I wish I were a tree

always so embarassing when u have the most emotionally explosive night ever & are convinced ur just turning into the joker And then the next day ur period starts. Like nvm

This post today is more than twice as old as Tumblr itself was when this post was originally made.

I think it’s so funny how we have to speak to men like preschoolers when it comes to having empathy for women. like hey buddy… I know you think girls are icky :( but remember your mommy? your mommy is a girl! and then they’re like ohhhh… mommy IS a girl.. and I do like mommy… this is starting to come together

men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..

You obviously know nothing about men if this is what you think they say

Men will see a mouse and eat it

No they won’t because why would anyone eat a mouse that’s stupid not all men are bad and not all men are stupid you may have had a bad experience with a man but not all men are bad granted there bad men but instantly accusing all men as bad is immature I’m dating a man and he is nowhere near stupid and I know for a fact that he won’t eat a mouse and in pretty sure I could name at least five other men that won’t do something as immature as that and saying that a man will see a mouse and eat it won’t get you a anywhere with a man if anything it will drive them away.

A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer

World Heritage Post

why r u using the word corn instead of porn on tumblr.com i just saw full dick n balls 2 posts up ur good

(attempting to impress a girl at a party) i was in a saw trap. (remembers that girls like strength) and i wasn’t hurt at all. (remembers that girls like sensitivity.) but i was emotionally scarred. (remembers that details are important to a story) because i pushed a guy into a wood chipper.

I’d have to wait months or even years for another chance to reblog this, so why the fuck not?

TODAY

THANK WHATEVER COSMIC BEING IS OUT THERE THAT THIS CAME UPON MY DASH HAPPY THURSDAY THE 20TH!!!!

happy Thursday the 20th guys

HAPPY THURSDAY THE 20TH @hellsite-hall-of-fame

“Genuin contempt should transcend provincial bigotries” is such a banger of a reply.

Reblog if won't let not being a bigot stop you from being a hater

sex is kind of weird though right?

I am so glad that the word blorbos exists now. It’s so much more evocative and accurate than “comfort character”. Like, they’re different things. He doesn’t bring me comfort, he makes my hands itchy and I want to polish him with pledge. I want to put him in a Pringle’s tube and shake him. I want to brush his hair and put little shoes on him like a Bratz doll. That’s a blorbo.

Thousands of naked women were dancing upon my grave, there was a deafening howling, and the more they stumped upon the mucky ground, blood began oozing from their feet covering the soil resembling the barrel of grapes, the women having bronze, silver, and gold vases dipping into soil that now look like red wine.

Thousands of naked women were dancing upon my grave, there was a deafening howling, and the more they stumped upon the mucky ground, blood began oozing from their feet covering the soil resembling the barrel of grapes, the women having bronze, silver, and gold vases dipping into soil that now look like red wine.