I think obsession shows an interesting view of reactive abuse.
Bear’s wish quickly and effectively takes away the autonomy of Kiki, without putting Bear in the typical, long-term systematic abusive aggressor role that could span a whole movie. When women are in these long term abusive relationships with men like Bear, and their agency and self esteem gets completely stripped away, the reactive response (on a smaller scale) IS Kiki’s behavior. Even if it’s just subconsciously, and the victim does not lash out, it manifests physically and emotionally. Turning this experience into a horror film is genius. The wishing willow is a framing device that mimics this situation perfectly:
Bear is able to completely take away her autonomy, benefit from it, and have an excuse if his actions are ever questioned in a snap.
But is he able to do right by Kiki? He didn’t know this would happen, sure. Is he able to return her love, even when it doesn’t benefit him? No.
He never returns her love, or shows her love.
He revels in the benefits of the relationship (sex, status, someone to engage in ‘romance’ with) and self victimizes in the moments when it doesn’t.
Kiki is posessive, emotionally reactive, insecure, manipulative and jealous after the wish is made. She’s abusive. But interrogating the why of her actions is so important for the lonely, nice guy types who want to do better after watching this film.
