Collection Of Nightmares

She loved to play between cases, and you played anytime you got home from work to remind you there was a life outside of your job. You didn’t see murder and death in the same way that Penelope did, but you had your fair share of horrible things that clung to you. Being in the child welfare system for five years had taken its toll on you, but you were determined to stay in it till you felt like you were accomplished. However, it was becoming a little murky on what it would look like to be accomplished. So you sank into a world where people didn’t need you, and you could be someone else entirely. It was an open-world adventure game that allowed you to cross paths with Penelope multiple times. You had teamed up for a couple of adventures, and then, when it was clear both of you were enamored of the game, you became regular duo partners. It allowed y’all to spend hours together. 

As the weeks passed by, Penelope’s work unraveled around her, and she was unable to play as much as she wanted. She didn’t want you to think that she was standing you up, so she messaged you her number so that you could text her outside of the game. It had taken a little courage and polite prodding from a friend, but eventually you texted her. 

You expect a text back, but instead it is a FaceTime call. You had only talked to her over voice chat before and didn’t know what she looked like in real life, and it was only because your friend swiped the answer button that you actually answered. Penelope’s smile immediately filled the screen, and you were captured by her blonde hair and pops of color. She was so similar to her virtual character. It didn’t take you long to realize that you wanted to know everything there was to know about this woman who was behind the screen. All you could do was hope that she was just as amazing in real life as she was in her virtual life.

That first phone call bled into weeks of texting and FaceTime dates. The game wasn’t important now because the only person who mattered was on the phone with you every day. You would have your phone propped up with Penelope on the screen any time that you could. She was there in between meetings at work, on the drive home, while you were making dinner, before you went to bed, and sometimes even after you went to sleep. She was the one constant in your life that you had begun to rely on. 

It was a dream until three months into phone talking, when you accidentally slipped up. One of your coworkers had slipped into your office to get your order for lunch when they locked eyes with Penelope. They asked who she was, and you said she was your girlfriend without even thinking about it. Honestly, you had been thinking about asking her for weeks but didn’t want it to seem weird, so you had pushed it aside. Now, as you sat there with red cheeks, you realized that Penelope had stopped what she was working on entirely. 

When your coworker had left, you had been too embarrassed to look at the blonde. Instead, you mumbled an apology under your breath. 

“Oh sweet pea,” Penelope said in a soft hum that had you looking up at her. “You can make it up to me by officially asking me out.” 

You grinned at the excitement that was already written across her face. “Beautiful, smart, amazing, glorious Penelope Garcia, will you be my girlfriend…officially?”

“Yes! Of course, yes!” Penelope squealed, practically bouncing out of her seat. “I have to go tell Derek! Stay on the line.”

There were butterflies in your stomach as she ran off to talk to her best friend. It was nervousness that you were feeling, just the excitement of feeling like something was finally going right in your life.

Later that night, you were still humming with excitement, but Penelope looked like she was drained. The case she was working on was particularly awful, and she had been more on edge than ever. She was typically never the one to ask to fall asleep on the phone, opting to stay up long after you had already fallen asleep. However, today she asked if you would stay on the line with her to keep her bad dreams away. 

The request had taken you off guard, but you willingly accepted. It was a small piece of comfort that you could offer Penelope when separated by hundreds of miles. You watched over her as she curled under the covers, holding the stuffed animal unicorn Derek had bought her. She was so cute with her blonde hair cascading over the pink covers, and you wished desperately that you were there to hold her while she fell asleep. Instead, after a couple of moments, you watched her drift into dreamland. 

You knew then that you had to find a way to see Penelope. The chance didn't arise till two months later, when you had scheduled a week away to spend with her. You were excited to finally be able to see her in person, to hold her, to kiss her, to be around the woman you were falling in love with. There was just one thing that made you extra anxious: you didn't tell her you were coming. You had been working with Emily and Derek to put together this surprise, and now that it was here, you were regretting it. They promised you that Penelope would love it, but you still worried about the execution. 

You sat on your final FaceTime trying to talk to Penelope before what she thought was a day full of court hearings that would keep you away from the phone. In reality, your bag was packed by the door, and your ride was approaching to whisk you away. 

“I wish I could teleport you here,” Penelope whispered, setting up her computer for the day. “I could really use a hug.”

The admission hung heavy in the air, and for the first time since you had met Penelope, you saw her frown. Your heart ached for her, and you almost blew your secret right there.  Instead, you gave her a hint, hoping she would put together the pieces.

“Why don't you make a list of all the things you want to see or do when I visit? That when I do come over, we will be prepared.”

Penelope smiled at the thought but then admitted, “I think all I really want to do is hug you.”

“Then I will give you all the hugs your heart desires, hun,” you reassured her. 

Penelope’s face brightens even more now that she has a mission to focus on in your absence. “I hope you are prepared for how many hugs that truly is.” 

“I'm prepared,” you grinned, but then your alarm sounded, letting you know it was time to leave. “Alright, I have to go, babe, but we will talk soon, okay? Stay beautiful while I'm gone.”

“Always,” Penelope said, and then within seconds she was gone.

You grabbed your suitcase from beside the door and got into the car. Your friend drove you to the airport, and there was a moment when you approached security that you still debated texting Penelope about what was happening. You called Derek instead, who promised that he would be there to pick you up on time. 

The plane worked until you got delayed, and soon your day trip turned into an overnight trip. You couldn't risk talking to Penelope that night, fearing that she would figure out you were in Chicago for a layover. So instead, you sent her a text that it had been a long day and you were going right to bed. You spent the night alone, worried that you had epically fucked up. 

-~-

The next morning, the whole squad was on edge, waiting for you to come meet Penelope. She was on edge all morning with dark rings under her normally perky eyes. She hadn't been able to sleep all night. The blonde had begun to rely on seeing you in the middle of the night to keep her nightmares at bay. When you had asked for space, Penelope’s mind flicked through the worst scenarios all night. She had been looking forward to telling Derek what was going on and getting his opinion, but he was gone. When it was clear he wasn't going to be around soon, Penelope had sought out Emily, but that comfort had been less than helpful. To top off the day, Penelope spilled her coffee all over the break room and chipped the edge of her favorite mug. It was shaping up to be a horrible day. 

Penelope had just started to force herself to work when there was a knock on the door. Penelope didn't even look up, content to ignore whoever had come.  Derek attempted to call out to her. “Hey baby girl, I heard you had a rough night.”

“That’s what happens when my girlfriend goes completely AWOL after asking you to plan a trip for her to come out. She didn't even call to say goodnight, so maybe she doesn’t want to see me after all,” Penelope sighed, tears welling in her eyes. “I can't sleep without her, Derek. Now, what if she doesn't want to be around me at all?”

“How about a hug, baby girl? Those always make you feel better.”

Penelope shook her head, trying not to cry. “Not now, I'll be okay.”

“What about a hug from me? Would that make up for my absence?” you asked, replacing Derek’s spot in the doorway. “I believe I was supposed to give you all the hugs that you could ever ask for.”

Penelope swiveled in her chair, nearly topping over as she tossed her headset. Her eyes were wide when she finally looked at you. You hadn't had the time to change or shower like you wanted. You were still in sweatpants and a dingy cardigan pulled around an old t-shirt. Your hair was pulled up in a messy bun with sunglasses high on your head. You opened your arms slowly, trying to gauge Penelope’s reaction.

“Am I dreaming? Is that really you?” Penelope asked, her voice shaking. 

“Yes, it’s really me. Surprise.”

Penelope rushes into your arms, then nearly topples you over. You catch your footing just in time to wrap your arms tightly around her waist. Her hands clutched in the back of your shirt with her head settling against the crook of your neck. Immediately, you were overwhelmed with her strong lavender perfume. It was exactly the way that you had imagined Penelope to smell, and it instantly calmed your nerves. You turned your head just enough to give her a small kiss on the forehead when you noticed she was crying.

“Sunshine, why are you crying?” You asked, alarmed, moving back just enough to wipe some tears off her cheek. “I’m so sorry, I should have told you that I was coming. I thought you would like the surprise, but maybe I was wrong.”

“Oh, that’s not it at all,” Penelope reassures you with a wobbly smile. “I just can’t believe that this is real. You are actually here, holding me and smiling at me. My baby is here.”

You grinned so much that a small dimple began to show. “Well, you better believe it, Pen; I’m really here and staying for a while.”

Instead of being curled against you, she lies sprawled face down on her belly. One arm is tucked under the pillow while the other one clutches the sheets. A clump of red curls sticks to her face, and without thinking, you move to brush it behind her ear.

Melissa doesn't move, just smiles in her sleep as her body chases your touch. You let your fingers trace the soft outline of her jaw before you pull away. The movement feels too intimate for a situation you know you shouldn't be in. You had given Melissa the chance to have this with you, and she had chosen Captain Robinson. It was up to you to respect that choice.

You peel back the covers slowly, trying not to wake her up. You knew you wouldn’t be strong enough to leave Melissa if she were awake. This is something that you need to do quietly and with a little bit of shame. You appease this shame slightly by leaving a glass of water next to a bottle of pain reliever on her nightstand. Right before you leave, you lean down to place a kiss on her forehead.

Your lips burn and mingle with memories of the previous night, your entire drive home. You knew you were right in stopping the kiss. Melissa had been intoxicated, with probably no idea what she had revealed to you. But it didn’t stop you from wondering if she really meant it.

It’s the only thing that you can think about as you redownload Tinder and fill your profile with half-truths. It’s a watered-down version of yourself, but it’s what you can stomach, random strangers knowing. No one knows who you truly are anymore. You had given that to Melissa, and she still had chosen someone else.

-~-

Melissa wakes up to her phone ringing. She groans, blindly reaching for it. Her head peels off the pillows for a couple of seconds to see who is calling. Robinson 🚒is what she is greeted with. Melissa rolls her eyes, silencing the call.

The night comes back in bits and pieces. She fought with Robinson over the same old shit, but this time it had turned aggressive. He didn't hit her like her ex husband, but the thought had been there. Melissa had become acutely aware of the signs that let her know she was in danger. The clench of a fist, the widening of the pupils, the way hair stands up on the forearm. He had all of the signs but hadn't swung. Part of her wanted him to swing. It would have given her a reason to leave.

Instead she left before he had the chance to change his mind. It had taken her twenty minutes to walk to the bar, but it didn't matter. It had given her the space to breathe and decide what to do. Well, mostly to act as a reminder that she can't call you.

She knew it wasn't fair that she kept you right on the edge of what you both wanted. Yet she couldn't let you go or push herself off the cliff. She kept herself in the balance that was slowly killing her. Well, not as bad as this headache was currently. She grabs for the glass of water, shakily opening the bottle of pills, before downing a handful. She doesn't know how they got there, but she is grateful for the peace before she drifts back off to sleep.

-~-

“Girl, I thought you got off Tinder,” Ava scoffs as she steals your phone from you on Monday morning as you gather your mail.

You shrug. “I needed the distraction.”

“Distraction from little Red Riding Hood that you can't seem to get over?” Ava says with a wiggle of her brows.

“I actually hate that you call her that,” you sigh, attempting to steal back your phone. Ava holds it just out of reach. “If I tell you a secret, will you give me my damn phone back?”

Ava twirls your phone lightly in her hand while debating your offer for a moment before finally relenting. She gives you a small nod, and you tell your best friend an abbreviated story about how Melissa had kissed you that weekend. You play it off as Melissa being drunk and having no idea what was going on, but Ava reads through the lines. She sees the way your eyes light up when you talk about it. She doesn’t need the full story to know that this isn’t good.

Falling for Melissa in the beginning is something that she could get behind. Seeing you continue to break your heart over a woman who didn’t want to choose you, that was something she couldn’t allow. If Melissa wasn’t going to change her mind, she was going to change yours.

“If I can’t keep your phone, can I at least get your Tinder login?” Ava asks when she finally hands it back over.

You raise an eyebrow at her. “You know that you have a partner, right?”

“And she is great, I’m doing this for you,” Ava says, leveling you with a stare. “You have to work all day and will miss out on prime swiping time.” When you hesitate, she adds. “The best way to get over Red is to get under someone else, boo.”

“Fine,” you relent and just hand your phone back to Ava. “I’m not risking your MMA girlfriend kicking my ass because you have Tinder on your phone. Just use mine. But don’t scroll through my pictures and don’t text anyone.”

Ava grins triumphantly, and you gather your things to head to your classroom before you can change your mind. This will either go brilliantly, or Ava will have given away half of your personal information by lunch. There truly was no way to tell.

What you didn’t notice in your hasty exit was Melissa entering the school and how her eyes already scanned for where you were. Ava noticed, though, and stepped in her line of vision so that she couldn’t tell that you had already disappeared.

“Schemmenti, if you aren’t ready to admit that you made a mistake dating that fuckwad then you need to stay away from her,” Ava says bluntly as she slips your phone into her pocket.

“Ava, it is too early for this shit,” Melissa grumbles, trying to peek around the younger woman’s shoulder.

Ava moves over to cut off her sight once again. “You kissed her, and it got her hopes up again. I just got her to accept that you were never gonna leave that waste of space, and now you are fucking with her head again. “

Melissa freezes at the comment, and for the first time all weekend, she remembers the kiss. It is like she is sucked back to her bedroom, where her drunken stupor had finally given a voice to her biggest secret. I like you…and I really want to fucking kiss you.

She had wondered how she had gotten home that night and had finally decided she must have gotten a ride from a cab. But no, this whole time it had been you. It hadn't been a dream that she was kissing you, it had been the truth. She bites down on her lip trying to figure out what to do.

“Either shape up or ship out,” Ava says, finally stepping out of Melissa’s way to let her pass as the first bell rings.

~-~

Melissa doesn't have a chance to talk to you until lunch. She arrives early to try and catch you by yourself but you are the last one to arrive.

You throw your bag at the seat across from her and Barbara sighing heavily as you sit down. Melissa’s hand clenches around her fork as she forces herself not to reach across the table to brush away an unruly curl that has fallen out of your ponytail.

“Darling, you look exhausted already. What have those kids been doing to you?” Barbara asks, grabbing your water bottle before it spills over.

“Teaching English is hard enough, but now with the class projects I'm grouped with Morton.” You glare daggers at Jacob. “Because someone can't admit they are in an enemies to lovers arc.”

“That is not what is happening!” Jacob yells and Melissa hears you physically growl.

“Here, this might help you feel better,” the redhead soothes, pushing some food in your direction.

She’ll never admit it but Melissa has taken to packing extra food for you every day. You never ask but she always makes sure you eat enough.

“Thank you,” you smile but there is a shyness to it that makes Melissa pause.

She thinks about asking about the kiss right there not giving a shit who hears her. She wants you to know that it was real. She meant the things she said but before she gets the chance Ava bursts into the room.

“Girl! I found the perfect date for you. I didn't even have to us Tinder,” Ava exclaims and Melissa watches as your cheeks instantly burn red.

“You don't have to announce to the world I'm on Tinder,” you groan.

“You'll understand in a second,” Ava grins turning the phone.

There is a redhead looking back at you with a teasing smile that makes your breath catch. She is gorgeous and your stomach flutters when she laughs. That is also when you realize Ava has handed you a Facetime.

“Hi sweetheart,” the woman smiles. “You'll have to excuse some of Ava’s behavior. I wanted to get to know you after my last match and finally the opportunity has arrived.”

It is then that you remember where you have seen this before. Another notorious MMA fighter that Ava has been trying to introduce you to for weeks. You smile, your body settling for a moment.

“Wanda, please tell me she hasn't been embarrassing me.”

Wanda laughs again making your heart flutter. “No, she has been hyping you up but I wanted to hear more about you from you.”

“Well let me get back to my classroom and then I have about twenty minutes,” you grin, gathering your things and then heading out the door.

You don't grab the food Melissa left you or notice the way her eyes follow you out of the room. Barbara notices how her work wife's nails dig into her palm.

“Melissa,” she whispers softly. “Are you okay?”

“No,” Melissa admits as Barbara gently reaches for her hand. “I'm an idiot.”

-

Taglist

When Olivia was done getting ready, she would kiss Ella goodbye and head to work. It was never an easy process, and Olivia always felt like a piece of her heart was being left behind. This ache is lessened throughout the day when she receives pictures of Ella from Megan. It always would make her smile on a particularly rough day. She would share these photos with Cragen, too, just to see him grin from ear to ear. 

When it was warm enough outside for Ella to be bundled up in her winter coat, which made her look like a fluffy teddy bear, Megan would walk from the apartment to the precinct. She always came with lunch and would often drop off treats and other gifts for the squad. It was Munch who fell in love with Megan first, always stealing handfuls of cookies and falling into debates with her over trivial things. They could go on for what felt like hours, but Olivia would just hold Ella in her lap until she fell asleep. When Megan finally won against Munch, she would take Ella home and prepare for the rest of the evening. 

The consistency of the routine became a comfort to Olivia more than she realized. When she came home, Megan would have a small dinner ready for the two of them. On the days when work was pure chaos, Megan would always have Olivia’s dinner ready to warm up in the oven. Any time that Olivia would get called away in the middle of the night, Megan would pad across the hallway in her pajamas, taking residence on the couch, always there when Ella would wake up. It was in these simple moments that Olivia felt like she finally had the mother that she had always dreamed about growing up.

This was a fact that she was reminded of on her birthday when her birth mother, Serena, made a dinner reservation for the two of them. Olivia couldn’t remember a time that she had actually liked her birthday, and she didn’t need her mother reminding her that this ranked in the top two in the worst days of Serena’s life. 

She paces the living room for hours, trying to figure out how to get out of this, until Megan finally stops her. 

“Olivia, are you doing all of this pacing over a man? If so, they definitely aren't worth the time or effort,” the older woman reminds Olivia as she rocks Ella to sleep. 

Olivia pauses her movements to let out a small laugh. “I would much rather be concerned with a man right now.” She lets out a large sigh. “I'm actually worried about seeing my mother tonight.”

Megan’s lips curl into an O as she takes in the information. Olivia had never talked about her mother or father. It had left Megan thinking that they were dead. She tries to smooth out her features before responding.

“Oh, why don't you bring Ella with you then? I'm sure your mother would love to spend some time with her.”

“No,” Olivia says sharply and then sighs. “I'm sorry. Let me explain. My mother doesn't know about Ella. We had a falling out before I joined the police academy, and we haven't really talked since.”

“I see,” Megan murmurs, giving Olivia the space to talk more. 

Olivia walks over to Ella, caressing her cheek gently. “I don't need my mom judging how Ella was conceived or the choices I made after. It’s easier and safer this way.”

There is so much she leaves unsaid. She could tell Megan about how her mother used to emotionally manipulate her as a child. She could talk about the way that wine bottles used to litter the floor when she was growing up. She could explain how her mother made her feel trapped in her own skin. She could say so many things, but she doesn't, and the weight of releasing it all might completely unravel her. 

Megan nods, allowing Olivia to keep the unspeakable things bottled up. She merely places a comforting hand on the younger woman’s shoulder. “Be safe, Liv…and by the way, happy birthday.”

Olivia smiles, looking at the older woman curiously. “Who told you?”

“Cragen,” Megan says with a shrug. “He told me not to make a big deal out of it, but thought that I should know. I made you a cake and put it in the fridge. So go try and have a good time, and when you come back, we can cut into it.”

Olivia concedes defeat in having to go but offers to put Ella in her crib before she leaves. She studies her sleeping daughter for a moment, trying to memorize every little feature on her face. There was a point where she would have been terrified of being her mother, but Ella wouldn't know the same pain Olivia did. Ella would be loved no matter what, even if her list of potential fathers was becoming more complicated the more Olivia thought about it. 

Olivia arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes later, where three empty glasses already occupied the table. As she approached her mother, another drink was placed in front of her. Olivia braced herself for what was about to come. 

“Hi, Mom,” Olivia says as she pulls out her chair.

“Oh, there is that daughter of mine. Has it really been a year since I last saw you?” Serena asks, her words slurring together. 

“Yes,” Olivia murmurs, trying not to remember what happened the last time they had met. It had ended up in a screaming match, with her falling into bed with the last person she should have been with.

“Still a prude about alcohol, I see,” Serena says, nodding towards the glass of water Olivia ordered.

Olivia wouldn't call it being a prude; she did enjoy alcohol. She just learned how to enjoy it in moderation, far away from her mother. Plus, she was still breastfeeding Ella, so it was completely out of the question. That was just something she wasn't going to explain. 

“Just wanted water today,” Olivia says softly.

Her mother scoffs, rolling her eyes before asking, “What have you been up to over the last year?”

Olivia smiles, then excitedly talks about what she has accomplished. “I'm off probationary period at work, and now I'm officially a detective for the Special Victims Unit.”

Serena’s reaction turns everything in Olivia’s stomach sour. “I told you to let that whole idea go. You are letting that bastard and people like him control your life.”

Olivia feels the rage boil over before she can stop it. “I'm not letting anyone control me. I'm trying to help women like you. Can't you understand that? I can't stand what he did to you, and I want to make people like him pay.”

“It’s pointless, Olivia. He is gone, and you need to get over yourself,” Serena snips, drowning the rest of her drink before slamming it on the table. “I don't even know how they let you become a detective. You look gigantic compared to when I last saw you.”

Olivia struggles to bite back her retort. Serena isn't wrong necessarily. Olivia is still holding some of the baby weight from Ella and has been working to find a new workout routine. It was hard with a chaotic work schedule and a newborn. However, even with her added curves, it didn't mean that Serena had the right to treat her like this. 

She stood up, slamming a twenty-dollar bill on the table. Her eyes glare daggers at her mother. “I have a little added weight because I was pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. You will never know her, and she will never know of you. From this day on, you are dead to me.”

Olivia turns away before Serena can respond and goes back to the family that actually cares about her. Back at her apartment, she finds Megan still awake, watching her usual shows. Her eyes instantly grow concerned the more she looks at Olivia.

“That was quick. Did everything go okay, sweetheart?”

It’s not the nickname that catches Liv off guard; it's the way that it is used. The way that it wraps around Olivia like a warm hug. It’s the concern for her well-being from another person that she has never felt before. 

Olivia is so overwhelmed by the emotion that she doesn’t respond with words, merely plops down on the couch next to Megan and begins to cry. Megan wraps her arms around the younger woman to pull her in close. She rocks Olivia back and forth gently until the crying eventually stops.

When Olivia finally pulls away, Megan moves to wipe tears from Olivia’s cheeks. “What happened, sweetheart?”

“I should have never gone. You have been more of a mother to me in one month than Serena has been in my whole life,” Olivia says as more tears slide down her face.

“Oh, honey,” Megan sighs. “Lay your head on my lap and let’s relax for a moment.”

Olivia moves to put her head on the pillow that Megan puts on her lap. Megan runs her hands through Olivia’s hair gently. They sit in silence for a while while Olivia calms herself down.

“Honey, I may not have been in your life when you needed it, but I'm here now. I'm always going to be here for you, okay?” She brushes away more of Olivia’s tears. “I don't know what happened between that woman and you, but I know what came after. You turned out to be an amazing woman who is an amazing mother. That is something to be proud of. And as long as you need me, I'll be here. Mama’s got you now.”

“Promise?” Olivia asks in a childlike whisper.

“I promise my sweet girl,” Megan reassures her, kissing her forehead.

Olivia’s next question makes Megan laugh. “Did you really make cake?”

“Yes, and we will have it for breakfast tomorrow. Now get some sleep.”

Olivia nods, turning her attention towards the TV. Within moments, she is fast asleep in Megan’s lap. Megan pulls the blanket tighter around Olivia and keeps watch until sleep pulls her under as well. 

Five Months (Mar)

The shift to having Megan as a full-time mother was not a surprise to anyone in the precinct. It was merely the next progression of their relationship. The only person who seemed to question the relationship with Elliot. 

He had gathered enough snippets in his partnership with Olivia to know that her mother was toxic. Cutting Serena off was not the thing that Elliot worried about. He had noticed a shift in Olivia the moment Megan came into her life. Olivia began to rely on Megan to bring her comfort instead of him, and it was bugging him more than he wanted to admit. He wasn't the only one uneasy, either.

This was made apparent when Megan was left alone with him. He was alone in the break room when she decided to make her move. 

“So you are the partner Ella is named after,” She says with a slight bitterness to her tone.

Elliot turns toward her, clutching his mug. “That would be me.”

“And you have a wife and four kids?”

Elliot raises his eyebrow at the audacity of the older woman. “Last time I checked, yes.”

“You should keep it that way,” Megan says before reaching around him to make her own coffee. 

“What are you implying, Megan?”

“I see the way you look at my daughter. I'm old, not stupid,” she snips. “You’re one of the most important people in her life, and we both know that isn't a position she gives to just anyone. Yet you can’t leave well enough alone.”

Elliot attempts to speak, but Megan cuts him off again. “You practically undress her with your eyes, but she isn't yours to have or claim. You have a wife. You have kids.” She glares at him. “If you really loved Olivia, you would know she can't accept half love. She needs someone who will be there for her and Ella unconditionally. You already have a family who demands that.”

She goes to leave, turning towards him. “Be her partner. Be her best friend. Or leave her alone. It’s better for everyone that way.”

Elliot is left staring after her as she returns to the bullpen. With one simple motion, Megan wraps one arm around Olivia’s shoulder and gives an adoring smile at Ella. It was a heartwarming moment between the tiny family. It made Elliot’s heart twist because, after all, Olivia did deserve better than he was able to give.

Six Months (Apr)

When spring finally reached New York City, it was apparent in the way flowers dotted every corner, and all the trees in Central Park were in full bloom. There were some cold days, but they were getting warmer every time. This warm weather allowed Olivia to find Ella and Megan in the park for lunch. 

They would find a spot full of trees that was a little separated from the rest of the crowd. A blanket would get laid out, and Olivia would sit with Ella doing anything possible to make her laugh. Olivia and Megan would laugh extra hard when Ella would finally get herself into a sitting position. The movement would only last a couple of moments before she would fall back onto her belly. 

After a particularly bad spill, Olivia would scoop Ella up before tears could start. Ella would always wrap her hand around the collar of Olivia’s shirt. If the tears still came, Olivia would blow raspberry kisses on her belly, making her laugh again. This went on until lunchtime was over, and Olivia had to go back to work. Olivia would always leave with a kiss on Megan’s cheek and one on Ella’s forehead. 

On the days that Olivia couldn’t step away for their normal park routine, Megan would leave food on Olivia’s desk before returning home. It was a simple thing, but also the only reason that Olivia would eat some days. 

The longer days had Olivia immediately seeking out the comfort of Ell when she would get home. She would take the little girl in her arms, twirling Ella high in the air until they were both laughing. Olivia then made sure she kept up a solid nighttime routine with Ella so that never once did Ella have to doubt that her mom loved her. It had become her only goal in life lately. 

Then, when the apartment was quiet, and Megan had wandered back to her own home, Olivia would lie awake, realizing this is the happiest she has ever been. She had everything she dreamed of and more. She had a beautiful daughter who was healthy and growing quickly. Olivia had a woman who supported her like a mother and always had her back. At work, she had a partner who kept her safe. Her captain had become a father figure to her, and there was a squad full of people she cared for. 

A first date that was going to have to get canceled when you receive a text from your back up back up babysitter. The only option that you could try would be asking your sister, but that meant explaining where you were going. You didn't feel like defending yourself right now.

You decided to break the news to Athena quickly so you could go mope in sweatpants. She picks up on the first ring.

“Hi sweetheart, I'm excited to see you soon,” she says, making your heart flutter.

“About that,” you murmur. “My third babysitter just canceled, so I don't have anyone to watch Ella tonight.”

“Does Ella like Happy Meals?” Athena asks, and you are startled by the sudden change of subject.

“Yes..chicken nuggets…”

“I'll bring her one, and we can all have dinner together,” Athena says, but then her confidence wavers. “If that is something you are interested in.”

“Yes, I'm interested,” you giggle, suddenly seeing a little hope in the situation. “You aren't upset?”

“You and Ella are a package deal. I'm never going to be upset that you have to watch her,” Athena reassures you. “I'm happy to have dinner with y’all and then reschedule our date.” She pauses for a moment. “I just need to see you.”

You clutch the phone a little tighter at her words. “I need to see you, too.”

“Then I'll be there in an hour,” Athena says confidently. “See you soon, sweetheart.”

When she hangs up the phone, you turn to find Ella watching you from the doorway. You jump, almost tossing your phone at her sudden appearance.

“I should put a bell on you. You scared me, sweet girl,” you say as Ella laughs.

“Who was that?” She asks when she finally controls her giggles.

“Athena, she’s going to bring over dinner. Is that okay with you?” You ask suddenly, nervous that Ella will say no.

Instead, you watch as your daughter’s face lights up. She bounces from foot to foot. “Do you think she will stay to play games with us?”

“I'm sure you could ask her,” you smile.

-~-

An hour later, there is a knock on the door. You open it to a smiling Athena with an outfit that takes your breath away. She is in tight-fitting black cargo pants that are accompanied by a black puffy jacket. The jacket is partly unzipped to show a gray shirt underneath. It’s simple yet beautiful.

“Hi,” you finally stammer before looking at her full hands. You eye one particular brown bag. “Is that what I think it is?”

“Take out from your favorite restaurant? Yes,” Athena grins. “There was no way I was only bringing McDonald's.”

You are giggling before Ella runs down the hall and immediately throws herself at Athena. Athena moves back a half step to catch herself before grinning at the girl.

“Hi hun. I brought you some food,” Athena tells her and then adds in a whisper, “and a soda if your mom says it is okay?”

Still clinging to Athena, your daughter turns her eyes up to give you a pleading look. You nod, telling her it’s okay, which only makes her smile bigger. She helps Athena carry a bag to the dining room table and then takes off towards the bathroom to wash her hands.

Once Athena’s hands are emptied she turns around to hug you. At first, it catches you off guard, but then you melt into it, letting your hands wrap around her back. Athena doesn't say anything at first, just pulls you closer as she nuzzles into your neck.

Finally, she murmurs, “I missed you.”

You squeeze her as you reply, “I missed you more.”

She pulls away but still lingers close. “Thank you for letting me come over.”

You smile and squeeze her hand gently. “Thank you for still coming over. I really needed this.” You hear Ella starting to run down the hallway. “Hope you are ready for lots of board games after dinner.”

-~-

You can’t help but steal glances over at Athena as you eat dinner. It isn’t the type of date you expected to be having, but it still makes you smile. Athena listens to dozens of tales about her day from school, never once looking annoyed. She even tells Ella about her own kids and what they enjoyed during school. It is a dinner full of laughter and smiles that continue over to board games.

You lose track of how many different board games you play until Ella finally admits defeat and wanders off to bed. You follow her to make sure that she brushes her teeth and settles in before you go back into the living room. You find Athena wiping down the dining room table.

“Athena you don't have to do that.”

She merely smiles as she finishes what she was doing. “You let me crash a night with your daughter. The least I can do is pick up after.”

You pause a second before finally working up the courage to ask. “Do you want to stay for a while and watch a movie?”

Athena doesn't hesitate in her response. “That sounds wonderful.”

You pop a bag of popcorn before flicking on the TV. Athena sits down on the couch hesitating before sliding to sit next to you. You smile and lean against her as you put on some rom com you have been meaning to get around to watching. As the opening scene rolls Athena pulls the blanket off the back and drapes it around both of you.

Your hand seeks hers out below the blanket. She takes it with a small squeeze. Her thumb gently traces the back of your hand.

“You know I have never been on a date with a woman before,” she admits.

“Well now you have,” you grin.

Athena turns to look at you with a raised eyebrow. “I thought we had to reschedule our date?”

You shrug looking down at your intertwined hands. “We had dinner together, played board games together, and now are watching a movie cuddling. I would consider that very first date like don't ya think?”

“First date for sure,” Athena agrees. “We can consider the next one our second date.”

“Now that is an idea I can get behind, you giggle.

It’s the laughter that sets Athena over. Your brows crinkle and you grin in a way that sends her heart racing.

“I wasn't going to do this today but I have been thinking about it for weeks and I have to know,” Athena whispers before leaning forward to kiss you.

It’s soft and quicker than you would have liked but it has the desired effect. Your head spins and you work desperately to catch your breath. You keep your forehead pressed against hers.

“What have you been trying to figure out?” You ask finally.

Athena laughs then. “I told Hen I wanted to know what your lips taste like.”

You squeeze her hand before nuzzling back against her. “And what do they taste like?”

“Hope,” Athena smiles.

-~-

Taglist

She chases the kiss for a moment before placing her forehead against yours. “Thank you, baby. Now let’s pretend this day doesn’t exist at all.”

You pull back, raising your eyebrow at her. “You know that I can’t do that. It’s one of the most important days of the year.” You pause as her face softens slightly. “I know that your mother has made you feel like you weren’t important, but that changes now.”

Olivia has tears spring in the corner of her eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” you say before kissing her again.

You stay connected with her for a moment before you start to kiss down her neck. Her hands automatically curl into your hair as she moves her head aside to give you more access. You take your time kissing and nipping along her skin, starting from the spot behind her ear that makes her breath hitch all the way down to the base of her neck, enjoying the way her body writhes underneath you. You love how excited she gets just from this, and you know that she is dripping by now.

To prove the point, your hand travels down her stomach and under her waistband. Her hips arch up towards your touch. You think about teasing her for a moment, but you have already been doing that all night with lingering touches and featherlight kisses as you watched a movie in your room. Now you want to give in to something that you have been waiting to do all night.

“Baby, please,” she moans just as your fingers find her clit.

“You’re dripping,” you murmur against her skin before biting down on her pulse point, the same moment that you start rubbing her clit hard.

“Oh shit,” Olivia grunts, her nails scraping against your scalp as her orgasm takes over.

It isn’t a big one, just a soft flutter that shows her what is to come. You kiss the mark on her neck softly before you remove your hand. Olivia whimpers until you pull at her shorts. She lifts her hips to help you kick the fabric down to the bottom of the bed. You skip over her clothed chest entirely and instead settle between her legs. She lets them fall open to accommodate you, and you kiss her inner thigh with a featherlight kiss.

“I’m so glad that you were born,” you whisper along her skin.

Her breath hitches, and she reaches for your hand to ground herself. You run your palm along hers in a similar manner to how your lips tease her inner thigh, and she sighs at the sensation. Your fingers intertwine with hers at the same moment you decide to suck on the skin where her thigh meets her core. She gasps briefly at how it makes her clit pulse, her hips arching toward you.

“I love to make you squirm,” you murmur as you kiss along both sides of her outer lips.

Your teeth nip at the skin near her clit, and she shudders at the sensation. Her nipples tighten to stiff peaks under her shirt, and her walls clench hard around nothing.

“Oh god,” she whimpers when your index finger teases her entrance. “Y/N, please.”

You slide your finger in gently, and the moan Olivia releases makes your heart stutter. You curl it for a second, feeling the way Olivia flutters around you. Her hips chase after you when you remove it. Her eyes flick down towards you, the brown in them replaced by pure desire.

“Baby,” she whines when you kiss along her inner thigh again.

“Yes?” You ask before biting down on a particular sensitive spot.

She jumps and then lets out a strangled groan when you lick and suck along the spot to leave a hickey there. Her fingers go to tangle in your hair as an attempt to guide you where you want her the most. When you don't move, she pouts with her pout lip curling out.

“Baby, please.”

You kiss the hickey on her thigh gently before lying your head down. Your fingers draw random shapes on the leg you aren't currently occupying as you look at her.

“What does the birthday girl want?”

“You,” she replies with a hint of annoyance starting to creep in.

You click your tongue, your nails softly curling into her skin. “I know you can do better than that. Tell me what you want me to do, my love.”

“I…I,” Olivia stammers suddenly on the spot. “I want you inside of me.”

You let your finger run down from her clit to her entrance. She lets out a shaky breath as you stick one finger gently inside of her. You don't move, just lie there watching her.

“Like this baby?” You ask with a hint of teasing in your tone.

She shakes her head, her eyes focused on your fingers. “More. I need more fingers.”

You move your finger out, going up to flick her clit once. Olivia bites down on her lip, which barely contains her moan as you move to slide two fingers inside of her. They move just as slowly as the first time, and when they settle inside of her and don't move, she groans.

“I gave you more fingers,” you remind her. “What else do you need?”

Her cheeks are red now from having to explain exactly what she wants, but you don't stop. It’s her birthday, and you want to give her exactly what she needs. She just has to spell it out for you.

“Three fingers,” she murmurs breathlessly as you remove your fingers. “Hard,” she adds desperately when she feels you get close to her entrance again.

“Anything for you,” you say, brushing your lips against her skin before you let your fingers curl inside of her hard and fast.

“Shit,” Olivia groans, her back arching. “More of that, please.”

You slide your fingers out gently before thrusting them hard back inside her. Olivia brings the back of her hand to her mouth, biting down to stop the scream that threatens to break from her lips.

“You take me so well, baby,” you grin as you set a pace for curling and thrusting your fingers.

Olivia is arching her back so hard now that her shirt rolls down her chest to settle around her neck. She doesn't seem to care as she lets her hand roam over her chest. You can see in the dim light of the bedroom the hard peaks of her nipple that she takes gingerly between her fingers.

“That’s it, baby,” you encourage after a particularly hard thrust that makes Olivia whimper. “I love when you play with yourself when I'm inside of you.”

Olivia’s eyes flutter shut at the comment, and you can feel her tighten around your fingers. You watch her pull and twist at her nipples for a moment before you stop entirely. Your fingers go to slide out of her when her legs tighten, so your hand is trapped.

“What are you doing?” She asks, her chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath.

You let a sly smirk spread along your face. “Just making sure I'm giving my girl the best birthday she has ever had.”

“I didn't tell you to stop,” Olivia protests.

Your eyebrow arches upward. “I said, tell me what you want. I didn't say you were the boss, did I?”

Olivia gulps before she subtly shakes her head no. You grin, then your free hand gently pulls her thighs apart.

“Good girl,” you praise her when she opens them wider. “Now, hard and fast, is that what you want?” Olivia nods her head, but you tsk. “Words. I want to hear exactly how you want me to unravel you.”

Olivia feels hot from her cheeks down to her chest at how specific you’re wanting her to be today. “I want you to fuck me and flick my clit with your tongue.”

“Now that,” you murmur as you kiss the apex of her thigh. “I can do.”

Olivia gropes her own breast with a strangled groan when you resume thrusting hard and fast. She's wetter than you’ve ever seen her, your fingers soaked with her arousal. The sound of it fills your ears every time your fingers bottom out inside her. You look up at her as you start to flick her clit firm and fast, and the muscles in her belly jump, and her walls clench tight around your fingers.

You know her body well enough to know her orgasm is right there. A couple more thrusts, and you see her thighs start to tremble in your peripheral vision. A few more thrusts after that, and her chest starts to squirm.

“I’m gonna—“ Olivia tries to warn, but her orgasm hits before she can finish.

It seems to take the air from her lungs and leave her completely silent as she squirms. You suddenly feel her thighs clench tightly against either side of your head, and at the same time, you feel a gush of wetness cover your hand and wrist.

You go to pull out of her, but her thighs close around your head, trapping you between her legs. She groans, her hand tangling in your hair to press you closer against her.

“Don't stop, don't stop,” she whines, her hips grinding against you.

For a second, you worry that you won't be able to breathe with her thighs pressed so tightly around you, but you don't care. The only thing you want to do is make Olivia feel good. So you do exactly that.

You suck hard on her clit as your fingers keep thrusting as hard as the new position will allow. You can't hear her anymore with your ears covered, but feel everything. Her fingers scratch on your scalp. Her thighs tremble and twitch with every thrust. She clenches around your fingers, and she has to be wetter than you have ever felt before.

It only takes a couple more moments before she peaks again. This time, you can hear the scream from her lips that you hope doesn't wake anyone. It is accompanied by another gush that runs down your face and onto the sheets.

You stop thrusting, then letting her body shake, then still. You tap her thighs gently with her free hand, and she finally releases her hold. You pull back, not trying to reveal how desperately you are trying to catch your breath. Not that it would have mattered anyway, Olivia’s eyes are closed, a bead of sweat running down her face.

You lean forward, kissing her temple. “Are you okay, my love?”

“Yes…so okay,” Olivia says softly with a tiny laugh, fluttering her eyes open till she locks eyes with you. “Oh,” her fingers coming to wipe your chin. “Did I…”

“Squirt all over my face like the most perfect good girl? Yes, yes, you did.” You grin, which causes Olivia to blush. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” she whispers, then yawns.

Your fingers trace her face softly. “I know you’re sleepy, baby, but I need to get you cleaned up first.”

Olivia only nods, her body finally crashing from the stimulation. You go to your bathroom, warm up a cloth, and gently spread Olivia’s legs to clean them. She twitches at the mixture of overstimulation and warmth she feels.

“I know, baby,” you whisper, kissing her forehead. “Let me help you to the bathroom, and then I'll change the sheets.”

She nods, allowing you to pick her up and gently carry her to the bathroom. While she reorients herself with reality, you strip the sheets, placing a towel over the wet spot she left before replacing it. She wobbles back out just as you finish setting up the blankets. You tsk at her impatience, helping her under the covers after putting her in a comfy pair of pajamas.

She whines when you don't immediately get under the covers with her. You silence it with a soft kiss. “I'm getting you water, and then I'll be right back.”

True to your word, you return moments later with a glass of water. You help her sit up for a second to gulp down half the contents, then slide under the covers next to her. She immediately curls into your chest, nuzzling against you. You clutch her tightly, rubbing soft circles along her back.

“You did so well, baby. I'm so proud of you,” you whisper, causing her to pull you tighter. “I'm so happy you were born.”

She mumbles something intelligible, and you merely nod. “Get some sleep. I'm right here.”

—-

The quiet you wake up to hours later is quickly chased away by the rustling of your parents attempting to sneak into your room with balloons and a cake in hand. Your dad is holding the cake — a bold move, considering he dropped a birthday cake of yours years ago — and your mom is holding a few brightly decorated balloons. The small party hats atop their heads make you chuckle sleepily, cuddling closer to a very drowsy-looking Olivia. You cover your ears when you finally notice the party blower clutched between your dad’s teeth. He gives it one good blow before letting it drop to the floor unceremoniously, a grin quickly taking its place.

“Happy Birthday, Olivia!” They yell in unison.

You look over to see Olivia smiling with tears pricking in the corner of her eyes. You kiss her temple. “I told you that you were loved.”

She laughs, leaning against you as your dad carefully places the cake on her lap. “Thank you, but don’t you think that it’s a little early for cake?”

“It’s already noon. We let you sleep all morning,” your mother explains, handing out forks. “Plus, cake is really an anytime food.”

You don’t realize how hungry you are until you grab a fork from your mom and stare at the cake, figuring out where to dig in first. After all the activities that you and Liv had participated in this morning, it is no surprise that you slept in late. Part of you wants to stay in bed with her for a little longer, but if you know your parents at all, you know they have an afternoon full of plans.

“We figured you two could get presentable and then we could have a walk around the city,” your mom says, brushing a strand of hair behind Olivia’s ear. “We wanted to get you some records, but have absolutely no idea what you already have. So we can go together and get you some.”

“Oh.. you really don’t need to—“

“Hey, hey, none of that,” your dad says, cutting her off. “It is our first birthday with our second daughter. We want to spoil you.”

Olivia’s face reddens as she nods, stopping another protest by digging into the cake. You laugh when half of it gets on her face. You swipe it away with your thumb as Olivia laughs. She is happy and loved, which is all you could wish for her on her birthday.

—

Hours later, Olivia has one hand curled in yours while the other carries a large bag of records that she got at the store. She had attempted only to get two, but every time she put down one, your father would pick it back up. When he notices that she’s starting to struggle carrying it, he swoops in and takes the bag for her.

“I got you, kiddo,” he smiles before returning to walk next to your mom.

It is a simple thing, but you notice the way Olivia lights up. Which only continues when you get to a local brunch spot that your parents love to eat at.

You sit across from them in a cozy booth where they order way too much food. The conversation flows easily, and Olivia keeps her hand curled through yours under the table. You wonder for a moment how you got so lucky to have this life. You have a beautiful girlfriend who loves you endlessly. You have parents who accept every part of you and push you to be better. You are on a volleyball team that is ranked number one in the state, and you have scouts wanting you for college. It is everything you wanted and then some.

“Turning eighteen only happens once in your life,” your dad jokes, making you roll your eyes, “so we decided to do something a little special for our last gift of the day.”

“You two have already gotten me so much,” Olivia replies.

Your dad slides Olivia a hotel room key, “One night at the fanciest hotel in New York. Or, at least, the fanciest hotel that I felt safe sending my children to.”

You both laugh then, and your dad smiles. “Enjoy your night away and don’t do anything that your mother and I wouldn’t do at your age.”

“You and Mom got pregnant with me when you were my age!” You remind them.

Your mom burst into a sudden fit of giggles. “At least we don’t have to worry about you getting pregnant.”

The whole table bursts into laughter, but it is Olivia’s whispered comment in your ear that makes you grow warm from head to toe: “Doesn’t mean I can’t try.”

The teasing doesn't stop there, and you are pretty sure your skin is on fire by the time you make it back to the apartment. The only pause comes when you both pack for the hotel. The two of you will only be gone for a day or two, which doesn't require too much packing, but you make sure the birthday presents you got for Olivia are in your bag, plus a couple of other surprises.

Just as you are zipping up your bag, Olivia circles her arms around your waist. She places a kiss on your shoulder, then your neck, before resting her chin on your shoulder.

“You ready?”

You hum, pulling her in closer. “Yes, I was thinking we could get to the hotel. Maybe relax a little and then go to dinner at the place we had our first date. If you're up to it.”

You can feel Olivia’s smile without seeing her. “That sounds wonderful, baby. Thank you for making my birthday so special.”

You turn around to kiss her. “We haven't even started yet.”

—

The diner is exactly how you remember it from your date with Olivia, except now all the wait staff also know you. You catch up in small moments of them rushing between tables and never fail to mention that it is Olivia’s birthday. Her cheeks burn at each birthday wish, but it doesn't stop you. You are determined to make sure everyone acknowledges her.

To return the favor, Olivia takes time to meticulously tease you throughout dinner. Her fingers trace nonsensical patterns on your exposed skin. When a particular waiter takes too long talking, she dips her hand underneath your skirt just to see the way your hand curls into her thigh in a warning. She ignores it all, though, content to map out every single inch of your skin like she doesn't already have it memorized.

In some of the quieter, more intimate moments, Olivia will lean over to kiss your neck or nip gently at your skin. Any time you turn to kiss her, though, she tilts her head away and returns to eating her food. No matter how many times you subtly beg her to stop, she never does, just continues to make you squirm in your seat until you finally beg her to get dessert to go.

When you return to the hotel room, Olivia is practically vibrating with joy. This is the longest she has ever made it with nothing going wrong on her birthday. You can't help but smile as she falls on the bed in a rush of laughter.

“My love, are you ready for your birthday gifts?” You ask, digging through your bags.

She props herself up on the bed by her elbows. “What do you mean, there are more gifts? I thought this hotel room was a gift.”

“That was a gift from my parents,” you say, holding two packages in your hand. “These are gifts from me.”

Her hands take the package, her face softening as she traces the wrapping paper. “Baby, you really didn’t have to. You have already given me more than enough.”

“Just open it,” you say, tapping the wrapping paper.

She pulls the biggest one first, revealing a canvas that is covered in pictures of both of you together. You had spent hours at school in your art class piecing it together to make sure that you could put as many on as possible. Olivia had insisted that you start taking more pictures together, and honestly, you didn’t regret it. Looking at the way her whole face lit up as she remembered each moment made every moment in front of the camera, instead of behind it is worth it.

The second present was smaller but contained a bracelet with small charms on it. There was a record, a volleyball, and even a little police officer badge. Olivia immediately holds out her wrist for you to hook it on. When you clasp the lock into place, you kiss it gently.

“These are beautiful, baby,” Olivia says, pulling you into a hug. “Thank you for making my birthday amazing.”

You place a soft kiss on her forehead before gently pulling away, “I’m not done yet.

“There’s more?” She chuckles. “Now you have to be joking.”

You shake your head, biting down on your bottom lip. You pull her up from the bed and then turn her around so she is facing away from the bathroom door. “Just turn around and stay here till I tell you that you can look.”

Olivia groans, but you can practically feel the excitement tumbling off of her. You make sure she isn’t looking as you grab your bag and go into the bathroom. Your hands shake slightly as you try to find what you are looking for. Finally, your fingers catch on the lacey fabric, and you pull it out. The purple and white flowery lingerie is something that you have been debating on getting for weeks, but finally, you took the leap and purchased it. You had wanted to know what Olivia would do when she saw you in it.

You catch your appearance in the mirror as you adjust the straps and let out a heavy sigh. Olivia has seen you naked before; this shouldn’t scare you, but there is still a flutter of nerves as you step out into the room. You take a deep breath before calling out to her.

“Okay, you can turn around now.”

You watch Olivia’s eyes subtly widen when she finally turns around. They roam over you from head to toe as she steps closer. You’re slowly rocking back and forth on your feet, your cheeks a deep shade of pink from the look in her eye. The brown has transformed into a blackness as desire starts to consume her.

“Y/N/N,” she says quietly, finally reaching out to touch you. “You look…beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you reply just as quietly.

Her hands roam everywhere. They trace the outline of the lingerie, linger on various parts of your exposed skin, and stop to flick at your nipples that are already starting to harden. Your skin feels like it is on fire due to all the attention.

“This will be my favorite present to unwrap,” she admits with a wide smile.

You only manage to giggle before her lips are on yours, starting a kiss filled with enough heat that you feel your knees grow weak. She wraps an arm around your waist to keep you upright. She gently tugs your lip with her teeth enough to earn a moan before she begins to travel lower. You tilt your head back as she licks and nips harshly at the sensitive skin.

She lowers the strap of the lingerie off your shoulder the moment her lips reach the base of your neck. You bit your lip as your nipples hardened fully from the proximity of her lips. She looks up at you to see your lips part and a moan tumble from them when she flicks your nipple and takes it into her mouth. Your hand rests heavy on the back of her head, your fingers digging into her hair.

You watch her as she releases your nipple with a wet pop and flicks and sucks on it again and again, eventually moving to your other breast and paying it the same attention until your torso is curling toward her and you’re leaning into her.

“Liv,” you finally say as you cross your legs, desperate for any pressure against your throbbing clit.

“I’ll take care of you,” Olivia promises, looking up at you as her hand travels lower.

You uncross your legs when you feel her fingers press against where your thighs are crossed. You moan when her fingers brush against your clothed clit and travel further back to your entrance.

“Oh, you are soaked,” she says softly, a little surprised at the effect she had on you.

“Uh-huh,” you reply dumbly, too focused on the way her fingers are circling your clit to think up much else to say. “You were teasing me the entire time we had dinner.”

Olivia grins at this, her fingers moving quicker against your clit. “Did you like it, baby?”

“Yes…yes,” you whimper pathetically.

You cling to her when she doesn’t show signs of letting up. You bury your face in her neck in an effort to stay quiet when she rubs harder.

“Baby, you don’t have to be quiet here,” Olivia reminds you gently, and you release a shaky moan as she kisses back up your neck.

“Don’t stop, right there,” you gasp. “Not gonna last.”

“That’s okay,” she reassures you with a kiss to your head. “We have all night.”

You let out a noise that sounds like a half-laugh, half-moan in response. Your eyes shut tight when she rubs faster, and your thighs suddenly start to tremble.

“Olivia, oh shit,” you whimper.

Your torso curls into her as your orgasm hits, wave after wave rushing through you as she keeps rubbing. You lean heavily against her, and she uses her free arm to keep you upright. When your body finally settles, she kisses your temple gently.

“I love you, baby,” she whispers, nuzzling her nose against your hairline.

“Not nearly as much as I love you,” you tell her, and then pull away slightly when you finally catch your breath.

You push on Olivia’s shoulder until she falls back on the bed. She smiles as your hands come to bracket her head. She leans up to kiss you, but you move back slightly. A frown forms on her lips that makes you giggle.

“Do you still wish we had never celebrated your birthday?”

She shakes her head, allowing her hands to fall to your hips. “Nope, this is the best birthday ever.”

“You know, I think I can make it even better,” You grin before placing a kiss on Olivia’s lips. She tries to chase them when you pull away, but you escape her grasp. “Your last birthday present.”

“How many presents did you get me?” Olivia asks, forcing herself up on her elbows. “I distinctly remember telling you that I didn’t want anything. Now I can count almost half a dozen.”

You dig through your bag, finally pulling out what you have been looking for. You turn around, dangling the harness from your pointer finger. “So are you telling me that you want me to return all the gifts, including the lingerie and this?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t be hasty,” Olivia says as her eyes catch on the dildo that is dangling off the edge of the harness. “I wasn’t saying all of that. I was just telling you that you didn’t have to spoil me.”

You walk back over to the bed, cupping her cheek gently. “My love, you deserve to be spoiled every day, but especially on your birthday.”

Olivia’s cheeks burn red at this, and you don’t even let the insecure thoughts rush in. All you do is extend the harness out towards her. “Now, can you help me put on your final gift?”

Her eyes widen at this. “You want to put it on?”

You nod, placing your hands lightly on her shoulders. “Yup. You get the honorary first ride. It is your special day after all.”

Olivia laughs briefly at your remark, her cheeks turning pink. She adjusts the straps in her hand. She stares at it for a moment and then puts it out in front of her. You step into the straps, and her fingers gently trace the outside of your thighs as she pulls it up. Once it settles on your hips, she pulls the straps tight enough that you move forward and inch.

“Getting excited there?” You tease with a soft laugh.

“A little,” Olivia admits, her thumbs caressing the straps. “Did I pull too tight?”

“No, it's perfect, baby. Just like you,” you say, leaning down to capture her lips in a kiss.

Olivia cups your cheek to keep you close as she slowly pushes herself upright, her tongue grazing yours as your lips part for her. Her other hand reaches blindly for the dildo and slowly strokes it from base to tip as she breaks the kiss. She looks at the dildo before she looks up at you and your lips stay parted as the realization of what she’s about to do strikes you.

You can tell she’s a little nervous, and yet she still leans forward a little and swirls her tongue around the tip, her lips parting as she takes more of the dildo in her mouth. You can’t feel anything, and yet you find yourself turned on by the sight of her giving a blowjob.

She slowly bobs her head a few times before she pulls away completely. You can tell by the way she’s moving her jaw that she’s gathering saliva to get the dildo wet, which triggers the memory that you did buy lubricant, but you could care less about it now. Not when her lips are running down the side of the dildo, leaving a trail of wet in their wake.

Her mouth is too preoccupied to smile but her eyes do it for her, and part of you thinks it’s because she knows you find what she’s doing surprisingly arousing and you feel your face become hotter than a furnace. She finally has mercy on you and pulls away, crawling backwards up the bed. She spreads her legs as you climb up the bed with her.

It’s your turn to feel a rush of nerves blossom in your chest as you run your hands up her thighs, your fingers coming close to her core but purposely avoiding it in favor of her hips. You pull her a little closer in your attempt to arrange yourself so you’re close enough.

“I have a new respect for guys. This is nerve-wracking,” you mumble.

Olivia laughs, a deep belly, genuine laugh that makes her grin. “You’re doing fine, Y/N,” she reassures you.

She’s only further proven right when you slowly rub the dildo against her clit. She lets out a quiet hum and grinds her hips to rub down while you rub up, and her eyelashes flutter.

“That feel good?”

She nods. “Yeah. Rub harder.”

She moans encouragingly when you do exactly that. For a minute, the two of you work together to rub her clit. By the time you move to tease her folds with the tip of the dildo, it’s plenty lubricated enough for her. Her lips part and her eyebrows furrow as you slowly press into her. She’s wet enough that her body takes you without any discomfort.

Oh,” she says quietly, once you’re buried to the hilt.

“You okay?” You ask, your hands slowly running up her belly. You swipe her nipples with your thumbs and cup her breasts as she nods.

“I’m great,” she whispers before moaning as you pull at her nipple.

You grin at the way her eyes flutter shut and take that moment to slowly move out of her. Her lips twitch for a moment before you thrust your hips forward. She moves up slightly on the bed from the force of it and you panic that you did it too hard.

“Do it again,” Olivia moans her hand curling in the sheets.

You move out slowly and then thrust forward. Olivia lets out a moan then her eyes shutting. When you go to pull out again Olivia wraps her legs around your hips to make sure you don’t completely leave her. The movement causes you to fall forward slightly so that you have to clutch at the blankets beside her head to keep yourself up.

Olivia uses one hand to pull at the back of your neck so that she can kiss you. It is frantic with her immediately pulling at the bottom of your lip. Her hips arch up towards you until you finally get the hint. You start short hard thrusts as you move to leave open mouth kisses down her jaw.

Her hands come to claw at your back, molding your chest against hers. You time it perfectly so that you nip down at her pulse point the same moment you thrust particularly hard.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Olivia moans with every thrust, her nails digging into your skin.

You hiss for a moment but don’t stop. You will take this pain as long as it’s accompanied by her pleasure. Olivia’s breath stutters for a moment. “I'm… I'm gonna..”

She can't get the words out as her body shudders around you. Her hips still arch into you as she rides out the wave of her orgasm. Finally her body goes still and you move to kiss her temple.

“You okay baby?” You ask pulling back just enough that you can see the sweat that is slowly forming at her hairline.

“More than okay,” she smiles, her hands making small circles on your back.

You go to pull out then but her legs lock harder around you. “Where do you think you are going?” She asks incredulously.

“To clean up…I thought you were..” you say before Liv cuts you off.

“Oh, I'm nowhere near done with you. We haven't had a full night to ourselves in weeks. I am not wasting a single second of it,” she says pulling you down for a kiss.

When she pulls away her eyes gleam mischievously. “You got to be on top now it’s my turn.”

You cheeks blush at the statement but you nod. Her legs finally release you and she takes her hand to pull you fully onto the bed. You adjust so that your head lays between the two sets of pillows and you let out a soft moan when you look down.

If you thought Olivia giving you a blow job was hot it was nothing compared to looking at the way the dildo now glistens between your legs. Olivia is looking at it too, her cheeks burning. She takes it gingerly in her hands tugging at it hard enough that you arch into it.

In that moment you both realize something. This position puts the harness in the right spot to give you just the right amount of friction on your clit. Something you know Olivia is going to take full advantage of as she swings her legs on either side of your hips.

Your hands automatically go to her hips, fingers brushing them gently as she lines herself up. “You are absolutely beautiful. I can't wait for the day I can make you my wife.”

Her chest burns red as she smiles, lost for words. It’s not the first time that you have hinted at marrying her, but it still takes her off guard every time. She lowers herself slowly at first, adjusting to the new angle. You give her a second or so to adjust before your nails dig in and you pull her down.

She falls forward over you as she bottoms out, a moan ripping from her lips the same moment yours tumbles out. This new angle also allows her breasts to brush against yours but you don't think she can even tell. Olivia just pauses there, her eyes shut as her nails dig into your shoulders.

Your fingers come up to push a strand of hair behind her ear. Your words come out in a rush of anxiety. “Love, what’s going on? Are you okay? We can stop.”

“Don’t stop.” She says hastily. She forces out a breath that allows her to open her eyes and look at you. “I just feel so full,” she admits quietly.

“Is that a good thing?” You ask cautiously.

“So good,” she nods, testing a shallow thrust that makes her breath hitch. “I love being full of you.”

You watch her pull away so she can shift to her knees and sink down on you again and again. It’s hard to know where to look: her face, her breasts as they bounce every time your pelvises meet, or where the dildo ends and she begins, the toy glistening. All you know is you’re enjoying the show and she seems to like the way you keep squeezing and releasing her hips in unison with her sinking down.

You feel useless like this though, like she’s doing all the work to make herself feel good and that’s not what you’re looking to have happen on her birthday, so you move your dominant hand away from her hip and toward her core. Her head drops forward when your thumb finds her clit. Blindly yet accurately, she reaches out and grabs the headboard so she can roll her hips against yours, effectively taking over the role you gave yourself.

She loves to take control, no matter what is going on, you have come to notice. You would chuckle at the realization if you weren’t pleasantly distracted by the sight of her breasts so close to your face.

Running your hands up her sides, you cup her breasts and press them together. She shivers and moans when you tease her nipples to stiffer peaks than they had been before.

“Mm,” she hums, her voice briefly taking on a higher pitch. “S’good.”

“You’re so pretty, Liv,” you praise. “Take what you need.”

The roll of her hips suddenly changes to short, quick thrusts, as if your words were the little push she needed to chase what she wanted.

“That’s it,” you croon. “You’re so close, aren’t you?”

She nods once, already rounding forward in anticipation for the pleasure to peak. She feels it coiled up tight in her belly, ready to pop at seemingly any moment. But she needs just a little more friction that she can’t quite give herself.

“Touch me,” she breathes out.

Your dominant hand instantly drops back down to her core and she unravels above you within a few frantic rubs against her clit. Her thrusting falters and she cries out as the orgasm reaches its peak.

You move your thumb away from her clit when her body starts to flinch from the aftershocks. You let out a chuckle as you watch her fail to lay on her side and instead finds herself on her stomach after she climbs off of you. She makes no effort to change her position though. She simply puts her arms under her head as a makeshift pillow as her body subtly tremors.

“You okay?” You ask.

You move to sit upright so you can run your hand down her back and across her ass. Your hand moves to where the curve of her ass meets her thigh and you redirect your movement so your fingers graze her inner thigh, discreetly spreading that leg wider.

“Mmhm,” she hums.

She willingly spreads both legs for you and you take the silent invitation. Your fingers gently dip inside of her and she whimpers a little as she pushes back against you.

“Still not done?” You tease.

She shakes her head. “Need more.”

You smile and lean down to kiss her cheek. “Whatever the birthday girl wants, the birthday girl gets.”

You move so that you are behind her and curl your fingers around her hips, arching them higher and running one hand up her back to gently press her chest into the mattress. You slowly press inside her and her lips part with a breathy moan as you stretch her again.

“I love you like this,” you say quietly, squeezing her hips. “So wet and needy for me that you can’t get enough.”

Olivia pushes her hair away from her face and grips the sheets as you pull out and thrust forward. Any response she may have had is promptly cut off as you start to thrust in a steady rhythm that has her moaning each time you bottom out inside her. You move your hands from her hips to her ass and spread her cheeks so you can watch as you disappear inside her and reemerge glistening. Just the sight alone makes you moan.

“You feel so good,” she gasps suddenly.

You feel deeper from this angle but she doesn’t know how to describe it. Just that it feels amazing and she wants it, needs it harder. Her grip tightens on the sheets as she levers up to brace herself and starts moving her hips to meet your thrusts and her eyes nearly cross at how you hit her g-spot harder.

Her head hangs downward as the pleasure builds, her hair hiding her face from view. You reach forward and push it away from her face.

“Can’t let that beautiful face go into hiding,” you breathe, smiling briefly when she smiles and merely groans in response when you put more force in your thrust. “Is that what you want, baby? Harder?”

“Yes,” she moans.

Your fingers curl around her hips a little tighter and set a brutal pace that has Olivia shaking beneath you. There are no words for how she feels anymore, just a string of noises that seem to bounce endlessly around the room. You can tell she is close to the edge as her fingers turn pale from how hard she is gripping the sheets and you know you aren't that far behind her.

“Baby, baby,” Olivia whimpers and you soothe her with a gentle hand down her back.

“I know my love, let it go, I got you.”

It’s all Olivia needs to fall over the final edge that drags you with her. Her body collapses on the mattress and when you pull out one last time she cries out. You soothe her with a soft kiss on the back and promise to be right back.

You drop the strap on the way to the bathroom to get a small towel to clean Olivia up. She is still in a star fish position with sweat glistening on her shaky skin when you return. You swipe gently between her legs murmuring small words of praise as she attempts to settle her breath.

Eventually you get her to sit up against the headboard. After a bottle of water is consumed you help her into an oversized t-shirt and under the covers. You slide next to her and pull out the takeout container filled with her chocolate cake.

You dip a spoonful into it and then hold it up for her. “Did you have a good birthday?”

She nods while finishing her bite and then kisses you on the cheek. “The best birthday yet. Thank you baby. I hope every birthday gets to be like this.”

You agree before extending another spoonful out for her and vow internally that you will make every birthday from here on a special occasion for Olivia.

-~-

Taglist

“Oh my sweet girl,” Melissa says, opening her arms up to try and comfort Amari.

Amari looks desperately at Melissa but begins to cry when she whispers, “I had accident.”

There is a flicker of understanding that comes across Melissa’s face. She had planned for this with a waterproof cover on the bed. She gets slowly to her feet before holding her hand out for Amari.

“Let’s go get you washed up and in some new pajamas then.”

Amari looks at the older woman through watery eyes. “You not mad? They always get mad.”

Melissa's heart breaks as Amari’s little body begins to shake. So many people before her have made this little girl feel wrong for being a kid. It isn't fair. 

Melissa leans down to wipe a tear from Amari’s cheek, gently noting the way the girl stiffens under the simple touch. “I ain’t mad,” she whispers. “Accidents happen. That ain’t something to yell about.” She extends her hand again. “Let’s get you cleaned up and get you some good dreams.”

Amari’s expression is wary, like she is waiting for the moment Melissa flips the script and actually yells, but she takes her hand anyway. Melissa guides her to the bathroom, where she helps Amari into the shower. Once she is clean, fresh pajamas are put on, sheets are stripped, and laundry is started. Amari picks a light blue for the replacement sheets and is about to crawl into bed when she pauses.

“I still scared,” she admits, clutching Stitch so close to her chest that Melissa is worried stuffing may come out.

Melissa glances at the clock that ticks one minute closer to 2 am and stifles a sigh. She is exhausted, and after accidentally falling asleep in the living room, her body is sore. She needs a bed, and Amari’s one isn't going to cut it tonight.

“You can come sleep with my sweetheart,” she says and smiles when Amari’s face lights up. 

Melissa makes sure that Amari is settled before she goes to the bathroom to get ready for bed. She scrubs the makeup from her face before changing her clothes. She pauses for a second to look at her reflection in the mirror. It amazes her that she looks the same when everything around her already feels so different. 

“We can do this, Schemmenti,” she whispers before going back into the room.

Amari is still up waiting for her. When Melissa crawls under the covers, she can feel the young girl’s eyes on her. She turns to ask what is wrong, but instead finds small fingers gently tracing her features.

“You look so pretty with no makeup,” Amari says.

Melissa has to bite back her first retort about how she doesn’t. She has bags under her eyes, lines all over her face, and lips that fall flat. But Amari doesn't need that. Amari needs a little display of confidence in a world that is constantly trying to bring her down.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Melissa whispers, flicking off the light and opening her arms. “Any way I can get a hug before bed?”

She smiles when Amari launches herself across the space. Melissa holds her tight, kissing her forehead gently. “If you want, you can stay curled next to me all night. I'll make sure to ward away all the bad dreams.”

Amari clings to Melissa as her answer, and they settle back against the pillows, tangled together. The older woman worries that Amari will be up all night, but within moments, she is fast asleep. It doesn't take long for Melissa to follow.

-~-

The next morning, Melissa wakes up in a similar manner, with Amari calling her name. Except this time, the little girl is all smiles.

“I'm hungry,” Amari whispers.

Melissa raises an eyebrow. “Hello, hungry. I was supposed to make breakfast for a little girl named Amari today. Do you know where she went?”

Amari rolls her eyes, stifling a laugh. “I am Amari.”

Melissa sits up, attacking Amari’s side with featherlight touches. The little girl bursts into laughter, and Mel doesn't stop tickling until they are both out of breath. 

“Well, Miss Amari, what would you like for breakfast this morning?”

“Pancakes?” Amari asks.

“Pancakes sound good. My friend Barbara is going to join us, and then after we are going to get some stuff to decorate your room. Sound good?”

Amari’s eyes light up, and she nods excitedly. Melissa tells her to get dressed, and the little girl is off within seconds. When the room is empty, Melissa takes a minute to breathe. Everything is moving so fast, she knows if she doesn't slow down and enjoy it she will miss everything.

When she finally decides it is time to get up, there is a text from Barbara telling her not to worry about coffee because she will stop and get some. Melissa’s face flickers into a smile at the way that Barb seems to read her mind without trying. 

-~-

Twenty minutes later, Amari is playing in the living room when there is a knock on the door. Melissa knows that knock anywhere but still glances down at her phone to check the ring camera. When she confirms that it is Barbara, she asks Amari to open the door.

With hesitant steps, Amari opens the door to a grinning Barbara. There is a coffee carrier in one hand and a small gift in the other. She smiles the moment her eyes lock on Amari.

“Well, hello, beautiful. I'm Barbara. What’s your name?” 

“Amari. I live with Melissa till they send me somewhere else or my mom comes back.”

Barbara and Melissa both stiffen at the comment. Amari isn't wrong; that's exactly what Melissa signed up for. The reality of it coming from a child so young just took them off guard.

Barbara recovers first, extending the gift bag to Amari. “Well, I brought you a gift, Amari, to help make nights a little easier.” She pauses as Amari looks inside the bag. “My daughters used to have nightmares, but then we put in that night light and dream catcher. All of a sudden, no more nightmares.”

Amari squeals when her eyes lock on the purple and blue dream catcher. The nightlight is a simple sun and moon, but she is still bouncing with excitement when she looks at it. 

She runs over to Melissa, a broad smile on her face. “Melissa! Melissa! Look what Barbara got me. No more bad dreams.”

“No more bad dreams,” Melissa confirms, her eyes flicking to Barbara as she whispers a soft thank you. “Maybe you can show Barbara your room, and she can help you set it up.”

Amari rushes back to Barbara, her hands twitching as if holding herself back. It is Barbara who finally takes the hint and extends her hand. Amari takes it gratefully and guides the older woman through the house. 

When they come back out, breakfast is ready with Melissa already serving the plates. After she places the last one down, she turns around to find Barbara coming in to hug her. 

Barbara places a soft kiss on Melissa’s cheek like she always does. “Thank you for breakfast, Mel.”

Melissa smiles, letting warmth radiate across her cheek. “Gotta feed ya before you brave the grocery store with me. We got a busy day.”

-~-

Melissa wasn't wrong when she said that it would be busy. They drift in and out of so many stores that they can barely keep track. 

Amari picks out numerous snacks and dishes she wants Melissa to make. She is hesitant at first, but Melissa encourages her to pick out whatever she wants (within reason). It isn’t the candy that Amari goes for. She heads straight for fruits and various vegetables that she has never tried before. Melissa buys it all, trying to plot out how she is supposed to get a five-year-old to like pomegranate and dragon fruit. 

Finding room decorations took longer with Amari worrying about the price of everything. She would pick something up, second-guess herself, and put it back down. It took a while for Melissa and Barbara to reassure the little girl that she could pick out what she wanted. Turns out all she wanted was Stitch bedsheets, posters, and stuffed animals to fill the room. It was Barbara who convinced her to get fairy lights to put up in her room. There isn’t much because Ava has already supplied so many clothes and toys, but Melissa does buy Amari one outfit. It is a two-piece Stitch one that Amari couldn’t take her eyes off of. 

As they are checking out, Melissa thinks that she is finally going to get out of the weekend store crowds when one of Barbara’s kindergartners runs up to her. It is a simple interaction with only a hug and a quick question about what Barbara is doing outside of school, but Amari watches it intently. When the girl runs away, Amari pulls on Melissa’s sleeve. 

“Who did her hair?” Amari asks, still looking at the braided hair with huge ballies at the end. 

“I think her Mom did them,” Melissa admits, studying the braids. 

Amari’s face falls, and Melissa panics, trying to figure out what to do. It is Barbara who saves her again. 

“I can do that if you want, sweetheart,” Barbara reassures her. She laughs when Amari gives her hair a skeptical look. “Don’t let this fool you. I know how to braid hair.”

Amari’s face immediately lights up, and yet another store is added to their day. Amari falls asleep on the way there, and Melissa doesn’t have the heart to wake her when they arrive, so instead she carries her on her hip around the store. Amari doesn’t even wake up; she just mumbles nonsense and clings tighter to Melissa. 

It would be a heartfelt moment if Melissa didn’t feel so out of place in the hair shop. She has no idea what hair products, brushes, or beads to get. Barbara explains it to her with kind reassurances, loading the cart with various supplies. When they get to the front, Melissa attempts to grab for her wallet, but it is Barbara who pays.

It is also Barbara who shows Melissa how to wash Amari’s hair when she finally wakes up from her nap hours later. Washing the little girl’s hair was easy, but as soon as they got to braiding, Melissa feels anxiety pricking her skin. Barbara pulls her hair, making sure the braids are tight to Amari’s scalp. Melissa flinches with every pull, but Amari doesn’t seem to care. All the little girl does is continue to put out different things from the scavenger hunt book that Ava got her.

By the time that her hair is done, the sun is setting, and Melissa is exhausted. She opts for pizza and asks Barbara to stay for dinner. While they wait for it to arrive, Amari begs them to play a game of Uno. There is a lot of laughter and some small cheating on the part of Amari, but everyone is in good spirits by the time that food finally arrives. It is gone in record speed and then a movie is put on the living room TV to round out the evening.

Amari makes herself a nest of blankets on one corner of the couch, leaving Melissa to sit in the middle. Surprisingly, Barbara stays silent during the princess movie, but it doesn’t matter; Melissa is still distracted. The only thing she can focus on is how tired she is and how warm it is to be under the blanket this close to Barbara. She doesn’t know that she has fallen asleep until Barbara gently wakes her up. 

“Come on, girlfriend, let’s get you in bed,” Barbara murmurs, helping Melissa sit up. 

Melissa smiles at the nickname before looking at the empty part of the couch. “Where is Amari?”

“Already in bed,” Barbara says, putting a gentle arm around Melissa’s waist. “Now it’s your turn.”

“You are staying right?” Melissa asks, leaning into her friend. 

Barbara doesn’t hesitate in her response. “I’m staying, so try not to snore too loud.”

-~

The room is dark with moonlight creeping in from the curtain Melissa never got around to closing. Barbara should be sleeping, but it eludes her tonight. It always seems to slip through her fingers when she sleeps next to Melissa. They aren't even touching, but Barbara can feel the heat radiating from the redhead. 

She studies Melissa for a moment to paint the view into her memory. Melissa’s hair is splayed across the pillow like uncontrollable flames. Her fingers are curled into the pillow. Her chest rises and falls in even breaths. She is perfectly at peace, and Barbara adores it. 

The more she looks, however, the more she remembers her conversation with Gerald earlier that day. They had been separated for years now, but still called to catch up often. It had been an amicable divorce, stating irreconcilable differences that made it impossible to keep the marriage alive. 

Those differences? Well, Gerald was tired of their lavender marriage. He wanted the freedom to be gay and find the man of his dreams. He wanted it for Barbara, too, but she didn't know how to take the same leap he did. 

His words repeat in her head. We both know we were living a lie, Barbara. Times have changed now, why can't we? 

Barbara reaches out to gently brush away a strand of hair that has fallen in Melissa’s face. She lets her hand linger on the younger woman’s face, and then her heart feels like it is exploding when Melissa smiles. It is a small smile that doesn't wake her, but it gives Barbara the courage to lean forward just enough to place a small kiss on Mel’s forehead. She pulls away her lips, burning, and the admittance that she hasn't leapt, she has fallen right off the cliff. 

(Amari's reference point)

-

Taglist