cringe but free

Martyn: I got very, very drunk on the Monday. Like, really, really drunk. Um. But like, I was fine, I wasn't going to be sick or anything, I was just really happy, really drunk, and just like. Feeling proper silly goofy, also very proud and stuff like that. And then, I walk into the right most elevator, for the first time, and I see this. (holds up his phone which is displaying a sliding picture scramble puzzle) This is on the wall of the elevator. It is a sliding puzzle. And I was like, "oh my god, I'm gonna do it. I'm-I'm gonna make this--I'm gonna do this puzzle, at some point during my time here." And I come back downstairs--I think I popped up to grab something from upstairs and came back down and was like, "guys, you're not gonna believe it, one of the elevators has a puzzle."

Martyn: Immediately, Timmy and Oli and those lot are like--like, "I'm just gonna ruin it. Every time you're trying to do it, if you're trying to do it slowly over the course of the next two days, I'm gonna ruin it." I was like, "you, you fuck, you fuck." Um. So basically, it began a saga. And...this is how much I managed to do at the end of the evening, before going up to the bed. The center was all done, the side pieces all in the wrong places. And I was like, "oh, man, I got really really close to that."

Martyn: So I sent my progress, and I can't remember what somebody said, but they were like, "ah, well, I'm just gonna mess it up in the morning." And I was like, "no you're fucking not, no you're fucking not." I literally got dressed again, I left my room, still completely shitfaced, and I got to the-go to the elevator, um, and I finish--I finish the goddamn puzzle. I'm-I'm in there, in the elevator, finishing this puzzle--there are people getting in and out of the lift, they're coming in from nights out--some of them went to go see a hockey game, they're coming in, and there's just this British guy, going at it on the puzzle, well chuffed with myself. Finished the puzzle.

Martyn: Until I get a message, uh, in the group chat, after sending that with a lot of pride to Pearl, who was like, "don't know how to tell you this, bud. You didn't finish it." Because, look. That's-that's got no point on it, that's there--it's not finished. It's not done. Pearl pointed it out, she's like, "I'm really sorry bud but no." And I was like, "oh, no."

Martyn: So, I get dressed again. I go back down to the lobby, I fill up my water, back in the elevator. I have to wait for numerous people to come in and out to get inside of it, and I get started. I start doing this puzzle, and I am like, just like tryin' to--tryin' to just make heads and tail of it. I've realized now that I've gotta move half the pieces to one end of the board and half to the other. I'm literally in this elevator, I swear to god, for maybe twenty-five minutes trying to figure this all out.

Martyn: (reading chat) "Is there a camera in the lift?" Probably, and I bet security were watching me the whole time thinking, "what the hell is he doing?" So I'm in there, and I'm doing it, and literally--for, for a while, the-the elevator stays in the lobby--what time did I take this picture?--this isn't like, half eleven at night, and I'm there just like, going for it, and like, thinking I'm in my flow state, I'm not, I'm an idiot. And then all of a sudden I hear th-the door open, (through a laugh) without-without a moment of hesitation, I just stop for a moment, I just go, "welcome to the puzzle." And I just carry on doing it. And this person, just like, stays in the elevator with me, um. And ends up joining in! Ends up joining in. Decides to help me out. I was like, "you legend!" So they're helping me out, there's two of us working on this thing, and all they did was help with one piece to get it from one side to the other, fucking going for it, going for ages. Like, the elevator goes up, they stay in the elevator with me, I was like, "oh, I thought they were going to get off at this floor, they didn't."

Martyn: This girl gets in on the elevator, and she's chatting away, and she's like, "oh my god, babe, that puzzle that I told you about, there's just a guy doing it here." And then like, she then gets down to the lobby, gets out, another guy gets in, and again, "welcome to the puzzle," and then this guy--so there's me, that lady, and uh, and the guy in the elevator, and I'm there, and I'm like, seeing shapes and doing algorithms, and like, trigonometry is all flying and throwing through my vision, I'm putting it all together. Eventually I finish it. At this point there's three of us stood in an elevator, two of them just watching this very drunken, bleary British man do this puzzle, and then that's when, uh, I completed it. Look at that, look at how happy this boy is. That's a happy boy right there. He finished the puzzle. The blank piece is in the top left corner, no gravity dictating it. With the help of a friend and another stranger, it was done.