giselles-diary

joker: haha i got bored of gotham so i mixed kryptonite with scarecrow gas to prank your alien friend into thinking his pregnant wife was doomsday and attached her heart to a nuclear bomb to destroy his city his unborn child and umm lois of course. it’s called performance art look it up

bruce wayne: danggg thats actually so messed up but like why did you do that to him its only been about ussss dang ittt now i have to beat the living shit out of you and put you in arkhammm i hope superman doesn't fly in and fist-penetrate you in the chest omggg

(spoiler superman did do that btw)

okay so like 3 years later i think;

bruce wayne: damian please just follow the rules. stop killing people. stop hanging out with superman he's a very bad man oh and also i am disowning you for killing my FAVORITE son on accident like whyd you have to kill my favorite son dang ittttt i wish catwoman was here to wipe my eyes

damian: but superman told me to keep to the beaten track father. you simply do not understand the artistic vision of the regime, superman is just trying to do what is right i will continue to be a murderous guppy because like superman is better and is more of a father than you ever were i guess

dick grayson as deadman: bruce i am begging you to forgive him he has been like this for three days it was an accident

superman: bruce i am creating a utopia and i am fixing the world, you are just mad because your parenting style is a failure and your son likes my dictatorship better than your rules. i am now the ruler of the world by policing and slaughtering everyone who gets in my way and you will never stop me and anyone that kills will die on the spot so like don't do it

diana prince: clark is right, bruce. if he has to vaporize a few cities to establish world peace, i support his rights and his wrongs (which he never has). honestly clark, keep killing these innocent people. the absolute tyranny is doing things for me. execute another insurgent so we can finally go on that date.

superman: diana please not in front of my ex-best friend and his dead son there's people watching wtf girl

green lantern: listen bruce, i know i spent the last five years wearing a yellow ring, joining a fear cult, and helping clark enslave the population, and also working with um sinestro to slaughter more people but i did some reflecting in space and i’m back to being a green guy now! i'm helping and not being useless!

shazam: guys please stop fighting superman is threatening to laser my eyes out (foreshadowing) maybe we are going a bit too far with this. this isn't you, superman lois wouldn't want this

superman: are you questioning my dictatorship, billy? you dare speak about what my dead wife would have wanted near me?? (he says as he grabs the middle-schooler by the throat and freezes his mouth shut so he can't scream his magic word and overpower him and melts his eyes and brain right there on the spot)

the flash: oh wow um i was cool with like the global police state but murdering the 12 year-old might mean we are the bad guys, guys. get it, cause guys and guys are like yk like yk nevermind

tim drake: bruce !! oh my god i’ve been trapped in a timeless dimensional void for six actual years !! superman locked the teen titans away and i missed literally everything but i’m back now and i’m ready to help you rebuild the insurgency and fix this entire family— gets unceremoniously blasted straight through the ribs by general zod’s laser heat vision mid-sentence

ra's al ghul: detective, i am thrilled to announce that the league of assassins is officially rebranding into an eco-conscious corporate initiative. we have successfully weaponized general zod’s DNA to create an invasive species of genetically modified plants that will wipe out 90% of the human population. but don't worry, the remaining 10% will enjoy 100% carbon-neutral organic farming. damian, pack your bags, we are going to the amazon rainforest to save the turtles via mass extinction