holy is the mouth that bleeds

the thing about sidgeno is that it's the quintessential love story where somehow the laws of geography, international law, language and sports management all individualy and simultaneously worked together to make sure two people could meet and become fundamental parts of each other's lives. the thing about sidnate is that nathan mackinnon is living a kind of psychosexual horror drama previously unknown to mankind.

the thing about sidclaude is that sidney crosby and claude giroux tried to kill each other for real.

ok i thought of several more of these. sidovi is like a pr marriage, but the marriage is actually a rivalry to sell more season tickets. sidjack is like a lifetime movie where a small-city girl leaves to new york (actually pittsburgh, pa) to follow her dream job but comes back to her hometown in the christmas season and sees her childhood sweetheart again. sidmario is if you wanted to fuck your highschool teacher. sidmack is if your highschool student wanted to fuck you. sidgenoanna is like if a married couple wanted you to be their purse dog. also, you might have birthed their son. sidkris is a nerd girl and a bad boy, also the bad boy has great hair and is french-canadian. sidflower is if your wife died tragically, or a orpheus/eurydice thing, and your wife/eurydice is also french-canadian. sid x ek is like if you wanted to fuck the pool boy. anyway, the point is if you've stood beside sidney crosby for more than five minutes there's an ao3 tag for you two.

life gets better when you realise you can write the most vile, irredeemable, perverse fiction ever and no one can stop you

My biggest kink is someone telling me I was right and saying sorry after.

t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"