in my defense, i was left unattended

mini m&ms are better than normal ones bc they cater to the very specific urge to eat colorful aquarium gravel

*looks at the moon* well arent you gonna help me bitch

“human-passing”

Yesterday at the foster clinic there was a woman with a litter of tiny, tiny kittens, one of whom was a beautiful orange and white creamsicle.  I told her, “I love orange boy cats, they are all so stupid.” and the foster mom said to me, with tears of love in her eyes, face glowing with maternal pride, “He is only 6 days old and I can already tell that he’s going to be so stupid!”

half the fun of tea is getting to hold the warm mug

I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver