gerryrigged

On March 1, @rubynye (aka Ny Martin) collapsed in her kitchen due to sudden cardiac arrest. She was declared brain dead and passed on March 3. She was 50 years old.

Ny was a singularly talented person. She was not only a gifted writer, singer, poet, chef and artist, she had the ability to make you feel like the most important person in the world just by smiling at you.

I first encountered her in 2009, on the Star Trek XI kinkmeme on LJ. I was in AWE of her wordsmithery. She could so carefully identify and communicate moments that I was intimidated by her immediately. I didn’t know she even knew who I was until she used my head canon in a story. I was gobsmacked.

She would tell you she felt the same way about me, but I always felt like I was honored to call her my friend.

I feel like it’s important to say that Ny was a fan of color, and as a Black Woman often faced down things in fandom that were dehumanizing, demoralizing, or just enraging. I learned how to be a better antiracist from her, how to be a better friend, and how to be a better creator in a fandom with non-white characters. She was sometimes rightfully, righteously furious, and she taught me how to sit with her in those moments without trying to fix them. I always felt honored to have earned that trust.

Ny loved so much. She adored children, and would often ask after my nibblings. She cooked for everyone, and it was common for her to just…mail people food. Here, rainbow fudge. Here, hemp butter. Here, a Jamaican fruitcake. When she came to visit me years ago, she insisted on cooking for me before she left, so I’d have dinners she made. She loved sending people things, both in her millions of bcced emails and in the mail. I have so many postcards of things she saw that made her think of me. She loved mythology, especially Minoans, and she loved space. She loved so much.

One time she printed out a story I wrote and hand annotated it with glee before mailing it to me. It’s one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever given me.

I could always ask her anything, be it a question about a Black character’s hair or a question about quince jam. I could tell her any crazy idea I had and she would gleefully play in the space.

Long time readers might not know, but it may be obvious in retrospect; when I needed to give Sam Wilson a little sister in Struggle in the Architecture, I named her Ruby in honor of Ny.

Her queue is still going here, and I think many of us are dreading the day it runs out.

If you knew Ny and would like to talk to other people who loved her about your memories and share the things you would have shared with her, we have a discord server, and you can contact me for the link.

If you would like to help her partner pay for her burial, there is a gofundme.

If you want to honor her memory, tell someone something joyful. Donate to a local food pantry.

There will be an online memorial April 12, 1pm EDT. You can sign up for announcements via a Google group: https://groups.google.com/g/nyani-announce

Thank you for saying everything that I wish I could have said but haven't been able to get the spoons to.

lemonsharks and I want to put together a fanzine dedicated to Ny. We decided it should be called BWEE! The Book of Ny.

To that end, I set up a discord server to collect stories, poems, recipes, artwork, memories, and messages in a bottle that we wish we could send on to her as we find things that make us think of her, and we think would make her smile or laugh.

DICK GRAYSON/TIM DRAKE: tim is like if dick got a redo with all the ways he wasn't a good older brother to jason. i think he trusts tim the most out of anyone in the family and they have so much respect for each other. they encourage each other to grow and do better.

DICK GRAYSON/JASON TODD: The angst. THE ANGST! Dick was not the brother he could have been, but Jason says he was better than Dick gave him credit for. Jason broke down when he thought Dick was dead, and when Dick encountered the Joker after Jason's death, he beat him to death with his bare hands. Let Dick's love fix Jason.

#Dick stayed away from Tim because of Jason #and then they started to get closer #despite the death of Jason looming above him #Tim is his partner his equal #Tim models himself after Dick so much #Dick and Tim can always count on each other #Red Robin the comic is so tragic because both chose to handle the situation of bruces death in the oppposite way they usually do #and are devastated when they clash #and can't help each other #and yet it's still fine #Dick catches Tim and they make up so easily #no hard feelings #I'd put so many comic panels here if I could remember where there are from #Dick holding Tim after he was tempted to get lazarus water and telling him not to do it #that it's not worth it #augh #they both know the darkness the other holds and the lengths they could go to (< prev tags)

beautifully put! they love each other so much. here, have a bunch of panels/propaganda

tim freaking out over dick's safety:

dick freaking out over tim's safety:

actually just go here for more because dick is absolutely for sure 100% normal about tim and not stressed at all

tim fanboying over dick (did someone say "lifelong crush and sexual awakening? yes. it was me.):

dick getting jealous when tim kicks him out of the room in favor of ted kord:

the clinging hug and kiss to tim's hair as seen at the top of the poll 💔:

here's how much dick loves tim, and how much faith tim has in dick:

or alternatively we can ANGST that tim is a liar and his faith in dick is broken because rejection, heartbreak, divorce era, etc. etc. (they do bounce back from the events in early red robin but it's fun angst to wallow in):

I'm running out of room for panels but there are so many more, it's just dick/tim left right and center

there's all the fun they have together, the teasing and gossiping and roughhousing and laughing and playing tag in the halls of wayne enterprises; there's dick rolling up on his motorcycle to pick tim up from school like a sexy mysterious older boyfriend cliche; there's dick putting his hands in tim's hair at every opportunity; there's watching out for each other in the endless disaster zone of no man's land; there's joker's last laugh which is at least as much about tim as it is jason because dick gets told tim is dead and dives straight off the deep end; there's tim trying to hold dick back and comfort him when he's in a guilt spiral after jll; there's dick being "the person tim can call" when he's feeling suicidal, and the fact that tim does call and dick picks up; there's dick calling tim over and over when jack died and leaving desperate voicemails when tim wouldn't pick up; there are all the times tim acts as a hype man against dick's insecurities and tries to reassure him he's needed and valued (and loved).

they can do cute and fluffy, they can do unhealthy codependence, they can do romantic devotion, they can do creepy stalking, they can do domesticity, they can do angst and jealousy and possessiveness, they can do obliviousness and denial and mutual pining, they can do comfort, they can do strife, they can be perfectly in tune or miscommunicate disastrously - they've got such a deep foundation and ~the range~ to get complicated

Together, they pour over what Babs sent them. They follow leads, identify potential threats, and turn up a handful of entirely unrelated inter-apartment rivalries. 

Dick lasts an entire two days before he starts to get bored.

Tim lasts a bit longer. But what starts as him intently sifting through information begins to look less like focus and more like frustration with each passing day.

They’re halfway through day four when Tim finally turns to him and just stares.

“You know we aren't getting anywhere, right?” he asks.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that.”

Tim raises an eyebrow.

Dick comes home a little later and notices Tim is there (his traps, also Tim's suit clue him in) finds him in his bed. Tim just asks Dick to come to sleep. It's an unusual request, sure they've been in situations like this, have cuddled before but usually with a reason.

Dick agrees, after he showers, but they *will* talk about it afterwards.

Tims back to sleeping when he slides into bed. He's careful while climbing in before drawing Tim close.

Sometime later Dick wakes up and quietly admits to himself that he needed this. Had been a while since he actually got to wind down with someone and have some skin contact.

Tim doesn't really elaborate, but Dick understands that he needed it too.

It kind of becomes a thing. Tim will break in sometimes and just slip in bed with him to cuddle. (Making sure to be quiet but *not* stealthy if Dick is already asleep as to not make him alert. He'll wake up anyways no matter what Tim does but one is Dick sleepy enough he doesn't even raise an arm to invite him into bed and the other has him brandishing fists)

Super messy, the faces fought me every step of the way but oh well. I’ve got several pieces of au art to throw up once I clean up the lines, I have one for my Talon Tim and Dick au, one for my time travel au with Tim, Dick, Jason and Damian, and one for an au that isn’t on my au masterlist post for a couple reasons, but I might do ansnother post for au’s in the same vein as that one? Either way, my profile has my current posted fics (both JayTim for now) and my upcoming and future fics (a mix of ships) for anyone curious.

Batman haters fear him

울지마