A / 20-something / Bi, Shy and always at my post limit

when they’re finally alone after a game (after weeks of anticipation… a fresh haircut, new cologne, tailored jeans that fit just right) and they’re just all over each other. So desperate, like their skin has been on fire for weeks and the other one is the only salve that works.

And it’s all furious energy after the game and the waiting… but as they fall into the bed and it’s happening so quickly and it will be over so quickly….

they both do everything they can to draw it out without the other noticing.

Shane is trying to make his abnormally precise clothes folding seem teasing and tempting instead of a moment to take in Ilya’s presence, his eyes on Shane’s skin.

Just as Shane is about to come Ilya remembers just how short the countdown is between Shane’s orgasm and Shane leaving him alone again. So Ilya edges him to tears, revelling in Shane’s desperation but also just trying to delay the inevitable for as long as possible.

And if Shane just happens to make a mess across both of their stomachs…

And if Ilya just happens to suggest that they shower together again…

And if a shower turns into sleepy third round handjobs and they both just flop onto the hotel bed exhausted to take a nap…

Shane: Aw it's like you and Hayden.

Ilya: Haha so funny.

A beat, then –

Ilya: Wait who is who?

Shane: 🙂

Ilya: No, My Shane, I'm being so serious. Who is who?

Shane: 🙂🙂

He becomes a consultant who shitty teams trying to not suck, good teams who want to last further into the playoffs, great teams who want to finally win the cup, call to Fix Them.

He is paid absolutely bonkers amounts of money to watch a team play for five minutes and immediately diagnose what’s wrong with them. He is always right.

Ok 5 minutes is probably an exaggeration. The coaches send him a bunch of tape to review in advance. They probably focus on their best players or the ones they think need the most improvement, but half the time Shane requests more, focusing on players they hadn’t paid much attention to before. Then one day at practice, the players look up into the stands and are filled with awe, terror, and wonder, because Shane Hollander is sitting there staring directly at them with a scarily thoughtful look on his face.

He meets with the coaches and gm and reports his conclusions. Who to trade and for who , how to get better results from certain players, how to run power plays and penalty kills, changes in line makeups.

Some lucky players get to meet with him. He takes about five minutes to list off or demonstrate everything they need to do to stop sucking. He has no time for chit chat or hero worship. Focus, listen, learn, and do exactly what he says and you will be good. Fail to do what he says and you will shame your entire bloodline.

I nearly didn't read this book at the beginning. Because we had briefly met Troy twice before, and I wasn't very interested in any kind of redemption arc in the beginning. But I knew the book was pretty intertwined with The Long Game, and I'm kind of peculiar about reading things in order. So I did read it after all before moving on to The Long Game.

I'm glad I read the book. And I've had conversations with others who told me they avoid the book for the same reason as I nearly did. Which really makes me question and reflect on the fact that somehow a lot of fandom spaces are very unforgiving and set in a black-and-white view, and how contagious that is. I think we see that pretty clearly in a lot of discourse about the things people hate about certain characters (including Shane and Ilya) and the creators of book and show. But that would be another post.

Back to the book.

I learned to like Troy while reading. And I love Harris and Harris' family. I especially love how loud and proud Harris is. And of course, I love Chiron. Who wouldn't!

I vibed a lot with Harris' insecurity about his scars. Mine is probably a lot smaller than his, but it's also in a place that's exposed a lot during summer, and that makes finding certain summer wear that's not chaffing at the scar tissue difficult. (There is also a lot of headcanon going around about Harris being on the thicker side, though the only description in the book is "stocky," which could mean anything, really. But I'll be happy to adopt that headcanon; I just fear people will forget it's a beloved headcanon upon the casting being announced. And I've seen some arguments about it being unrealistic that Harris is overweight but not insecure about that while being insecure about his scars, and I laughed because that means I'm unrealistic, I guess. Never lost the weight I gained over that summer of hospital-hell, and yes, I'm super insecure about my scar while insecure thoughts about my weight or body shape are few and far between.) 

Harris and Troy are super messy together, though. I'd even say they're messier than Shane and Ilya ever managed to be in the seven years of sneaking around the NHL. Mostly because Troy is a hot mess and definitely would benefit from a lot of therapy. Troy is in such a bad position, emotionally and mentally, and I do think a lot of his struggle about what kind of person he was so far and what kind of person he'd like to be was captured in a pretty good way.

I have seen some comments about this book that argue Troy's redemption arc fell short. And I always think, reading those arguments, that people judge the book outside of its genre, and that's a major mistake. The main focus of the book is the romance between Troy and Harris. Everything else around it, including their characterisation outside their relationship, is an add-on. The book starts with Troy and Harris meeting for the first time, and ends with them getting their happily ever after together, no matter what else is still going on in their lives. And for a romance, there is no other choice than that. Because that's the story of the romance told!

In the end, the book isn't about Troy's redemption. Otherwise it would've started sooner, probably with the fight between Troy and Kent. And it would've ended later, because the book ends before Troy's redemption arc is finished. We're left knowing he still has a lot of work to do there. For the scope th focus of this book being Troy and Harris falling in love, I think do get a pretty big part of his redemption along the way, and see that he truly means it, and that he is very well aware that rapairing some things is impossible and that's okay (aka his kind of conversation with Ryan), he'll just have to live with it and learn from it for the future.

Trilingual Shane who wakes up in the middle of the night murmuring in French and cuddling up to an insomniac Ilya.

Ilya who didn’t even know Shane spoke a lick of Japanese until he caught him on the phone with Yuna sounding like “はい mom, I told you that I emailed them back about the promo. はい mom, はい…嘘じゃない jeez bye…yes mom, yes..yes alright, yes またね”

Consider: baby Shane who pronounces ‘puck’ as ‘fuck’. Like. Teeny (fat) baby. He’s about 14-15 months and in Yuna’s arms watching a hockey game on TV.

“MAMA FUCK!”

“Yes, sweetie. PUCK.” *glances at her in-laws awkwardly.”

He’s almost two and running around with a baby hockey stick, and a cousin takes it.

“My fuck my fuck my fuck!”

A young David Hollander (who is so sexy!!!), had just had his first big promotion, being internally deployed from a mid-class job at Health Canada to a higher-class job at the Treasury Board of Canada as a policy analyst, coming with not only a pay raise but a new cushy office!

To celebrate, his new bosses invite him to a celebratory dinner, and instruct him to bring his family and introduce them.

So, of course, Yuna and David bring their little shanebug. Their prized possession. He gets forcibly stuffed into nice khakis and a button up. He hates it, but what baby/young toddler doesn't hate fancy clothes?

They get there slightly late because Shanebug did not want to get up from snuggle-time and threw quite the tantrum, and David's bosses, who are mostly old men with grand babies, find him just adorable. They're all taking turns holding him and pinching his cheeks, but Shane just wants to return to his father's lap. He doesn't like strangers holding him for more than five minutes. Furthermore, he would not sit in the crappy restaurant high chair. David awkwardly laughs it off, slightly embarrassed that his baby was being so pouty at dinner and held him in his lap.

The food comes, Yuna and David didn't order Shane any because he's a baby. He'll just have a bottle later before bed ☺️ (wishful thinking, really.).

There's the usual boring conversion topics. 'How's your wife?' 'Oh, great, how's your wife?' 'Oh, great. How are your kids?' 'Oh, great. How are your kids?' 'Oh, you know. College. Oldest is getting married in about 5 month.'

But it's around fifteen minutes in when David realizes some of the men keep glancing over, not at him, but at Shane. And that Yuna is holding in giggles?

David looked down to see about half of his salmon filet was... missing? Weird. He looks a bit further down to see his little -well, no- Shanebug with two fistfulls of his salmon and a half-chewed mouthful of it.

"Shane!" David exclaims. "Bug, no. You're not supposed to be eating solids." He gently scolds, trying to remove the salmon from Shane's fists.

Shane squirms and kicks his legs, stuffing another fistful into his mouth.

David's bosses laugh, a rich person laugh. The laugh of men who play golf and drink top shelf whiskey.

"Really? Because it looks like he eats solids." One of them jokes, leading to more laughter. How embarrassing, David thinks.

"Dada... Sa-mom." Shane says, looking up at David with teary eyes and a pout that says, 'but daddy, I'm starving' in no words.

David, embarrassingly, buckles immediately and let's Shane eat over half of his salmon. Shane would've eaten more if Yuna didn't stop him. Afterwards, Shane slept like a rock all night long. And, I mean, a win is a win!