Am curious about psych ward ghoap, what happens if they ever get out? Do they follow each other? Do they lead different lives that connect again??
This has to be one of my fav ghoap AUs and I’m DYING for more, please!
🥺🥺 thank you so much!! i love this au too, it just hits in such a different way. if i’m honest, i don’t really see them getting out? it’s all about how mental health sometimes can’t be healed, that sometimes you can do all the treatment and take all the medication and it still won’t change anything especially if you have doctors that see you as difficult to treat or think you aren’t doing enough to help yourself (totally not my disabled ass projecting 😅)
i think if they ever were released though (likely bc of spacing issues or funding lbr), ghost would need a heavy support system; an externally controlled structure that helps keep him on a schedule to care for himself and survive even if he still is severely depressed. without that guidance, it would be too easy for him to slip back into that apathy and end up just as bad as when he started (sort of like how i wrote him here)
whereas soap needs something that can keep his emotions and impulse control in check and a physical outlet and a way to keep himself grounded in ways other than self harm. socialising is also very difficult bc he can interpret any action as an insult and he can’t stop himself from rising to it
the only way they would ever be able to be released is if they were released together; they’re too codependent otherwise, too attached to each other, and since their regular therapies already don’t work, there’s no way they would be able to be coached into separation or a healthy relationship. if say ghost was released bc there was nothing else they could do for him but soap was forced to stay bc he’s a danger to himself and others, ghost would never get out of bed again and slowly waste away and soap’s anger would consume him to the point of prison time. i don’t think he would kill someone, not intentionally, but with ghost taken away from him, he would absolutely beat someone so badly that it comes close
but that’s where the irony comes in; the specific support they need is exactly what they give each other. soap is happy to help wash, feed and force ghost to work out bc it allows him to have things to do with clear rewards; it’s not as abstract as a garden that may not grow or impersonal as building something he can’t fit in his flat. every action has an immediate effect; he can see ghost is full, can see he is clean, can see his muscles grow. it’s also an effort; on top of working out, hauling a 90+ kilo, over 6 foot man around when he can’t get out of bed isn’t light work and that physical exertion goes far in keeping his emotions in check (so long as nothing happens to ghost; someone giving him a dirty look at his appearance or on days he doesn’t talk is a guaranteed trigger)
and for soap, ghost is the steady presence he needs when he feels out of control and explosive. he’ll get cut off at the grocery store and instead of crawling over the trolley to bash their head in, he’ll take one look at ghost and see how little he gives a shit about it that he can push that anger back down. and if he can’t, then ghost is there to put a hand on his shoulder and redirect his attention to something else. it still does so much for him that if he does explode, it won’t send ghost running; ghost isn’t afraid of him or his anger, knows that even if he’s the subject of his rage it will still blow over and he will never actually hurt him. knowing ghost will always be there, that he won’t lose him the first time he messes up, helps keep him calm, makes him unafraid of his meltdowns so he doesn’t try to suppress them which always just made them worse
is it healthy to hinge all your healing on a single person? hell no. but nothing about them is healthy to begin with and we need to get all the happiness we can out of this world
BABE DONT HIDE THIS MAGGGICCCCCC
i’m so bad at putting stuff in my tags it’s my curse 😫😫 also price being recovered from his agoraphobia (and technically being the mentally healthiest of them all but don’t tell him that) so he knows a few tips and tricks to help gaz and that’s all that’s kept gaz going this far bc he can barely get through the day without feeling like he’s going insane; the constant need to check and reassure and prove, the constant anxiety and images and the weight of feeling like he’s evil incarnate bc of the thoughts in his head, never able to trust himself or his mind or his memory bc what was real and what was an intrusive thought? he doesn’t know anymore and if it wasn’t for price seeing the signs the very few times he ran into him outside the gym, he would’ve topped himself years ago to protect the world from himself
price being that blend of all their disorders but just so happened to get lucky with his combo of meds and therapy and pure spite that he latched onto healing with his teeth and demanded it all to work for him. maybe he also has a type of personality disorder which is how he can relate to soap’s anger as well as ghost’s depression, his agoraphobia stemming more from self-preservation bc while he isn’t as explosive as soap, he knew without a doubt that he was going to end up killing someone some day; it was only a matter of someone catching him on the wrong day and his anger would consume him. he wishes he could say it made him blackout, that it was so all-encompassing that he lost time and it was only when he came back to himself that he realised what he’d done. it’s what he heard time and again in group therapy from the other poor bastards trying not to become murderers
but price is no liar
he always knew what he was doing; was cripplingly aware of every second of the rage taking over and the carnage he left in its wake. there was no firey blank, no sudden realisation; only the knowledge that the blood on his knuckles and the smear left on the pavement has done nothing to ease the cold rage in his heart
his therapist kept him out of prison, suggested he go to the gym (with the strict advice to sink his fists into bags only) and it was eventually her advice that swayed him into buying said gym when it went under. it was threefold; he won’t lose his routine, his “safe space” as much as he fucking hates the term. he won’t have to find a new gym with new trainers and new fighters that never knew when to pick their battles and leave him well enough alone for their own sake. and it also gave him a greater sense of control, of responsibility; he couldn’t just stay in his flat, he had to open the gym and if he didn’t, he would lose money, eventually lose the gym and his flat and then he would have nowhere left to hide anyway so get off your fuckin’ ass, john, and go open the damn doors
Tentatively picking up your Barbies and playing with them
OCD Gaz who speaks in qualifiers and backdoors his way into being quite a good and sensitive personal trainer because of it - “I’m not saying this because of any appearance factors, but you’d genuinely benefit from ___ workout” “You know your body better than I do, but a protein shake would do more for you than a sports drink” “I don’t want to assume, but-“ “This is coming from a place of good intent, so-“ type thing
And following, OCD Gaz who gets a bit rocked by completely unfuckwithable Ghost. He’ll mince over and offer a bit of advice to the huge fuckoff specter at the squat rack and follow it with those obligatory disclaimers only to be met with Ghost’s flat eyes and a ‘talk too much, mate’. With Soap the verbal belly-showing helps him not flare up but Ghost is just fully not interested. Give him the advice and not the self-effacement. And when he does that and the world doesn’t end, Gaz genuinely gets a bit Woah 😶 it Worked
