Bleargh

never shouldve smoked that shit, now i’m on the july 17th 1995 cover of newsweek

Happy 30th birthday bisexuality

#fuck off beelzebub my cat has dibs

My cats are legit part of my grounding strategy for when I have sleep hallucinations. As part of my sleep paralysis, I “see” corpses in the bed next to me on a frequent basis, or shadow men lurking in the doorway; if there is a cat blissfully, softly snoring at the foot of the bed, I know I am safe, despite what my brain is trying to conjure.

the sound of my door opening slowly, but theres no one there. my cat. somethings clawing at the walls, glass or window screens, cats. somethings fucking licking my toe in the middle of the night, my fucking cat again. nothing can hurt me its all cat

Do cats make the ghosts go away? Nah. They just make you stop being scared.

the situation with harry potter is kind of unprecedented in some ways imo because it is maybe the largest media franchise in history to be created & owned by a single person who still has direct creative control over it. who is also a billionaire with significant cultural/political influence. like the usual "no ethical consumption under capitalism" type excuses shatter on impact when the bigoted author in question is logging onto twitter every day saying explicitly that when you buy the tim hortons ravenclaw donut she is using your donut money to fund the genocide of trans people. like with big franchises usually there's at least a little more diffusion of responsibility than this

They weren't lying, that sink can worst

yesterday i had a nice southern teenager call me "ma'am" and then look at me and go, in a well-meaning tone, "uhhhh, if you go by ma'am. sorry if not." and i had to be like yeah man ma'am is fine. appreciate you being inclusive though. i could almost see the little warning pop up in his UI-- hold up! people with blue hair often have pronouns. are you sure you want to address this individual with a gendered term?

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

🧛 nathing vrong vith me

I think some of y'all would really benefit from learning the scope of power of various political offices.

Are you trying to tell me my local schoolboard doesn't have the ability to declare a unilateral ceasefire with iran?

If they try hard enough and are pure of heart... still no.

My kids are still quite young (under school age), and I've been careful to try to make sure they only have kind role models. This has resulted in typical mean language being absent from their vocabulary, such as "you're stupid/ugly/I hate you", but they've started inventing their own ways to be mean lol, such as "you're not my brother anymore, you're a stranger to me now", and hearing that out of a toddler's mouth is so cutting lol

This is how I found out that Ada Lovelace was Lord Byrons daughter

Official Post of Massachusetts

All good My Little Pony names sound either like euphenisms for gay people or euphenisms for hard drugs. You could've had a pony with a handlebar moustache named Fruit Garland and his energetic wife Sparkle Snow and nobody would've even blinked. Due to the sparkle snow.

i know this is tumblr and we’re all playing perverts but i just think some of you would be excellent company for a late night walk and a four hour conversation about absolutely nothing