Something wicked this way comes

1)     Coffee shop AU

i)       Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee order

ii)      I’m worried about your coffee dependency

iii)     you accidentally poured boiling hot coffee over me so you’re responsible for taking me to A&E

iv)     you give me a different fake name every time you come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino

2)      Flower shop AU

i)       You buy a weird amount of flowers and I’m concerned as to why

ii)      I’m allergic to flowers but I work in a flower shop – you’re a customer who’s very confused as to why I’d do that

iii)     (this is also a good way to incorporate flower meanings eg, buying certain colours/types for person to represent feelings etc.)

3)      Library AU

i)       You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking u the fuck down

ii)      I work in the library and I’m a little concerned for your health bc you never stop studying

iii)     The library’s pretty empty save for you and me and OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere

4)      Awful first time meeting

i)       I accidentally punched you in the face when I was too overexcited about something

ii)      I thought you were my friend who’s just done something awful to me (read: cut my hair while I slept, dyed all of my clothes pink, etc. etc.) because you look similar from behind so I stormed up to you and shoved you from behind while calling you an asshole

iii)     You get the gist to this one

iv)     Oooh when you told me your name I thought you were joking because it’s fucking awful and I made a joke about it and things got awkward real fucking fast (perfect for a Hannibal au just saying)

5)      Weird places to meet/awkward meetings in general

i)       We live in the same block of flats but haven’t ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to stand in the lift together

ii)      “okay I know that being in the woods at 2am is a weird thing to be doing but my friend called me and- wait, why are you in the woods at 2am, fuck I’m going to die aren’t I?”

iii)     A personal favourite of mine – first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night

iv)     We keep accidentally running into each other I’m not a stalker I swear

v)      You live across from me in our apartments and we smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable

vi)     “My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”

6)      Friends to romance – pining and all that wonderful shit

i)       You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you

ii)      I really like you but you’re my best friend’s ex

iii)     You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really miss it and fuck I think I like you too?

iv)     Somewhere along the way of getting into bar fights together, staying up all night with movie marathons, other friendship things, I’ve fallen in love with you but oh my god this could ruin EVERYTHING

v)      Friends with benefits oh wait I like you

7)      FAKE DATING HOLY SHIT I LIVE FOR THIS

i)       It’s my highschool reunion and I need a hot date so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me

ii)      My homophobic parents are coming to visit will you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?

iii)     There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?

iv)     I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in too deep I need a fake boyf ASAP

8)      Soulmate aus

i)       The first words your true love(s) will say to you are tattooed on you and why the fuck are their first words something really ridiculous like ‘I’ll pay you a tenner to punch me in the face’ or ‘quick what’s your favourite animal’ or ‘fucking shit hell holy fuck wow oh my god jesus h Christ fuck me’ etc. or even worse a really ridiculous song lyric like  the opening lines of uptown funk or a high school musical song or smthing did you have to serenade me the first time you saw me asshole?

ii)      You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or an overwhelming feeling that Thatcher was a good prime minister or an image in my mind of a fucking unicorn

iii)     The more ridiculous the better actually

iv)     Something like whenever your soulmate sings a duet you can’t help but join in and my fucking soulmate is in a goddamn band but I can’t sing for shit

v)      Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s what)

9)      Alternate universes for real

i)       Mermaids

ii)      Siren and asexual pirate who doesn’t understand why all his crew are losing their shit that person has a nice voice sure but what the fuck is happening

iii)     Hogwarts

iv)     We live in a world where the greek gods are real and you went and got yourself cursed and now I have to go on a fucking quest to sort this shit out why do I love you again?

v)      Pacific rim au (either they’re drift compatible or one of them is a ranger and the other stresses constantly bc what if they die yes I have read a fic like this no I didn’t come up with this one but it’s fucking good) (also if you haven’t seen that film go watch it now)

vi)     Literally any movie or book universe you like tbh just go for it

10)   Other aus that I like

i)       I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck at the top? Fuck

ii)      We work in the same office and you have a goddamn squeaky chair and you wONT FUCKING STOP SQUEAKING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT ANNOYS ME

iii)     Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this

iv)     It started to snow and I’m the only one of our friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others would go out in the snow with you (this works best if they’re new friends who don’t know each other all that well) when you shoved a handful of snow down my back and declared snow war

v)      It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the tree out no stop please stop (if you do this pre-relationship you can have the grouchy one secretly finding the other’s excitement endearing and falling in love with them actually that works for established relationship too)

vi)     Current partner got a new job in America (or other country far away) and we’re getting by on skype calls and emails but it’s not easy and then I met someone new (can be poly or can be finding the OTP person)

vii)   You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses

viii)  Carrying on from 10.vii. you’ve caught me checking you out in what I thought was a subtle way too many times and now you’re calling me out on it what do I do???

ix)     You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??

x)      You were waving at your friend behind me but I got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you think it’s cute

xi)     I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it’s hilarious and shut up you dumb fuck you don’t know me aahhh

xii)   I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t dance with you omg let me find you some water

xiii)  Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”

xiv)  You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you’re cuter up close and the way you talk is kind of nice actually oh fuck no

Okay I could go on forever but this is over 1,500 words of auing already I have too many ideas christ

Small starter meme.

Fluff//Romance “I’m doing this for you.” “You know you’re my one and only.” “I’m in love with you.” “I’ve always loved you.” “You’re the most important thing in the world to me.” “Forever and always.” “You’re my sunshine.” “I appreciate you.” “You’re so cute.” “You’re the most beautiful girl/boy I’ve ever seen.”

Secrets//Lies “I’m jealous of you.” “I’m in love with you, idiot.” “I never loved you.” “I don’t really like _____.” “You’re my hero.” “I’m in love with ____. Don’t tell them.” “I’ve never lied to you.” “I was using you.”

Angst “You don’t give a damn about me.” “Stop lying.” “Stop pretending.” “Get the hell away from me.” “I thought you loved me.” “I trusted you.” “You promised me!” “I needed you.” “I can never trust you again.”

Pain//Blood “You hit me.” “You shot me.” “You stabbed me.” “I’m bleeding.” “Everything hurts.” “I feel woozy.” “You’ve lost so much blood.” “You’re covered in blood.” “There’s so much blood.”

Vengeance for Friendship’s Sake

When a young Selkie girl is lured onto land by men, she is left without her skin and her way to return to her home to her family, her friends. She is left powerless.

Her mermaid friends will not allow this crime to go unpunished, nor leave the Selkie without her skin. The swear to find and cheerfully drown every sailor until the Selkie’s skin is returned to her and she is returned to the ocean. 

The story quickly spreads among the sailors but can they find the men who stole the Selkie’s skin in time to save their own lives. 

It feels too long since life slowed down enough to allow me to put pen to paper. Right now I am being forced to slow down. Mister Jarvis quite firmly told me that he would tie me down if I did not stay in bed. It was sweet, as was the scandalised look on his face as Ana and I burst out laughing. My laughing was only short, for it still hurts.

I suppose I should go back a few steps. In the course of an investigation I was thrown off a second floor and impaled on a metal rod below. Do not worry, Angie, I am recovering well. I would not be able to write to you if I was not.

Daniel was with me. He was so sweet and I do believe in those moments I remembered how I felt for him. I had done so well to put it aside due to his engagement, just as I try each day to let my love for Steve lie dormant. In that moment with Daniel the volcano threatened to awaken I am afraid but thankfully did not. He is marrying another, and I wish him nothing but happiness, of course.

How are you? I picture you often trying to get along day to day with that ever growing belly of yours. I do wish you would tell me who the father is so he might be there to help you out as well. I have my suspicions but since you will not tell me I suppose I will just have to catch Howard out when I ask him about your news.

I wish I could be there to help, Angie, but my place remains here. At least until the investigation is finished and then I am sure Jack will be dragging me back home.

Be well.

You friend, always.

Wolf Princess. - A Fairy Tale

A young princess is forced to flee from the castle when the kingdom comes under attack and her royal family is over thrown. The princess makes her way into the woods hoping she can hide there for those who wish to come after her and end her life as well. 

She had heard the tales of the beasts that roamed the woods in the full moon but she had never though them to be more than a story to scare children to their beds and out of the woods. 

But the wolves are real. 

Can the princess out run them long enough for the moon to set? Or will the wolves do what the invading soldiers could not?

The Lady Assassin

“Do you want to know the best thing about being a lovely young lady with a penchant for violence in a word ruled by men? No one ever suspects it is you!”

No one ever saw her coming. No one ever suspected it was her when the blood dried and the body cooled. She demanded the highest price and even those who hired her never new the truth. 

It was a charmed life.

AU Romanogers

“I couldn’t be prouder with you on my arm.”

When the Gods were rolling for the creation of Nerissa Firth they rolled high across the board. It was up to the girl herself to choose an alignment as she moved from Child to Woman. A  personality not befitting one of her sex in her time saw her walking a path lined with chaos and a code that did not match that of the law.

Nerissa had been kicked out of home before an accepted age by parents who could no longer deal with her and instead put the needs of themselves and her younger siblings first. Nerissa did not resent them for it. She was under no illusions about the type of woman she was growing to be.

Nerissa travelled and lived much the life of a nomad. Often leaving behind complications that left her unable to return to the small communities she passed through.

Tonight Nerissa perched on the roof of an old church in the City. The size of the city offered her some anonymity and she enjoyed it.  It was the eve of her twenty sixth birthday. In fact, it was mere minutes until the bell behind her would toll to announce the arrival of the day. After that it would be another four hours and twenty-two minutes until the precise anniversary of her birth. Not a single soul below knew or cared for that information.

Some friendships are for life. Some people will always have your back. Some best friends know you as well as you know yourself. 

Galmancers for life. 

A Romanogers fic for @thegreatshipcaptainswan. Merry Christmas!

“Steve! I swear to god if you grip my hip any tighter you better pull my hair and smack my ass.”

Natasha hissed the words through her fake smile as they posed for the camera. 

“Sorry. I, that is, sorry.” Steve mumbled right before the camera flashed. He was sure he’d just ruined the photo. Again. “I just don’t know why we’re doing this.”

“They voted, we were picked to be Mister and Missus December. The calendar will help the Sokovia refugees.” Natasha replied, her smile never faltering as she managed to get the words out. “Now shut up, I swear if you butcher another photo.”

“Sorry.” Steve replied and the photographer looked to the ceiling and let out a sigh.

“We’ll take five and then come back.”

“Sorry.” Steve mumbled again and Natasha laughed as she turned around to face him, his hand now resting on her lower back, almost cupping her backside, something Steve realised and blushed for.

“You know, for a guy who did all the bonds advertising you seem real nervous in front of a camera.”

“That was different. I wasn’t. You weren’t. I was. You weren’t…blonde.”

“No, I wasn’t blonde.” Natasha grinned. “Is my wig making you nervous, Captain Rogers?”

“What? No!”

“You know Captain America shouldn’t lie.” Natasha’s smirk was predatory and Steve swallowed hard. His eyes dropped down as Natasha ran her fingernails over his tie before grabbing it to tug. 

“Nat…” Steve tried to get out her name, ask what she was doing but he was having trouble focusing and he sounded awfully husky in his own ears with just that single syllable.

“Relax. It’s just a wig, and this is just a kiss.” 

The Princess and The Smugger