Time for the Blair Mountain Sequel

hiking that ends in you pumping a load into me behind a tree

Dick Cheney Hunting Simulator

speaking is a sort of playing where words are the toys

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

"nobody likes a complainer" you say, like an idiot, as if thriving ecosystems of friendships aren't blossoming every day based solely on people vocally disliking the same things in similar ways

*reaches out my hand in love & friendship* come be a Hater with me

being able to go to work with hickeys and bite marks on your neck is a human right.

Alright feeling the need to elaborate. The general idea is it’s freely given/consensual and no prions. So basically if there were no negative consequences.

whats cool about being trans is my parents are totally right. i did kill their beautiful son. im the thing that animates his corpse in an ever more convincing parody of a happy girl. i devoured him from the inside out and now there is nothing left of him and he is dead dead dead and there is only me, with my hollow eyes and dark eyeliner and long hair, and my big smile. my limp, effeminate gestures belie the marionetting of the boy they loved. my fagginess is his death. already his body becomes a fitter home for my parasitism in full; the tits, the hips, the thighs. sorry about your kid. thanks for the biomass <3

i love it when italians argue about italian. like we don’t even know how our language really works we just roll with it

Italian is 107 different provincial languages stuck together with spit and half a prayer

My bf lives in another region and we are constantly arguing about regional variations of words and we both live in the fucking north of Italy

one time i saw a map of italy but instead of cities and roads etc it was just covered w different ways you can say the word vagina. it was covered

oh I can think of at least seven ways to say the word vagina right off the top of my head rn. I can’t imagine what I could do if I tried harder

this is the Italian Vagina Map, reblog to… I’m not sure actually. Can’t hurt though. 

reblog to Italian season your pussy

Reblog to give a trans person a shockingly high resolution mango

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.