grow & glow

girls don’t want boys. girls want clear skin and good grades.

Our societal view of self love is weird. I do think that nourishing your body and embracing all its “flaws” to spite patriarchal standards is indeed a good thing, but that is not what self love should be about. Self love for me means deep, unconditional love and healing, which starts with your inner child. 95% of the problems we have come from our childhood. From the love we didn’t get, our feelings that were not validated and the vainly try to get our parents to care for us, praise us, be proud of us. Not getting these fundamental needs met leaves a hole is us, that superficial self love cannot fill. You need to stop wishing for your parent(s) to change and start mothering yourself, as stupid as that may sound. It is okay to mourn for your parent(s), even if they are still alive, but not emotionally and/or physically present in your life. Recognize what they could not give to you as a child (kind words, appreciation, space for negative emotions...) and give those things to yourself. This is an essential part of healing. This is what self love should be about.

learn beautiful languages.

But what I’ve come to realize is that when you live and behave the way other people want you to be, you cannot be yourself. You have strenghts and weaknesses, like every other person has and you won’t always be able to use your strenghts in a way that will please everyone. That is okay. Don’t live up to others expectation of how you should be, just be. Be yourself. Recognize your good traits and use them in a way that will benefit you. Not being what your parents, teachers, significant other, chef or anyone else want you to be is good, because it means you are YOU. Insecure people project their unfulfilled dreams to other people and want them to be what they couldn’t. Realizing this will make you free and leaves room to create yourself, independently. Living others expectation of how you should be is a cage, break out!

physical selfcare is necessary, but mental selfcare should be your priority. your body doesnt follow where your mind wont push it. you need to leave your comfort zone because you know you deserve and can do better.

eating well is a form of self respect