wuh oh guys! Set thrusters to bedtime because I just got a signal from planet Sleepy: they are going to kill us with lasers

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

I can’t even pretend to be interested in anyone or anything right now

life is fucking my ass up right now. shawty got hands, too. 👊🏾

I want yo @ handle so bad lmao

I feel peak freakiest when I got a million apps open

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

top ten hi moments that will have you helloing

deadbeat group chat member

child of gambino look like toro y moi if u came home after a long day took your socks off and dug him out from between your toes

child of gambino

scared out of my mind. anyway i love you

I think it's actually essential to children's moral development to be exposed to short stories moderately beyond their reading level where a bunch of fucked up shit happens and then instead of offering a moral lesson or any sort of emotional or narrative resolution it just ends.

(Ideally these stories should be presented in the form of poorly curated anthologies with the most generic titles imaginable, thereby rendering their contents impossible to identify or find later in life and leaving the affected individual wondering whether they dreamed the whole thing.)

a meba 🦠 is almost like a really really small anermal but not quite