Gender is a game and I’m winning

I compared my primary blog to my living room. To continue the metaphor, I first thought to call this blog my bedroom, but that wouldn’t really catch the vibe. It’s more like a relaxed and unconstrained atmosphere where I talk about more personal things with near-strangers in a very trusting setting.

Therefore: Welcome to my ✨basement party room✨!

You can find more general things about me in my linked post.

I consider every aspect of myself queer and use labels not to define myself, but more for convenience. When I say I use any pronouns, what I mean is that pronouns are just words to me, and I don’t identify with any of them. If you need some kind of visual guidance, this is what I more or less look like:

I prefer to look androgynous, but if you gave me a form about my gender that said “male”, “female”, “both”, and “other”, I’d select all of these options. Important: Not “neither”. I’m all the gender there is and at once 😅 I have a very loving, sensitive, and, if we were to use binary boxes, “feminine” side that is all fluffy and kind of cutesy, but I also love to be a bastion of genuine calm to others. Then, of course, I’m a goofy class clown others roll their eyes at, so … good luck 😅

As my bio reads, I’m pan (pansexual and panromantic) and polyamorous. Poly is an inherent thing for me—if I were in a relationship with one person only and would never ever date or see anyone else and be totally happy with that, I still would not want that relationship to be classified as monogamous because “having the option” is important to me. I call myself pan because in the 2000s I was told “Bi means two and pan means everyone”, so I leapt at pan and, even though the definitions have shifted, I stuck with it because now I’m simply used to that label 🤷 As I said, labels are for convenience, not to define myself 🤷

This friend of mine is in a vee relationship with two guys. For better understanding, let’s call him Matthew and his partners Jonas and Tim.

Tim also is in a vee relationship—with Matthew and a woman we’ll just call Anna. Like this.

Now, Jonas and Tim are metamours. And Anna and Matthew are metamours too.

But I was wondering, is there a term for Jonas and Anna? Because Matthew and Tim are part of a big friend group, so sometimes when this friend group meets, Jonas and Anna will be there too.

If there isn’t a term, I think there should be, because Matthew and Tim are “the friend group couple”, and Jonas and Anna are both “the partner of a friend”. This “overlapping vee” makes their dynamics different, somehow. 🤔