gloveattacker

prince philip finally listened to the playlist i see

incredibly grateful that tumblr doesn’t have a memories feature like every other social media platform because frankly i am terrified to even think about what kind of tomfoolery and hooliganery i was getting into 6 years ago on this website

Genuinely just a good man. Wife adopts teenage witch that needs a place to stay in the city? Sure. Even though you got a kid on the way? That’s fine. Cat too? Love cats. 

me standing over a dead body with a bloody knife in my hand: look i know this looks very…uh…(absently snaps fingers three times) oh what’s the word….(”bad?”) no, not bad…i mean, yes bad, obviously, but…uh…it’s like “convicting” but it’s not? you know? well anyway..ugh this is gonna be bothering me all day until i think of it..

(3 seconds after getting thrown into the brig) INCRIMINATING

@fictionalized

what do you think would happen if a man was injected all types of viruses and diseases at once