the gentle haze

the  underground  pit  hums  with  restless  engines  and  impatient  egos.  she  had  been  halfway  through  scanning  the  lineup  when  she  heard  scout’s  voice,  cut  clean  through  the  chaos.  she  turns,  slow,  disbelief  flickering.  “ oh  god  ..  don’t  tell  me  you’re— ”  her  gaze  slides  past  her,  catching  the  colors,  the  unmistakable  alignment  of  her  crew.  a  breathless,  almost  incredulous  laugh  escapes  her.  “ you’ve  got  to  be  kidding  me.  you’re  really  on  that  side ? ”  her  smirk  returns,  edged  and  electric.  “ well  ..  this  just  got  interesting. ” 

she steps closer to fane, wiping her hands on a rag that she quickly shoved in her pocket. the corner of her lips quirked up in a smirk and eyebrows arched as the other started to speak " i'm what ? " she teases, hands are placed on her waist " that side ? you meant the best one out of all of the other crews in this hellhole ? then yes. " the laugh that bubbles out of her getting lost as she looks past the blonde to her side of the track " wait, there's no way you are..." she lets her pointed finger finish her question. the expression on fane's features lighting a fire within her, she smiles "it sure did, i think this calls for a bet, don't you ? "

he  watches  her  gather  herself  as  though  the  scene  has  already  resolved  itself  in  a  way  she  has  yet  to  comprehend.  there  is  no  offense  taken  at  the  adjectives  she  throws  at  him,  no  visible  recoil  at  the  accusation  of  excess  or  vanity.  those  words  have  long  since  lost  their  ability  to  penetrate  anything  within  him.  if  anything,  they  register  as  familiar  noise,  predictable  in  cadence,  cyclical  in  origin.  he  has  seen  this  sequence  too  many  times  for  it  to  carry  novelty.  her  sharpened  words,  and  staged  indignation,  the  retreat  framed  as  finality  rather  than  habit.  with  kayla,  departure  was  never  rupture ;  it  was  ritual,  always  circling  back  to  the  same  point  of  return.  he  remains  seated,  composed  in  that  studied  stillness  of  his  as  his  eyes  follow  her  movements.  he  notices  the  earring  only  after  she’s  already  half-dressed  and  he  picks  it  up  without  comment, before  moving  with  measured  ease  to  close  the  distance  just  enough  to  interrupt  her  momentum.  “ almost  missed  this, ”  he  holds  the  earring  out  between  them,  gaze  resting  on  her  for  a  beat  longer  than  necessary.  “ and  now  you’re  free  to  go, ”  he  adds,  calm  as  ever.  “ the  arrangement  continues  either  way. ”  vague,  but  insinuating  the  rent  he  still  pays  for  her  as  an  ongoing  tether  between  them.  a  financial  arrangement  he  deliberately  leaves  intact  so  that  even  in  her  attempts  to  leave,  there  remains  something  structurally  binding  her  to  him.

she was used to getting her way, she knew how to get people doing what she wanted — she would bite and people would recoil — it was second nature to her. but with malcolm it was different his lack of response no matter how much she pushed made her both angry and intrigued. she would always leave frustrated but she would always come back. kayla's hands move from behind her where she was fixing her bra to her sides as he started moving towards her, she stays in place gaze analyzing him as he moves closer only flickering down to his hands when he holds it out. she takes a step closer nose almost touching his as her hand clasps down to his to grab the earring "fuck you." she offers a sickly sweet sardonic smile and turns around. her steps are cut short from his next words "i'm free to go?" kayla spins on the balls of her feet with an arched eyebrow "you think i'm your fucking pet?" she ignores his comment about the agreement, she knows better than to bring attention to it when she's in his face, as much she hated that she needed the help she was very appreciative of it and didn't want to jeopardize it. she starts moving again but to the opposite side than she was before, her feet taking her back to the bed in an attempt of deviance, she sits at the edge and hands gently places her earring back on its home on her ear "i don't think i will, now."

the  femme  in  his  phone  wasn’t  important  enough  to  defend ;  she  was  merely  another  temporary  orbit,  useful  until  familiarity  made  her  easy  to  read.  “ that  supposed  to  bother  me ? ”  he  asks  lightly  as  he  reaches  for  the  phone  after  letting  the  silence  stretch  a  beat  too  long.  “ you  think  humiliating  strangers  on  my  behalf  makes  this  look  casual ? ”  a  reminder  that  they  were  no  longer  together  and  whatever  existed  between  them  now  had  long  since  abandoned  the  structure  of  exclusivity.  her  little  act  implied  entitlement  and  that  was  the  one  thing  he  had  never  actually  offered  her.  he  glances  down  at  the  screen  as  if  checking  the  damage  then  locks  it  without  interest  to  set  it  aside  again.  a  faint  smile  touches  his  mouth,  but  it’s  thinner  now  and  sharpened  at  the  edges.  “ self-esteem  has  very  little  to  do  with  it, ”  he  replies,  gaze  settling  on  her  with  composed  familiarity.  “ but  if  you  need  to  convince  yourself  this  means  less  to  you  than  it  does  to  me,  i  can  understand  why  that  version’s  easier  to  keep. ”  he  settles  at  the  edge  of  the  mattress,  close  enough  for  familiarity  but  far  enough  to  strip  the  scene  of  anything  resembling  intimacy.  “ interesting  timing  for  a  declaration  of  indifference, ”  his  eyes  trace  over  the  way  she’s  still  wrapped  in  his  shirt.  “ most  people  leave  before  they  start  explaining  why  they  don’t  care. ”

the blonde's eyes roll once more, if she kept that going they would stay stuck on the back of her head " and who said that was for your benefit ? " she questions " that poor girl needs to know she should run as far as she can from you. " the muscles in her face twitch lightly as he reminds her of their standing, as if she would need that to know where exactly where they are. she doesn't demand exclusivity from herself when it comes to one another and hell not even from him but there was a need for control she had long lost between them and would be damned if she accepted so easily that he would look for solace it in other people. gaze narrows at him, fingers play with her bracelet to keep her hands from doing something she might regret "god, you're so full of yourself. it's disgusting. " the distance between them was enough to tell her she needed to grasp for some semblance of dignity before he destroyed it all " fine. " kayla declares pulling herself up from the bed and reaching for her distracted skirt on the floor " i'll leave and then you can know how much i don't give a shit. " head turns to look at him over her shoulder " thank you for scratching an itch, it's all that you're good for anyway. "

he  lets  her  request  hang  in  the  air  as  though  it  doesn’t  merit  resistance,  before  moving  with  unhurried  precision,  stepping  out  of  the  disarray  of  sheets  to  pull  on  his  briefs  and  reassemble  himself.  he  retrieves  his  phone,  unlocking  it  with  a  casual  face  scan,  and  the  glow  reveals  a  raunchy  message  from  another  woman.  a  faint,  almost  private  smile  touches  his  mouth  before  he  turns  it  toward  her  and  lets  her  take  it.  “ is  that  what  you  tell  yourself  after,  or  before ? ”  his  voice  is  amused,  almost  gentle  in  its  edge,  gaze  lingering  in  a  composed  way.  “ bored  people  don’t  usually  negotiate  their  reasons  out  loud. ”  flat  and  unbothered,  because  what  they  had  wasn’t  built  on  exclusivity  —  they  were  simply  intervals  in  a  cycle  he  already  understood  too  well.  “ but  you  can  keep  going  if  it  helps  you  feel  better. ”  he  already  knows  she’ll  be  back. 

her hand hangs expectedly in the air as he goes to bring the phone. gaze studies his movements, face hardens as she catches the smile that the text brings to his lips and she rips the phone from him. the text she reads brings a expression of disgust to her features " whore. " she mumbles under her breathe before she started typing a reply to the other woman on his phone, satisfied with her message she sends it and turns to him with a proud smile throwing the phone at the bed next to her. perfectly shaped eyebrow quirks at his words " why, are you asking if i need to psych myself up to sleep with you ? i thought your self-esteem was better than that." she offers, resting her back on the headboard " there was no negotiating happening, it's just a fact. " kayla shrugs her words nonchalant when she knows very well there was a lot of debating within herself before she found herself in his bed " please there's only few things that help make me feel better and none of them you can give me. so why would i keep going ? "

"i hope you weren't expecting me to sit around wallowing over you screwing some other guy ," looks at her expectedly . "because if that's the case then yeh' ," he laughs sardonically , "you're fuckin' delusional ."

" no... yes ? NO, no. " she exclaims her eyes thining in thought as she watched him " fuck if i know what i was expecting, i mean that was the deal, wasn't it ? " she rolls her shoulders back, his laugh feeling her with a sense of dread " i'm not delusional. " only hopeful. doesn't let that part out of her head doesn't want to push when she knows there isn't where to go " what should i expect then ? can you tell me because i don't know what we are doing anymore. "

the  room  still  carried  the  residue  of  them  —  dim  light,  disheveled  sheets,  the  quiet  after  impulse  mistaken  for  intimacy.  malcolm  glances  at  the  screen,  a  message  still  faintly  glowing  from  a  different  name,  then  back  at  her.  “ that  text  doesn’t  change  anything.  you  already  knew  what  i  was,  kayla, ”  his  gaze  lingers,  a  faint  smile  touching  his  mouth,  “ and  you  still  came  back  anyway. ” 

her hand reach for the closest shirt she could find pulling it over her head as her eyes rolled at his words " doesn't it ? " head tilts to the side a smugly vacant smile taking place onto her lips " then let me read it. " the air heavy with reminders of what they had just done, the scene following a repeat pattern that kayla had grown acostumed to and seeks out constantly " oh i know exactly what you are. " the blonde moves closer to him the smile back on her features " don't flatter yourself, i'm here because i was bored and it's so fucking easy to make you do what i want. " kayla clings to any sense of comand in the situation.

“ you weren't supposed to hear that ... ”

eyebrow quirks up at her words, corner of his lips twiching up as he moved closer " oh i wasn't ? but then how would i know about your undying love for me if i wasn't supposed to hear that ? " he teases " next time you can just cut off the middle man, " he throws a pointed look to the person she had been talking to " just share your thoughts directly. " he offers a wink.