Same. Coffee and alcohol blech. But tea is nectar of the gods.

Phantom of the Opera: A speculative fiction about what would happen if Benedict Cumberbatch were a woman and his fans had access to a basement. Hamilton: The best friend of an ambitious political dissident warns him repeatedly that his actions will end in tragedy. When that doesn’t actually happen, the best friend takes it upon himself to teach a valuable life lesson.

Jesus Christ Superstar: The best friend of an ambitious political dissident warns him repeatedly that his actions will end in tragedy. When that doesn’t actually happen, the best friend takes it upon himself to teach a valuable life lesson.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat: Tim Gunn was sick today on Project Runway. Let’s see what happens!

Miss Saigon: White savior done fucked up. No one is surprised. The Scarlet Pimpernel: Proto-superhero pretends to be gay. Wife is understandably miffed when she discovers she won’t be getting the D. Hilarity ensues. The Lion King:  A Shakespearean look at a pride of liMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSAAAAAWENYAAAAAAMAAKALAKIIIIIIIIIIIISSHUENOOONOOOOOOO

Chicago: He really did have it coming. Cabaret: A Conservative Republican’s worst nightmare is set to music.

Cats: Furries provide a fun-filled look into an average night out.

Rent: All these people are going to die the minute you leave the theater.

Avenue Q: Today on Sesame Street, we learn an important lesson about the purpose of the internet. The word of the day is ANAL. 

Les Miserables: A man steals a loaf of bread and is chased across France by the most dedicated police officer on the force. Consequently, everyone dies.

My Fair Lady: A valuable life lesson is taught: if you want to make it in life, all you need to do is sacrifice everything, suffer torment from an obsessive linguistics major, and fake an upper-class English accent. Unless you’re a man, and then you just need to explain that you really need money for alcohol. In that case, someone will promptly die and will you their fortune.

How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying: A young man attempts to push the boundaries of white male privilege. He soon finds there are none.

There’s a betting pool going on who takes Luke’s virginity. The favourites are Han and Leia, but Wedge Antilles has pretty good odds, and there’s a small contingent of aliens who are convinced it will be Chewie (after all, who could resist that Wookie musk? Headcanon: most alien races consider humans soft and gross. Most alien races find Wookies absurdly attractive. Han Solo isn’t the ladykiller; Chewie is.)

Leia and Han scream at each other in every corner of the base. Everyone is desperate for them to fuck. They do not. The sexual tension is so thick that it could be cut into blocks and sold as wall insulation. More than once they are ‘accidentally’ locked in a supply cupboard in the vain hope that claustrophobia will act as the catalyst that enables their frustration to spark into true love – or at least nasty raunchy cupboard sex. It does not. All that happens is that the offender has legally changed their name to escape the Wrath of Organa. 

Someone paints a shirtless Han Solo on their X Wing. Leia is furious. Han is delighted: both at the highly flattering portrait (he has an eight-pack, he is shredded) and at Leia’s fury (you’re jealous princess/no I am not/you’re jealous, hey I can pose like that for you if you –). Hoth’s winter had nothing on the chilly silence that followed that suggestion. 

Luke and Leia both have very graphic dreams about Han Solo. Han Solo has very graphic dreams about the twins –  individually, together, he’s thirty fucking years old, why is his brain doing this to him.(Later on they will, individually, realise that due to Luke and Leia’s Force-bond they probably created a circle of Han Solo Sex Dreams: Leia had them, so Luke sensed her lust for Han which intensified his own lust for Han, which led to Luke having Han Solo sex dreams, which led to Leia lusting – and so on, and so on. For the sake of their sanity, they never share this revelation which each other.)

Luke is SO COLD. All the time. WHY DOES NO ONE APPRECIATE HOW COLD HE IS. He comes from a desert world. Of course he’s cold! What is all this white stuff? It was pretty for the first fve seconds but holy fucking Force it is so cold it burns and what the hell is going on with that? He bundles himself up in so many layers that he waddles rather than walks. Fearsome Last of the Jedi indeed.

I am torn between wanting Stabby to be grabbed and evacuated along with the Rebels and make it to the next base, and wanting Stabby to get Vader.

Compromise: shortly after losing the Millennium Falcon, Vader, storming through the Rebel base, is startled to feel a sudden jolt of pain from the artificial sensors on his left leg prosthetic: a sharp sensation on his ankle. Surprised, because he sensed no threat–is the limb malfunctioning?–he looks down, and there is a cleaning droid with a knife taped to it, a little painted-on Rebel lieutenant’s insignia, and the word STABBY written on it.

He stares down at it, completely and utterly taken aback for the first time in over a decade. Fearlessly, it chitters back at him, sounding very triumphant.

He picks it up.

Off in the fractal weirdness of hyperspace, Rebels on several ships are surprised to find an update on Stabby’s kill-update feed, and then thoroughly shocked at the accompanying image: the upward-pointing camera has captured an image of Darth Vader staring down at the droid.

It’s the fastest news ever to travel through the Rebel grapevine, the mix of triumph and loss that is, they are certain, Stabby’s heroic last stand.

Until a day later, when the thing updates again, this time showing an extremely confused Imperial officer. And another, and another, and another, day after day.

They cancel the funeral.

the greatest romance in this story is between me and semicolons • if you kids are looking for porn it’s in chapter 16

Featured Fic: Be My Teenage Dream Tonight by @gingerfic

Summary: Kurt has his soulmate’s name written on his wrist, but rather than making things clear, it’s making them more confusing than ever. 

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 20 to 50K

Additional Trope: Dalton Klaine

Craving more Soulmate Klaine fics? Here are all the Soulmate Klaine fics we’ve added to the index so far: https://sites.google.com/site/klainefic/home/soulmate

Featured Fic: Be My Teenage Dream Tonight by @gingerfic

Summary: Kurt has his soulmate’s name written on his wrist, but rather than making things clear, it’s making them more confusing than ever. 

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 20 to 50K

Additional Trope: Dalton Klaine

Craving more Soulmate Klaine fics? Here are all the Soulmate Klaine fics we’ve added to the index so far: https://sites.google.com/site/klainefic/home/soulmate

Featured Fic: Catalysis by @nadiacreek

Summary: Kurt Hummel chose his soulmate too early. Blaine Anderson thought he’d never have a chance to choose one at all.

Rating: Mature

Word Count: Over 100K

Additional Tropes: Teacher Blaine, Single Father Kurt

Craving more Soulmate Klaine fics? Here are all the Soulmate Klaine fics we’ve added to the index so far: https://sites.google.com/site/klainefic/home/soulmate

Title: A Marvelous Work and a Wonder

Author: wowbright

Artist: @mypopculturesummer

Betas: @jazzypizzaz, @redheadgleek, @nadiacreek, @gingerbeebee, @snarkyhag, @chiasmuslovesme

Word count: ~32,000

Rating: PG/preteen and up

Fandoms: Glee, with a tip o’ the hat to The District (BYU TV) [no need to have seen it]

Pairing: Klaine, pre-romantic

Warnings: religion, proselytizing, internalized homophobia, microaggressions galore, and absolutely no kissing, no confessions of love, no like seriously they do not fall in love and get married in this fic

Summary: As a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons), Kurt Hummel can easily ignore the fact that he’s gay. The other missionaries have boorish habits that make them totally unappealing to Kurt’s romantic sensibilities. But three months before the end of Kurt’s post-high-school missionary service, the higher-ups assign Kurt to live and work with a new companion: the kind, charming, and devastatingly handsome Blaine Anderson. This is the story of their first day working together.

My Blaine Anderson Big Bang story is finally here!!!

Title: I Kissed a Girl

Author: gingerfic

Posted on: AO3; 30,128 words

Rated: T

Summary: Once at a high school party Blaine Anderson kissed a girl…and he liked it. A short time later he kissed a boy, and he liked that too. He fell in love with that boy and they were happy together for almost two years.  But when that boy left for college they decided that it would be best to break up.  But being comfortable with his bisexuality may be the simplest part of Blaine’s senior year, as he wades back into the world of dating, navigates new kinds of friendships, and tries to figure out what it means to become an adult. An alternate version of Blaine Anderson’s senior year, incorporating many events from seasons 4 and 5a but making them…Blanier.

Author: gingerfic

Beta: flowerfan

Artist: goldenslumbr

Read it on AO3

Word count: 31,031

Rating: T

Summary: After Kurt graduated from high school he left behind his family and friends to take his chances with the big city. Big dreams and sheer gutsiness were always enough to get him through in Lima, but this is New York City, and he’s going to have to up his game. Will he be able to find a path to his dreams? Opportunities and relationships will bring him to the edge more than once, but what he learns and what he chooses may surprise everyone, including himself. (Almost) canon-compliant through season 3; an alternate version of Kurt’s first year in NYC, and what he found there. A companion story to “I Kissed a Girl” Written for the Kurt Hummel Big Bang 2016

Warnings: canonical death of Finn Hudson

Author’s note: This is a companion piece to “I Kissed a Girl,” which follows Blaine through his senior year. I hope you’ll read that one first, but if you choose not to, here are the things you need to know: it closely follows canon except that Blaine is bisexual; Kurt and Blaine still started dating at the same time, and this story begins in the summer after Kurt graduates from high school.

Tentacles • But sadly no smut • Humor • Domestic Tentacles