and in-depth.

Keito: It’s an excellent show for any fan of History, and it frequently surfaces in discussions of history… You’ve really never heard of it, Kiryu?

Kuro: That a bad thing? I haven’t had much reason to casually ‘discuss history’ in my whole life.

Souma: Ah- Um, regarding the show? Would it truly be possible for us to appear on ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’?

Keito: I wish I could just accept the offer officially. Naturally, such an opportunity is an honor.

Keito: It matches well with our image. However, the hosts of the show must be well-versed in their knowledge of history.

Keito: Hence this test, which was to ascertain our level of knowledge in the field.

Keito: I’m not naming names, but someone performed far worse than I could imagine, and so I fear it may not be possible for us to serve as hosts— Unfortunately.

Kuro: Argh, I’m sorry that that someone was just fucking stupid!?

Souma: I- It’s quite alright, Kiryu-dono. You are by no means a fool. You simply had naught an opportunity nor desire to learn. Right, Hasumi-dono?

Keito: Exactly. That’s why, over the course of the next week, Kiryu is going to learn all about history.

Keito: If he’s still living in a world where Ishida Mitsunari ruled the Tokugawa Shogunate by the end of this— Well, I’ll just pretend we never got any offer at all, and forget about it entirely.

Keito: I love this show, and I would have loved to host it if possible… However, if we’re unsuited for the job, then it can’t be helped.

Kuro: ……

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Translation notes (Apologies in advance for the History lesson)

Souma is being very literal here. Most Japanese text is traditionally written vertically.

This is a reference to a previous Idol story.

The Battle of Sekigahara was a clash between the forces of Tokugawa Ieyasu and Ishida Mitsunari. Historically, it was Mitsunari's loss, hence Keito's incredulity later. You can read more about it here.

The 'Sanfune of Edo' (幕末の三舟) are three people credited to preventing war from occurring with their diplomatic skill during the transfer of power from the Feudal Tokugawa Shogunate to the more modern Japanese Empire during the beginnings of the Meiji Restoration in an event known as the Fall of Edo.

Katsu Kaishū was one of the aforementioned Sanfune.

The Three Great Nobles of the Restoration were notable figures during the beginning of the Meji Restoration. Their existence and involvement with the Sanfune during the same time period is why Souma could've had difficulty discerning them.