I guess you might be stuck here... Sorry

i know this is tumblr and we’re all playing perverts but i just think some of you would be excellent company for a late night walk and a four hour conversation about absolutely nothing

(in case no one has said this to you in a while) i am proud of you for continuing to exist when it feels impossible

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

perhaps some will disagree, but i think the world got worse when we changed the colour of the night

ALSO! red light doesn’t fuck up human night vision much so you can go in and out of lit areas without readjusting

i legit miss red lights in cars and appliances n stuff. red city lighting is goated

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People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.