Goat Z

Bitches wanna buy their boyfriends the latest consoles but when was the last time he CONSOLED you? ps 5 years ago

Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

Great update

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

there is nothing quite like asking a cat in a doorway “in or out”

hey its me your doctor. idgaf

you and me are going to outlive this website. you and me are going to outlive everything. one day it will just be you and me

some people have tagged this with their various favourite fictional characters or even worse, their friends and lovers. let me be crystal fucking clear. it’s going to be you. and me.