We didn't ask to be here.

“I would never call your ex-wife, that would be super creepy and invasive. I can use your ranking instead.”

“That was just your first name. A warning, if you will. Your full name shall be heard when it’s too late for warnings.”

“I don’t think that’s possible besides.. would the snow not melt from such an action?”

“Wait until October, that’s when I break out the really nice waistcoats.”

“She’s honestly not the worst I’ve ever dealt with.” He took a sip of his and hummed, sitting back in his seat. “I will be having her work to compensate for that window at risk of losing tree-climbing privileges, but after 300 years, the only difference between her and other stupid teenagers is her capacity to follow through on terrible ideas.”

“Way ahead of you, mate.” Pouring two glasses of the strong stuff, one which is actual alcohol and the other is… vodka? Water?

Water, with a single drop of red so vibrant it looks fake. “This one’s for me. Diluted demigod blood, willfully donated by a friend with a wicked sense of humor. Cheers.”