Uchi

Later that evening, she told me she'd love to swap bodies with me (I was pre T, pre op and didn't bind). I told her I didn't understand why she'd want to have the body of a "disgusting man".

She called me transmisogynistic.

Sharing this tag because holy shit

Fetishisation by trans women who say they hate us and we're trash BUT want to shagg us... I'd like to say I'm surprised, but I'm not because I've been hit on by at LEAST 3 trans women who said they were lesbians (and I, but that's me, wouldn't feel comfortable with a lesbian woman going out and/or having sex with me) and told me I "could make them pansexual". Or the one twice my age who, in the same LGBT center, grabbed me by the chocker I was wearing and said she'd gladly "put me on a leash."

Or my ex's girlfriend who told me, "I always dreamed of having a 3-some, I don't like men, but you have a c*nt. I'd love to pass you around."

this is 100% the case i see it literally all the time

im very lucky i think to live in a city where there are a LOT of very active transmem in our community most of my friends are transmen but i know in other cities and states trans communities are often skewed more femme than masc to the extent denver nonbinary group iirc is called the trans feminine and nonbinary group which is patently gross and ive also intimately known trans women who act the way this post describes

9/10 i adamantly reject the idea that talking abt agab in relation to trans ppl is helpful but in this particular case i will say i think an aspect of this is being socialized as men in a sexist misogynistic patriarchal society a lot of trans women will go through the process of discovering their gender and then decide they they cant be perpetrating patriarchal ideals being misogynistic and sexist because theyre women now!!! and that its transphobic to imply otherwise

i call bullshit if part of your gender journey as a trans person doesnt HEAVILY involve deconstructing gender and unlearning engrained toxic masculinity then youre part of the problem

i do think trans men have a similar journey sometimes as they too are raised in a sexist misogynistic patriarchal society so the second they transition theres a tendency to act on those patriarchal ideals and turn all of the toxic masculinity that had harmed them growing up back onto others

so it isnt just a transfemme issue but i think that unfortunately its very common for trans femme people to be introduced to the concept of being trans through porn and that pipeline results in some really skewed and damaging sexist ideas without someone around to help our baby queers unlearn the damage society has done to us we are just going to get more and more of this which means we cant enable bad behavior because we are afraid of calling it out (even when a trans woman does it)

and it’s interesting to see the ways people excuse that harm, whether it’s claiming that their transition absolves them or their agab absolves them. we go back to the patriarchal idea that women/femaleness is pure and innocent. of course saying all people who were assigned female at birth are inherently less able to express complex emotion would be sexist if it was a cis man saying it, but if it’s a trans woman saying it then it’s just a commentary on how no one can ever truly understand the experience of being trans and experiencing transphobia like trans women. of course saying all women inherently play the victim and are overly emotional and lie for attention would be sexist if a cis man said it, but if it’s a trans man men it’s fine because he literally grew up a girl so he’s allowed to say it. whether you use femaleness as a biological status or as an identity, if you use it to absolve you of harm you caused or are causing, you’re still perpetuating patriarchal rhetoric.

They refused to answer me asking about if they included men who have periods.

When transmascs share instances of positivity to remind each other that the way we are treated isn’t all bad, it’s then used as proof of the whole of transmasc experiences being this way, and that transmascs are not oppressed as a whole.

When transmascs share instances of harm done to transmascs to raise awareness that transmascs are harmed directly within our societies, it’s used as proof that we are taking up too much room in conversations because the harm we face “isn’t bad enough”.

When transmascs share instances of outright murder of members of our community to show that no, transmasc issues are not somehow “lesser” because “we aren’t dying” because we are dying, it’s used as proof that we are trauma dumping and trying to make other people feel sorry for us—look at these AFABs being whiny and hysterical and trying to portray themselves as victims. Or that it isn’t specific enough to us so we should shut up and let other people speak for us.

Transmascs cannot speak about our experiences without being touted as an example of why transmascs as a whole should shut up.

maybe this is just me, but the author shouldn't have to hold your hand & tell you explicitly that what's happening in the story is bad.

Sometimes, the narration of the story portrays it as good, or "romanticizes" it because the character narrating is a terrible person. That doesn't mean the author condones it, it means the *character* thinks it's okay!

You should have enough critical thinking skills & media literacy to reach that conclusion on your own, and if you don't, I recommend Disney Junior for your viewing pleasure, rather than adult content.

Don't worry, they'll tell you exactly the lesson they want you to learn over there, in painfully explicit detail.