paisley goreyboingos

Sex repulsed culture is wondering if I'm a bad person for being repulsed and not wanting to consent to witnessing any sexual acts.

Sex repulsed culture is feeling like you're letting down the ace, aro and aroace communities by being a harmful stereotype and wondering if I'm even allowed to call myself aroace because of that.

Sex repulsed culture is thinking about conversion therapy. I don't want to be a bigot or a puritan or a prude, everyone is so positive towards sex that I feel like I'm wrong for being repulsed and that I need to change, there's something wrong with me and it should be fixed.

‘Everyone’s into something!!’ WRONG

‘Everyone feels sexual arousal sometimes’ WRONG

‘Everyone masturbates’ WRONG

‘Everyone has kinks’ WRONG

Why is it considered so impossible that somebody like me exists??

but then you add the fact that I'm gay into the mix and now it's even HARDER because yknow. for a lot of gay people being able to do that is Important given.... history and the criminalization of such things. and I think that's understandable, honestly!

but it'd also make attempting to date even harder for me since I'm repulsed and would never be willing to do that. and it'd probably be a deal-breaker for a lot of people.

I don't blame any allo gays for that - again especially with queer history being The Way It Is - but... it sucks because it makes me feel like I am just fundamentally incompatible with anyone I'd want a romantic relationship with just because of The Way I Am, and that being able to have one at all when I would like one is just. impossible. solely because I'm me :(

It's just a thing

Stop treating it like it's more important than that.

If I said that drinking coffee was fundamental to humanity, and that anyone who didn't drink coffee was somehow lesser and inhuman, that would be extremely fucked up. What about people who prefer tea? What about people who prefer soda? What about people who don't like tea or coffee or soda and only drink water? Obviously all of those people are still human. Obviously the statement that coffee is fundamental to someone's humanity and inherently positive is stupid.

Yet when we're talking about sex positivity, it treats sex like it's fundamental to humanity and inherently positive.

IT'S JUST A THING.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX JUST PLEASE DON'T SHOVE IT IN MY FACE

I’m so sick of hearing stuff like ‘ace people write the freakiest smut!!’ And ‘ace people are always the kinkiest!!’ And ‘Ace people have the dirtiest minds!’ And all that kind of thing. I’m so tired of people making jokes about checking my search history and saying I must read really dirty fanfic when they find out I’m ace. I’m so tired of the idea that ace people are all super kinky and dirty minded. I couldn’t be further from that. I am completely sex repulsed and avoid sexual content wherever possible. Why are people like me deemed an unimportant outlier? And seeing this kind of thing spread around even in the ace community as if it’s funny (I don’t think it is funny at all. It reads the same to me as any other generalising stereotype about a marginalised group of people) is so disheartening. No shame to people who are ace and do like that kind of thing, obviously, but in my case and the case of so many others it’s simply not true. If we can acknowledge how stereotypes about other lgbt+ orientations, while they may be true for some people, shouldn’t be used to represent the whole community and can actually be harmful and misleading, why can’t we do the same for aces???

Is it seriously too much to ask to not be sexualised and generalised like that??

Actually, in a society that relentlessly sexualises everyone and everything, pushes compulsory sexuality onto everyone, portrays sexual attractiveness and level of sexual activity as a huge part of what determines someone’s ‘worth’, and portrays sexual relationships as one of the most important things there is, I think refusing to take part in any of that at all and completely rejecting it is really subversive and equally as valid. I thought the whole point of liberation was that everyone gets to be free to decide what they want- why is it such an issue for so many people in ‘progressive’ spaces, then, when the choice that a person makes is that they don’t wish to be sexualised or be sexual at all?

As if we don't deserve to have a fun escape from reality also?

They don't care how I supported them in the past. Back then gay romances in games were hated on, I always supported other queer people right to representation and expression. And what do I get in return? More acephobia, more aphobia. From people who supposed to understand. Understand how it feels to not be included, to be alienated. I'm sorry but I'm done. I won't support aphobes anymore. If you don't care about us, I don't care about you.

shout-out to all the loveless and heartless folks who became that way because of trauma

shout-out to all the queer people who's queerness is tied to trauma

shout-out to everyone who lost some part of themselves or changed fundamentally because of something that happened to them

shout-out to everyone with anger and resentment for losing things about themself or for being changed beyond their control

"Oh why are you such a purist at your age" no Janet. If YOU want to talk about sex, draw sexy fanarts and stuff, that's fine by me!! You should be allowed to talk abt that, period! What I'm saying is: Just don't force ppl who don't like it to look at it, bc those ppl are trying to ENJOY that stuff just as much as you, and being forced to look at smth that makes you straight up uncomfortable REALLY ruins the experience.