Itâs a dull feeling when your future gets ripped out of your hands. You see, sometimes you catch yourself doing what you know you shouldnât: placing someone in your future. You forget that the other person also has to choose to be in your future and that choice is completely out of your hands. And for some time you notice belief growing inside yourself, a belief that this person might just stick around to see that future. When that someone just decides your future is not for them, youâre left with a void, a lack of purpose. âWhat do I do with my life now?â, you ask yourself, because you donât know what to replace that person with.
And to add to that injury, you also lose a part of your present. Because suddenly, one of your favourite pastimes is gone, and you have so much more time on your hands. Time where the only thing you can think about is what you lost. And of course you want that back, because how dare someone take something that important for you? Are you not allowed to choose your own happiness? Is it not your right to choose how to spend your time? Is it not your right to be loved?
However, you forget that you cannot force someone else. You are just as entitled to love as you are to not being loved. There is no reason behind love, it just is or isnât. The fact that you love someone is not a reason for them to love you back, just as their eyes (or their smile, or the gap in their teeth, or whatever) is a valid reason for you to have fallen in love with them. This is the fundamental problem with loving someone else.
For love is a force of nature, and just like the weather, we might get close to predicting it, but weâll never be able to control it and it will always be capricious. We might love someone who is in no way our type, who hurts us deeply and often, and lack the power to stop loving them. We must abide by its rules, or its lack of. This randomness might be the reason itâs such a strong feeling, because itâs always a leap of faith. There is no security, no way to be sure this will end well and if you try to keep yourself from being hurt, you risk closing yourself off from the other person and thereby losing love.
And somehow, in some strange and twisted way, we think itâs all worth it. Because when we get faced with the idea of someone to put in our futures again, we have to retain ourselves from chasing after it mindlessly. This is not a bad thing though. Every love, every relationship, yes even every end is a new lesson, a new thing learned about yourself. I know it hurts, and I know it seems like terrible tragedy in the moment, but if you look back, youâll realise how much youâve learned.
So chase that love, go after those feelings you have and try. Worst case scenario, it hurts and you learn. Best case scenario, you meet someone who will be your future for the rest of your life. Be in love because you can. Be in love because it is one of the most beautiful things in life. Be in love because whatever the outcome, youâll be a better person for it. So be in love. For you.
yousharknotpass
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