Realistic Halloween Starters
āā He gave me a toothbrush. Letās egg his house.ā āDidnāt even try to decorate the house, huh.ā āIf you wear that āthis is my costumeā t-shirt, I swear to godā¦ā āEw, I hate this flavor. Trade?ā āStop crying, it was just some dude wrapped in toilet paper!ā āWow, you sure put too much effort into this holiday.ā āThey didnāt have any more candy so I asked for weed.ā āDONāT GIVE KIDS ALCOHOLIC CANDY!ā āEvery time I sit down more kids show up at the door. I hate Halloween.ā āWhoops, no more candy. Sorry. Bye.ā āHow cute. You look like you raided a dumpster!ā āTHAT COSTUME IS CULTURALLY INSENSITIVE!ā āApparently sheās dressed as a witch, but I donāt really see the differenceā¦ā āArenāt you a little old to be trick or treating?ā āI donāt think you should be having that much sugarā¦ā āIf you werenāt diabetic before, Iām pretty sure you are nowā¦ā āBobbing for apples is gross. Every kid got spit in there.ā āThis house isnāt scaāAHHH!ā āKind of makes me wish something interesting would happen. Like murder.ā āNO. NO OUIJA BOARDS!ā āWeāre going to a graveyard? What are you, thirteen?ā āIāve seen scarier Hot Topic cashiers.ā āThis isnāt right. Where are the slutty male costumes?!ā āThis party sucks. Iād rather be out getting free candy with first-graders.ā āYeah, because I definitely want to get arrested for trespassing tonight.ā āYou wasted all the toilet paper on the first house, thereās nothing left!ā āOkay, so just hit the door bell and then run!ā āItās just a couple of broken eggs, itās not going to damage the car!ā āNo way. People who have sex at parties die on Halloween. Thatās just movie logic.ā














