Tennis players on the Titanic
Roger Federer: Everyone in the 1st class knows him and respects him. Always dressed impeccably, best manners by far, can hold conversation with anyone and not appear snobbish. When the disaster strikes, heās offered a place in the lifeboat but itās out of question heād take it while they are still women and children on board.
Rafael Nadal: While everyoneās having brandy, stuffing themselves in the restaurant and boasting about their wealth, heās in the gym. Joins everyone only after dinner, out of politeness (and to be with Roger). When the ship starts sinking, heās out trying to help everybody. Heās last seen giving his warm coat to a lady.
Sascha Zverev: Half of the 1st class call him āsonā despite him not being related to anybody. When the ship strikes the iceberg, heās already asleep, so he appears on board half-dressed and really confused. An officer spots him and figures heās tall and strong and they need men to row, so they put him in a lifeboat. Worst decision ever, because Sascha canāt row at all.
Jack Sock: The one merry passenger of the 3rd class who is really nice and polite and wouldnāt hurt a fly, but once the ship starts sinking, he will break as many doors and rules as he has to because he will not let the people die.
Andy Murray: Comes from a totally matriarchal family, so doesnāt get half of the gentlemenās sexist jokes. Approves of the shipās construction, but constantly complains about the quality of tea. When the disaster strikes, he blames himself for it, just because heās British.
Nick Kyrgios: That one problematic passenger that constantly gets into fights with the crew over trespassing and destroying things. Survives, because itās Nick, and then sues the hell out of the company.
Novak Djokovic: Everyone in the 1st class hates him because he constantly makes inappropriate jokes and impersonates fellow passengers. Tries to appear brave first, but finally bribes an officer to get a place in the lifeboat.
Jeremy Chardy: Doesnāt know how he got on the Titanic, probably won the tickets in poker or something. Doesnāt know how he got in the lifeboat, probably just wandered there when nobody was looking. Utterly confused all the time.
Diego Schwartzman: The one 2nd class passenger you donāt even notice, because he minds his own business. Survives, because in the dark and chaos he gets mistaken for a child.
Denis Shapovalov: The ray of sunshine, having the time of his life on the Titanic. Asks for seconds during dinners and everyone thinks itās cute. Tells everyone there has to be a happy ending, because itās his birthday (April 15th). Literally the last person on board to lose hope.
Dominic Thiem: Too nice and shy for the 1st class smoking room. Spends afternoons drinking tea with elderly ladies, who all want him to marry their granddaughters. When the ship starts sinking, he cries, because he canāt save everyone. Survives, but suffers from major survivor guilt.
Grigor Dimitrov: Only there to seduce the ladies, major gold digger, has the largest wardrobe. Is on the Titanic because everyone who means something is on the Titanic, but actually fights with being seasick.
David Goffin: Is so inconspicuous and polite he gets mistaken for a steward a couple times. A brilliant student whoās just graduated and is traveling to see the world and have a break (everything covered by his parents, of course). Helps old ladies and children get in the lifeboats.
Stefanos Tsitsipas: Pretends heās very rich and heir to some estates, an exiled Greek prince or something. In fact heās completely broke because the life he leads is not compatible with his bank account. The last money he spentā¦ yes, for the tickets. Luckily, will get compensation after the sinking.
Marin ÄiliÄ: Had a premonition that the ship will sink, very pessimistic, doesnāt even leave his cabin and sleeps with the lifejacket on. Feels the urge to tell everyone āI told you this would happen!ā while the ship is sinking.
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