LMAO yessss, kate harrison!!!

Alright you little shits, it’s story time with your local gay trans dad.

I’m a member of an audition-only marching band in my city, and we perform a LOT. We have two uniforms; one that makes my chest quite obvious if I don’t bind, and one that shows absolutely no difference if I bind or not.

The main event that we perform for, we perform a minimum of 5 times a day, 10 days straight. We perform in both uniforms, every single day. This is also in the middle of summer, so it’s hot as BALLS.

Performing, this band does not hold back. We have full energy with every single action to the 45-minute long set we play twice daily.

Now, last year was my first time I ever performed with this ensemble for this event. And despite knowing the dangers, I decided that I would bind every single day in the uniform that made my chest obvious if I didn’t.

BIG. FUCKING. MISTAKE.

Fast forward a month and I’m suddenly getting these really weird pains in my ribs.

Fast forward three more months and my doctor has told me that I’ve damaged the cartilage lining my rib cage. He has forbidden me from binding or wearing anything that can hold my chest in place.

I’ve barely been able to play since these rib pains started. I’ve been on three different drugs which have had very little effect.

The point of this story? BIND. SAFELY.

I know it sucks. I know how bad dysphoria gets. I know. But it is not worth the excruciating pain you’ll be in if you don’t bind safely.

I’ve lost time for preparing my audition materials for post secondary, I haven’t been able to perform with any of the ensembles I’m in, and I’m now ages behind everyone in preparations for the Rose Bowl Parade.

Not a musician? I understand. Think back to the fact that my doctor has forbidden me from wearing anything that holds my chest.

I’m now confined to oversized sweaters until my top surgery. And in case you’re wondering, no, it’s not good for dysphoria.

Dr. Z. was, easily, the best and most competent doctor or dentist I’ve ever encountered – and after that accident, I encountered quite a number. He came stunningly highly recommended, had an excellent record, and the most calming bedside manner I’ve ever seen.

That last wasn’t the sweet gentle caretaking sort of manner, which some nurses have but you wouldn’t expect to see in a surgeon. No; when Dr. Z. told me that one of my broken molars was too badly damaged to save, and I (being seventeen and still moderately in shock) broke down crying, he stared at me incredulously and said, in a tone of utter bemusement, “But – I am very good.”

I stopped crying on the spot. In the last twenty-four hours or so of one doctor after another, no one had said anything that reassuring to me. He clearly just knew his own competence so well that the idea of someone being scared anyway was literally incomprehensible to him. What more could I possibly ask for?

(He was right. The procedure was very extended, because the tooth that needed to be removed was in bits, but there was zero pain at any point. And, as he promised, my teeth were so close together that they shifted to fill the gap to where there genuinely is none anymore, it’s just a little easier to floss on that side.)

But Dr. Z.’s insane competence wasn’t just limited to oral surgery.

When I met Dr. Z., he, like most doctors I’ve had, asked me if I was in college, and where, and what I was studying. When I say “math,” most doctors respond with “oh, wow, good for you” or possibly “what do you want to do with that after college?”

Dr. Z. wanted to know what kind of math.

I gave him the thirty-second layman’s summary that I give people who are foolish enough to ask that. He responded with “oh, you mean–” and the correct technical terms. I confirmed that was indeed what I meant (and keep in mind, this was upper-division college math, you don’t take this unless you’re a math major). He asked cogent follow-up questions, and there ensued ten or so minutes of what I’d call “small talk” except for how it was an intensely technical mathematical discussion.

He didn’t, as far as I can tell, have any kind of formal math background. He just … knew stuff.

I was a competitive fencer at this point in time, so when he asked if I had any questions about the surgery that would be necessary, I asked him if I’d be okay to fence while I had my jaw wired shut, or if it would interfere with breathing.

“Fencing?” he said.

“Yes,” I said, “like swordfighting,” because this is another conversation I got to have a lot. (People assume they’ve misheard you, or occasionally they think you mean building fences.)

“Which weapon?”

“Uh. Foil.”

“No, it won’t be safe,” and he went off into an explanation of why.

Turns out, he was also a serious fencer – and, when I mentioned my fencing coach, an old friend of his. (I asked my fencing coach later, and, oh yes, Dr. Z., a good friend of mine, excellent fencer.) (My coach was French. Dr. Z. was Israeli. I never saw Dr. Z. around the club or anything. I have no idea how they knew each other.)

So this was weird enough that later, when I was home, I looked Dr. Z. up on Yelp. His reviews were stellar, of course, but that wasn’t the weird thing.

The weird thing was that the reviews were full of people – professionals in lots of different fields – saying the same thing: I went to Dr. Z. for oral surgery, and he asked me about what I did, and it turned out he knew all about my field and had a competent and educated discussion with me about the obscure technical details of such-and-such.

All sorts of different fields, saying this. Lawyers. Businessmen. Musicians.

As far as I can tell, it’s not that I just happened to be pursuing the two fields he had a serious amateur interest in – he just seemed to be extremely good at literally everything.

I have no explanation for this. Possibly he sold his soul to the devil.