⋆｡°✩ Gem ⋆｡°✩ @gem-writes - Tumblr Blog

One-Hit Wonder

- Part 3- “True”

Summary: When faced with the hardest decision of his life, Eddie drives around Hawkins, trying to find the answers he seeks. While reflecting on his several years-long friendship with you, he worries that he won't be able to be what you and your baby needs. Until WSQK plays a familiar song that Eddie knew well- your song. The soundtrack of exactly how he felt about you- and he wonders how he hadn't seen the truth until now.

A/N: Tumblr cut me off because this part was too long. So, to be continued in part 4….

────────

“Eddie? Are you okay?”

You stood nervously as you watched Eddie completely blank out, staring straight ahead as his world felt like it was crashing down around him.

“Eds?” You call out “Can you say something?”

He felt like he was short-circuiting. Nothing was making sense. How did things go from him suspecting that you were screwing around with Steve to finding out that you were carrying his child? This felt like a bad episode of The Twilight Zone and he had a starring role.

No. This could not be happening.

“Eddie?” Steve calls out, still holding his bleeding nose. While Eddie was breaking down, he had to have grabbed a kitchen towel to try and stop the blood.

“What the fuck is there to say?” Eddie explodes, his voice coming out with a harsh laugh as he begins to shake his head, rocking anxiously.

“You’re sure?” He looks at you with glassy eyes. You couldn’t tell if he was about to cry or not but you noticed his hands shaking. You don’t speak. You just nod.

“Fuck!” Eddie shouts, kicking Steve’s coffee table with his boot. Eddie jumps up from the couch. Where did he plan to go? He didn’t know but he was too antsy to stay seated.

“Fuuuck…” He agonizes, rubbing his face with his ringed hands as he paces back and forth- completely fired up. “Okay. Okay, okay, okay. So, fuck, what are you going to do with it? The-“

Eddie couldn’t even fix his mouth to say the word.

He turns towards you expectantly, eyes full of worry as he looked for you to come up with some way to fix this.

“I’m keeping it, Eddie.” You answer, your voice calm and steady- sure of yourself. You weren’t expecting what he was going to say next.

“You’re keeping it?” Eddie guffaws, feeling as though he was going crazy “Are you insane? You’ve got to be joking.”

“She’s not.” Steve replies, firmly advocating for you. “That’s the decision she’s made, Eddie. She’s been through a lot these past few weeks. Shit that you don’t even know about, man.”

“And how the fuck do you know?” Eddie scoffs, looking at Steve in disgust.

“Because I’ve been there the whole time, Eddie. Where the fuck were you?” Steve challenges.

“Really, Harrington? You really wanna start this shit?” Eddie threatens “How the fuck do you even know about this before I did?”

“You’re lucky that you even know now.” Steve retorts “She wasn’t going to tell you. I told her when she found out that it wouldn’t have been a good idea to keep this from you but, seeing how you’re acting right now, maybe she’s justified.”

Eddie turns to you, a look of hurt and betrayal on his face. “You weren’t going to tell me?”

“Eddie-“

“How long have you known?” Eddie questions, staring at you in disbelief “How long have you been keeping this a secret from me?”

“I’m eight weeks pregnant. I just found out two weeks ago.” You confirm, looking at Eddie whose expression was unreadable.

“You sat on this for two weeks?” He replies incredulously “Wow. Wow, okay. Nice to know that I was the last one clued in here.”

“Eddie, I didn’t tell you because the original plan wasn’t to keep it. I was going to have an abortion.”

“And you didn’t?” Eddie questions.

“No, I didn’t. I couldn’t.” You admit.

“Well, I think that’s really fucking selfish of you.” Eddie snarls, shaking his head at you in disapproval- in shame.

“What?” You ask, shocked.

“I mean, are you even thinking? This isn’t just about you! This is my life too! You didn’t even talk to me about this. What if I don’t want kids? Have you maybe stopped to think about that when you went around making all of these decisions?”

“Eddie, are you fucking serious, man?” Steve replies, completely stunned.

“No, Eddie.” You snap “I didn’t think about it at all. I didn’t think about what you would want. I was thinking about the fucking baby I’m going to have. Christ, do you even hear yourself?”

“Listen, sweetheart, I’m not trying to be an asshole but you really need to think here. We’re twenty and twenty-two. Nowhere even close to having our shit all figured out and you want to add a baby into this? When it’s already fucking complicated as all fuck? Jesus Christ, don’t you see how fucking stupid that would be?”

“But using me as a rebound to get over Chrissy wasn’t fucking stupid, right?” You quip “Now we’ve got something to show for it and you want to be mad at me? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“You don’t get it, sweetheart. This isn’t something that you can just decide to do and expect everything to be okay. This affects everything. Don’t you get that? How are we going to afford to do this? Do you know how much it costs to raise a kid? ‘Cause I sure as fuck don’t.”

“Well Eddie,” you sigh “I guess that makes you lucky because you can just opt out if you want to.”

“Hold on.” Eddie says, putting up his hands as if he’s trying to pause everything “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I’m giving you a choice here, Eddie.” You start, ready to lay out the ultimatum that’s been weighing heavily on you for weeks “Whether you like it or not, I’m keeping this baby. There’s no changing that. But it’s up to you if you want to be around. Frankly, if you ran off and never spoke to me again, I wouldn’t blame you. It would hurt but I’d fucking get it. Or you can choose to be a part of this baby’s life. Either way, this is happening. But this part…it’s on you now.”

“You just don’t fucking get it.” Eddie barks out a laugh, throwing his hands up “It’s not that simple! This is complicated shit!”

“Doesn’t have to be.” You add “You need to make a decision. Are you in or are you out?”

────────

June 1979

Eddie was almost finished, enraptured by the mythical world of Mordor. He had been reading for days, barely even taking a break to put it down to eat or sleep. He was enamored, obsessed, and dying to know how things ended.

He was sitting in a beach chair at Hawkins Community Pool, his nose practically touching the pages as he read from a brand new copy of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. It had taken a lot of allowance money and a long bike trek to the nearest Walden Books which was two towns over, but it was worth it- oh so worth it.

The words on the page served as the closest thing that he could get to an escape from the horrors of Hawkins, Indiana. A way to turn off his mind and be anywhere else but there- a town where he was a spectacle. He had none other than the brilliant mind of J.R.R Tolkien to thank.

He was so engrossed in the world of Hobbits and wizards and cursed objects that it somehow made him feel a little less lonely- mostly distracting him from the fact that he had no friends and that no one was even interested in being one. At least he had fantasy and fiction- two best pals that would never let him down.

But, to Eddie’s dismay, he still found himself yearning for something more- a partner-in-crime, a companion, or a confidante. A Samwise Gamgee to his Frodo Baggins. Someone to stand by his side even if he had to travel to Mordor to toss cursed jewelry into the depths of a volcano. Eddie needed a friend more than anyone would ever know. Yet, it seemed, that no one would ever come. Until that hot July day.

Unbeknownst to Eddie, he had been watched for the last hour by a group of boys- staking him out on the other side of the pool deck as he minded his own business, turning pages in his novel as if he hadn’t a care in the world. Eddie bothered nothing and no one. Yet, for some reason, that set off the pack of jocks- wanting a target and their eyes were set on him.

You had been quietly observing Eddie Munson since you moved to Hawkins that spring, intrigued by the quiet and mysterious nature of him. You didn’t know much about him if anything at all. Just that he lived with his uncle in a trailer in the Forest Hills Trailer Park- only a few blocks away from the house you had moved into with your parents.

You saw him ride his bike through your neighborhood a few times throughout the past few months, constantly angering your elderly neighbor Mr O’Dell by cutting through his yard on his way home- crushing his flower beds in the process. You would sit on your front porch, reading from a book as you would hear the old man bellow, trying to chase after Eddie on his bike. He was always too fast and Mr. O’Dell always ended up in a coughing fit after over-exerting himself.

Your mother would just shake her head in disapproval as she watered the lawn- muttering to herself that “Wayne Munson needed to get that boy under control.” But you silently disagreed, turning back to your book after watching Eddie turn the corner on his bike and disappear. You liked Eddie Munson just the way that he was.

You hadn’t seen him ride through your neighborhood very much for the past couple of months- stolen glimpses here and there. As you paid attention to him from across the swimming pool, you took stock in just how long his hair had grown since you had discovered that he existed back in the spring.

It had grown in quite a bit from the previously buzzed style that he sported when you first laid eyes on him. Now it was growing in shaggy and slightly disheveled- hints of curls starting to take shape. You didn’t know why but you immediately thought that it was more “like him.” More suitable. Which was ridiculous to think because you didn’t know him at all- especially not enough to judge whether or not something seems more “like him” or not. What you did know was that he was beautiful- intriguing. Not like anyone else around Hawkins.

You were so wrapped up in your thoughts of him that you almost didn’t notice Tommy Hagan and his douche brigade headed right towards Eddie with a mischievous air about them. They were up to no good- you knew it.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” You caught the sounds of Tommy Hagan’s voice, his tone mocking as he approached Eddie in his pool chair- getting his attention as he looks up from his book. Noticing that he was being surrounded by the pack of jockstraps.

“Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson.” Tommy sneers, causing his cronies to begin snickering behind him- sheep without a mind of their own “Whatcha got there, Munson? The satanic bible?” Tommy patronizes.

Eddie looks down at his paperback, resting in his lap as he sat in confusion.

“No…” Eddie answers, as if it were obvious- as if Tommy and his gang is dense. Which, to be fair, they probably were. “It’s The Fellowship of the Ring. It’s a book about-“ But before Eddie could explain the novel and its premise, Tommy Hagan snatches it off of his lap- causing Eddie to lunge for it.

Oh no, you thought, this wasn’t going to end well.

“Really? ‘Cause it looks pretty satanic to me.” Tommy argues as he flips through the book. Eddie watches- looking helpless.

“What do you plan on doing? Cursing the whole town?” He asks “Sacrificing everyone to the devil like the freak you are? I bet that’s what happened to your parents, isn’t it freak? You sacrifice them or something?”

“What?” Eddie replies, dumbfounded as he shakes his head “N-no! I don’t even know how-“

“Sure you don’t, freak. You expect us to believe that?” Tommy patronizes, waving Eddie’s book in his face “You know, I should really just destroy this- do all of Hawkins a favor.”

“Please don’t.” Eddie says, staring at Tommy as he continues tossing his book around.

“Give us one reason why I shouldn’t, freak.” He teases. But before Eddie could open his mouth to give a response, Tommy had already placed his hands on both ends of Eddie’s book- splitting it right down the middle.

You cringe as the tearing sounds meet your ears, screwing your eyes shut. You thought that Tommy would only do it once but he didn’t- choosing to really twist the knife by tearing out all of the pages. Ripping those in half so that there was no way for Eddie to savage them- and Eddie just stood there and took it. Because what else was there for him to do? He couldn’t fight back. Not when he knew that he’d end up at the Hawkins Police Department as he awaited his uncle to come and pick him up. Further proving to Wayne that the apple didn’t fall far from his brother’s tree.

When Tommy was finished, he dropped what was left of the book down onto the ground- right in front of Eddie’s feet. J.R.R Tolkien’s masterpiece now reduced to nothing but scraps.

“Oops.” Tommy replies, a wicked grin on his face “Sorry, freak.” He stomped onto the scraps of paper to further rub salt in the wound. Eddie’s spirit was broken. You could see that- even from where you stood.

Tommy Hagan was prepared to walk off but but not before shoving Eddie hard onto the pavement- scraping Eddie’s elbow in the process. Eddie winces in pain as he raises his arm, blood trickling from the wound at a fast pace. Everyone around just watched- including you.

Eddie removes his shirt, balling it up in his hands as he uses it to apply pressure and stop the bleeding. He slumped back down into his beach chair, his eyes landing at the pile of scraps that used to be his novel. He just stared at it. After what felt like fifteen to twenty minutes, Eddie removes the shirt from his elbow to make sure he had stopped bleeding.

He then rises from his beach chair, reaching down to grab his backpack as he slings it onto one shoulder. He walks over to the pile of what was left of his book, scooping it up in his hands as he carries it. You watch as he walks towards the exit of the pool, making a pit-stop in front of the garbage can next to the snack bar as he dumps the remains of his favorite book inside.

Your heart aches as you watch him sigh in defeat. But he didn’t linger long. He turned away and walked out of the community pool, gliding towards his bike that rested against the fence- mounting it as he began to bike off. Back to the Forest Hills Trailer Park.

Through the neighborhood full of disgruntled adults that seemed to dislike him. Past his peers that made up rumors and whispered to each other about him. Even though it was futile, Eddie wondered if there would ever be a day where he wasn’t looked at like a freak or the town pariah. He guessed he would never really know.

────────

That night, you sat cross-legged on your bedroom floor- a hammer rested in your hand as you had your arm poised to strike down onto your glass piggy bank.

Poor Mr. Hamlet, you thought as you stared down at the porcelain hog that you had been storing your allowance and loose change in for months. You had been saving up for an acid wash denim jacket but, you thought, that would have to wait. Just a little bit longer. There was no shame in starting over.

You smash the piggy bank, thankful that you had put a towel down underneath it so that your mother wouldn’t freak out on you. You place down the hammer, plucking away the large chunks of porcelain to collect the money that was stored inside. You began to count it. At the end, you ended up with $23.07. More than enough for you to buy what you needed and to take the bus there and back.

Perfect.

────────

The following night, Eddie was lounging on this uncle’s couch- legs draped over one of the arms as his eyes were glued to an episode of The Dukes of Hazzard. It was the next thing on his agenda following his hearty dinner of Planters Cheez Balls and a Super Rope.

He tried to distract himself from how his arm still stung- how humiliating the whole situation was. The worst part was that he didn’t understand why Jason Carver and Tommy Hagan hated him so much. He had never done anything to either of them. But Eddie guessed that was exactly the reason why. Someone smaller and quieter to pick on. If only Eddie wasn’t such a wimp and had just fought back. Why didn’t he stand up to them?

As his mind began to dwell deeper on what he should’ve done and how he would’ve handled the situation in his head despite it already being in the aftermath, Eddie heard a sound. A dull thump that sounded as if it had come from his front porch. It scared the shit out of him.

Eddie being home alone at night was still new to him, his Uncle Wayne having just started working at the plant. With that being said, Eddie was hyper-aware of every little creak, thump, or gust of wind that occurred in the trailer.

He sat frozen on the sofa, listening closer to see if he had heard anything else- hoping that it was nothing. That he had imagined it and his mind was playing tricks on him. Then he heard the sound of heavy feet as if someone were running followed by the sound of clunking metal and the crunch of asphalt underneath tires. His curiosity got the best of him- to which, Eddie realized, would make him a pretty quick victim in a slasher film. Nevertheless, his mind was made up- he was going to check it out. With protection, of course.

Eddie rushed into his bedroom, quickly searching his closet for the old metal baseball bat that was left there to collect dust after Wayne gave up trying to get him to partake in sports like normal boys his age. He grabs onto it, gripping it tightly in his hands as he exits his room- heading towards the front door of the trailer. He peeked out of the window, trying to see if he could spot anything but was met with nothing.

He places his hand on the doorknob, twisting it as her swings it open. On the other side of the door, he was met with nothing. No one. Maybe it had been his overactive imagination, after all. Wayne had already told him that sometimes his mind was too all over the place for his own good. Maybe this was one of those times.

Eddie then decides to step out onto the concrete stoop, thinking that some fresh air might do him good. As he steps out, the toe of his sneaker nudges something, kicking it forward an inch. Eddie looks down and is met with a bright red paperback copy of The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien- the same book that he had possessed just the day before. Before it was ruined.

Eddie stared down in confusion. Where had it even come from? Who left it there and why? Was this a sick joke orchestrated by Jason and Tommy to further humiliate him? Eddie was far too nervous to find out. He gently kicked at the book again with his shoe, worried that something would happen- nothing did.

He cautiously bends down to pick it up, turning it over in his hands as he inspected it. Brand new, mint condition. Spine uncracked. As he flips open the cover of the book, a small pink Post-it note flutters out of the pages- falling onto the stoop. Eddie bends down to pick it up, leaning closer towards the yellow glow of the porch light as he begins to read it.

Eddie,

Sorry about your book. I'm also sorry that other people are so mean to you. You don't know me but sometimes I wish that you did. I also wish I had the courage to talk to you. Maybe we could be friends if I actually introduced myself. I know it doesn't make things better but I hope that you at least get to finish the book. The guy at the bookshop who helped me find it had told me that it was really good and that you must be really smart to be able to understand and enjoy it. I think I agree with him. Either way, I hope you enjoy the book and you like how it ends.

It wasn't signed with a name. Eddie felt even more confused than he was initially. Who would have not only bought him a brand-new copy of the book he lost but also written him such a kind note? Eddie can't even remember the last time someone was kind to him. Probably never. This had to be a prank.

Eddie tears his eyes away from the note, looking around the trailer park to see if there was anyone watching him- ready to jump from the bushes and laugh in his face about how he had fallen for it. How there was no one in this town that liked or cared about him. But no one came out of the shadows to laugh at him. Maybe there was someone who didn't hate him. Someone that seemed to admire him enough to do something thoughtful and nice. Maybe, just maybe, there really was someone out there that cared.

────────

You didn't interact with Eddie again until weeks later. You had been at Walden Books in the magazine section, swooning over a cover of Ralph Macchio when you saw him. He was in the Fantasy section, pouring over the next Lord of the Rings book- The Two Towers. You watched curiously as flipped through the pages, tucking it under his arm as he walked over to the check-out counter.

You didn't know why but you followed him, magazine in hand as you waited in line behind him. You didn't even want the magazine- not really. You just wanted an excuse to be near him. To see the boy you admired up close. To just exist in the same space as him at the same time. If he knew this, he'd probably think it was creepy. You just hoped that he wouldn't notice. But, then again, you were probably plain enough to blend in with the wall everywhere you went.

You tried to act natural as you both paid for your things. In order to avoid looking like a weirdo, you fell back a few feet- not wanting to immediately follow him out of the store. When you had gotten an appropriate amount of distance between the two of you, you exited next- walking towards the bike rack where you had left your new candy-red painted Schwinn bicycle. Right next to it was a slightly rusted gray one- a bike you recognized. Next to it was Eddie Munson, unlocking his bike that was right next to yours.

In order to prevent looking suspicious as you stood awkwardly next to the bike rack, you tried to play it cool. You avoid eye contact and stare down at the ground as you sidled up next to him in order to retrieve your bike, putting in your own combination to unlock it. You could do this. You could act natural and inconspicuous. You could-

"Hey, nice bike!”

The sound of his voice could’ve turned you into stone. He was talking to you.

Holy shit, Eddie Munson was talking...to you.

What do you even say?

“Oh…” you reply, so low and bashful that it was practically a whisper “Thanks.”

“Yeah.” Eddie replies “Sure.”

The first thing that Eddie noticed was that you were cute- really cute. The second thing he noticed was that he hadn’t seen you around before. In a town like Hawkins where everyone knew everyone, it was hard to come across someone new and not notice them. Especially when they looked like you. All Eddie could hope was that you were also just now seeing him for the first time. That your opinion of him wasn’t yet tainted by the public opinion of Hawkins.

“Are you from around here?” He asks, feeling a suddenly desperate need to keep the conversation going. To at least get to know your name. Eddie didn’t connect with people like this- he didn’t connect with anyone. But there was something about you.

“I…yeah.” You swallow nervously “I just moved here…to Hawkins.”

“Yeah? No shit?” Eddie asks, perking up a little that you were responding. That he wasn’t talking to someone who was already scared of him and thought he was a freak.

“Yeah. I moved here in the spring. In April.” You finally lift your gaze from the ground, meeting his eyes and Eddie immediately felt like he was going into cardiac arrest. Like his heart stopped beating for a moment. Then it began to thump like crazy in his chest. You were looking at him. You were a very pretty girl that was looking at him and not in a way that conveyed that you were disgusted.

“Oh. Wow. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. That’s…yeah. Really cool.” He stammers nervously, melting under your gaze. So, so pretty.

“I…uh…I’ve gotta go.” You reply, mounting your bike as you prepare to leave “But it was nice talking to you, Eddie.”

“Yeah, of course.” He mutters, breathless “Maybe I’ll see you around some time?”

He was trying so hard to be cool that it was painful. He was trying so hard to be cool that it was totally and completely uncool. But, nevertheless, you looked at him and you smiled- it was a small smile but it was there and it was directed towards him. He had never felt more alive.

“Yeah.” You reply “Maybe.”

As you began to bike off, Eddie gave a small wave. Probably the totally most uncool thing he’s ever done but you don’t laugh at him when he does. You just turn forward and begin peddling off, leaving him next to the bike rack in front of Walden Books. Then it hit him.

You knew his name.

────────

Ever since that day, Eddie had looked for you and your candy-red bike. He thought about you and how you knew his name- how he didn't know yours, but how he wished more than anything that he had. He wondered where about Hawkins that you lived. Were you one of those pretty girls with a family that came from money and never had to worry about anything? A girl that lived in a big, huge house with a picket fence and beds of flowers and a wraparound porch? Then Eddie thought about how that didn't matter at all. What did matter was what kind of girl you are- who you are.

Eddie had decided that day outside of the bookstore that even though he knew nothing about you, he liked you- a lot. Even though you had barely met, barely spoken. None of it mattered. What mattered was that your presence and the air that you had given off had made him feel comfortable- like he did know you. Like he always had. He had never felt like that before- like he could trust. But after days of you invading his every thought, he had finally lucked out.

He was unknowingly biking through your neighborhood, barely paying attention when he spotted a familiar flash of color as he zoomed by. There, lying on its side in the green grass of somebody's front lawn was a bike- a candy-red Schwinn. The same bike that you rode. The one that he had complimented. No one else in Hawkins seemed to have a bike like that.

Eddie's gaze quickly wanders up towards the front of the house, and his heart almost stops. There you were, lounging on the front porch with a book in your hand as you read quietly. Not a care in the world. Then, at just the right second, your eyes flicker up from your pages- meeting his as if you were affected by some magnetic pull. It was you. Eddie was so fixated that he almost didn't see that he was seconds away from colliding right into one of your neighbor's mailboxes. At just the right time, he jerks his bike handles to avoid the collision- almost falling off of the bike before he regained his balance.

He braked, firmly planting his feet on the ground as he whips his head back towards your house where you sat on your front porch. You had seen everything. How fucking embarrassing. But you didn't laugh. No, instead, you had raised your hand up to wave- greeting him. If Eddie wasn't dying of mortification, he would've waved back but he felt like a total complete loser for almost biffing it not only in front of you but in the middle of the street- potentially causing damages to your neighbor's mailbox that Wayne would never stop nagging about.

He didn't wave. Instead, he righted himself on his bike- pushing off with his foot as he tried to continue down the street like nothing had happened. But Eddie wasn't mad that it had happened and that he potentially made himself look foolish. If anything, he's glad that it happened because now he knew where you lived- and it was only a stone's throw away from him.

────────

Unbeknownst to Eddie, you had thought about him too- somehow even more with each day that passed. It had been almost two weeks since the mailbox fiasco and you had barely seen him around. You craved contact of any kind. You wanted to keep this interesting little ping-pong game between you two going. So, you went to Walden Books and purchased the third Lord of the Rings book- The Return of the King.

You had decided that same night that you would drop it off just as you had with the first book and leave it on his porch. This time, though, you were going to be brave enough to leave another Post-it note inside with your name signed at the end. Maybe you were ready for him to finally know who you were- your name, at least.

You biked through the Forest Hills Trailer Park, peddling towards his trailer that's windows were lit up with a calming yellow glow against the contrast of the darkening dusk sky. He was home. Inside doing whatever it was that Eddie Munson did with his time. You were so curious about him. What he was really like. His hobbies besides reading The Lord of the Rings. Anything that was more than what you currently already knew- which wasn't much.

You brake a few feet from the front stoop of the trailer, hopping off your bike as you put down the kickstand- book in your hand. After you dropped off this paperback, he would know who you were. He would know your name. It was a fact that was both frightening yet exhilarating.

You approach the trailer, feet shuffling towards the cement porch in preparation to drop the book and then bike off. But no. Fate apparently had other plans because right as you were preparing to set down the novel, the front door swings open to reveal a tall older man with a smooth bald patch at the top of his graying head. He had an equally gray beard and was dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a Carhartt jacket to brace the cool summer night air. He looked at you curiously, a lit cigarette burning in his hand.

"Oh!" He says, his eyes landing on you once he notices that you're there- lurking outside of his home "Hello. Somethin' I can do for ya?" You heart thumped nervously in your chest as you held the book close to it, staring down at the ground as you shook your head.

"You lost, darlin?" He asks. Wayne knew that you weren't from around Forest Hills. He rarely saw kids around the park so, when he did, he took stock in knowing who lived where and who their family was. You weren't one of them. Judging by the nice bike, Wayne could tell that you probably lived in one of the nicer houses in town.

"No, sir." You croak, shaking your head again "I...I brought this." You pull the book away from your chest, showing it to Wayne who looks at it questoningly. "It's for Eddie."

"Really now?" Wayne asks, a smile lighting up his face. There was a girl here....for his nephew. "Ain't that nice of you. Y'know, Eddie hadn't mentioned you. Wonder why." Wayne laughs, poking fun at his nephew as he assumed that Eddie had found himself a little crush in town that he was too shy to tell him about. Wayne was going to have a lot of questions for his nephew over dinner tonight.

"Could you give it to him, please?" You practically stammer, your face burning with embarrassment and it was almost too sweet for Wayne to take. The tell-tale beginning of young first-love.

"Sure, darlin', but don't you wanna give it to him yourself?" Wayne offers "We're actually just about to have dinner. You could join us if you'd like. It would be nice to get to know one of Eddie's little friends."

Little friends.

Wayne Munson definitely thought this was more than what it actually was and you were far too shy and bashful to explain that it wasn't what it seemed.

"I'm sure he'd be happy to see you, and all." He adds "Eddie doesn't have friends over. I'm sure he'd be pleased to see you."

"Oh." You breathe "I...I actually have to get going, Mr. Munson. My parents don't like me out after dark."

"I see," Wayne says, a little disappointed "Well, I'll make sure he gets it then."

You shakily hand over the book, giving it to Wayne as he smiles at you. You had always heard around town that Wayne Munson was a very nice man. You were glad that the rumors were true.

"Thank you, sir." You say.

"No problem, darlin'." He replies, "I'll tell Eddie you stopped by."

You give one last nod before turning around and walking back towards your bike, popping up the kickstand as you mounted it. You kick off, peddling down the Munson's driveway without looking back. As you rode off through the dusk, Wayne watched you- intrigued.

What a sweet girl...

────────

After washing up for dinner, Eddie walks into the kitchen area of the trailer- prepared to sit down across from his uncle and enjoy a family dinner together on his day off. Family dinners with Wayne were starting to become rare due to his shifting work hours so Eddie knew how important it was to join his uncle at the table whenever he could- to bond, as Wayne would say. But as Eddie prepares to slip into his seat at the table, he is met with the presence of a paperback book sitting next to his plate. A brand-new copy of The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien. His heart almost stops.

"Where'd this come from?" Eddie asks, grabbing the book in his hands as he turns it over. The last time he received a book, it was mysteriously left for him on the porch. Now there was another one on the dinner table.

"Oh," Wayne says, looking over his shoulder as he pulls out a can of beer from the fridge "One of your friends left it for you. Asked me to give it to you."

Friend?

"Who....who was it?" Eddie asks cautiously, looking up at his uncle that took his seat at the table.

"Dunno." Wayne shrugs "Didn't tell me her name."

Her?

"What did she look like?" Eddie prods, needing to know all of the details immediately. A girl had left him a book. Maybe this girl had left him the first one as well.

"She was shy. Didn't speak much. She seemed like a peach, son. Very pretty too. Didn't even know you were friends with a girl."

He wasn't.

"She didn't say anything else?" Eddie pushes, trying to get even just a crumb of an idea of who you could be.

"Nah, not really. Just gave me that book and hopped on her lil red bike. Took off outta here like she was racin' for the Indy 500."

Lil red bike.

"She had a red bike?" Eddie asks, dying for his uncle's confirmation.

"Yeah. Nice one too. Hadn't seen one like that around here."

Neither had Eddie. Not until almost two weeks ago outside of Walden Books. A candy-red Schwinn. He only knew of one person with a red bike in town- you.

It had to be.

────────

Later that night, Eddie was lying in bed- staring at the ceiling as his mind replayed that interaction with you outside of the bookstore. You and your little red bike. You had known his name without him introducing himself. It’s had to be you. Who else could it be? And why?

Maybe Tommy Hagan and Jason Carver put you up to this. Maybe it was all just a long-winded prank that just kept going on for weeks just for the fun of it. But were those two jockstraps even smart enough to craft a plan that detailed? Eddie didn’t think so. They were more the type of bullies to push you down a flight of stairs or shove you into a school locker. They didn’t have enough brain cells for anything past that level of cruelty.

After over an hour of staring at his bedroom walls, Eddie decided to flip on his bedside lamp. Maybe reading will help him shut his mind off enough for him to hopefully drift off. He grabs for the copy of The Return of the King, opening to the first page when he is met with a bright pink Post-it note in girly scrawl.

Eddie,

I saw this at the bookstore and thought of you. I hope you enjoy it. Maybe one day you can tell me what it’s about.

P.S. Sorry for not checking to see if you were okay when you almost ran into that mailbox. I wanted to ask but I was too nervous.

And to Eddie’s excitement, at the bottom of the message was a tiny doodle of a heart right next to a name. A girl’s name- your name.

Eddie finally knew your name. Now he was certain that he could never forget it.

────────

At the beginning of August every summer, Hawkins Middle School hosted a week-long day camp for their student body to get together and meet new people before the beginning of the school year. The school faculty, for some reason, believed that it was a good opportunity to set students up to succeed and find out where they fit in. This was Eddie’s third year attending and he never made friends at any of them. It was always a bust. So, what made this year any different?

You, on the other hand, had never been to anything like it. All of your past schools in your hometown couldn’t care less about helping you “branch out and spread your wings.” They barely cared if you passed your classes, most of the time. Hawkins Middle was clearly very….different.

The first day of Hawkins Day-Camp was a glorified “school dance” in the humid, stuffy gymnasium where they played shitty music and served grocery store cookies and watered-down fruit punch. It gave off the vibes of junior bible study more than a party. Of course, attending this thing wasn’t your idea- and it wasn’t Eddie’s either. You both had been goaded to attend to try and “make friends!” which really just resulted in the both of you sitting like lumps on a log on opposite sides of the gym. Neither of you knowing that the other was on the other side- just as miserable.

You weren’t sure of the dress code. Since it was a “party,” your mom insisted on dragging you down to the nearest Mervyn’s and picking out a dress for the occasion. It was a dress that you hated. It was easily the most garishly ugly thing you’ve ever seen in your life. It was a very unpleasant floral print party dress in a disgusting shade of yellow.

To make matters worse, it was adorned with the most outrageously puffy sleeves. It looked more like a church girl’s Sunday-Best than a party dress. You felt absolutely ridiculous. How were you expected to make friends when you were standing there dressed like Big Bird?

You stood with your back against the wall, sipping slowly from a red solo cup of shitty fruit punch. Or maybe it was sugar-free Flavor-Aid? You weren’t sure. You just knew that it was the saddest beverage you’ve ever consumed in your life as you watched hoards of other girls your age mingle- squealing about what they had done over summer. Trips to Lake Michigan or Disneyland or road trips to the Grand Canyon. Things that cool girls did. Nothing like your sad summer on your front porch reading Pride & Prejudice for the third time in a row.

Eddie, on the other hand, was just as miserable. He was dressed in what his uncle called a “nice shirt.” Which really just meant “not a band tee.” He wore his nicest pants without holes in the knees. Before Wayne could catch him, he slipped out of the trailer with his newly DIY’d denim battle vest- covered in patches of his favorite metal bands. If he was going to come to this stupid dance thing, he was going to come as himself- not anyone else.

He watched as groups of pretty girls talked amongst themselves or giggled to each other about the cute boys in their grade. How they were already excited for the winter formal. A dance that Eddie wouldn’t dare be caught dead at. As he people-watched from the sidelines, he sipped his shitty punch and reflected on how he managed to get mixed up into a group like this. Everyone was so aggressively normal. Lost little sheep being lead to the slaughter that was “conformity.” How fucking depressing.

He looked around. Everyone wore the same shit- the same brand of “trendy” clothes. Everyone’s hair was the same. Everyone was sporting fucking Keds, for god’s sake. There wasn’t a single soul in this entire gymnasium that seemed to have any sort of creativity- any mind of their own until….

There was you.

From the other side of the overly floor-waxed room, was a flash of yellow. As bright as the sun as glimpses of your ugly dress poked through the bodies of yours and Eddie’s peers.

You.

Lil red bike girl.

After he had received your last book, Eddie hadn’t seen you. Just like before, he looked everywhere for you and your red bike but ended up with nothing. That was over a week ago. Now, here you were. Right there in the same place as him once again. But this time, he knew what he hadn’t known then. That you were his secret admirer (if he could call it that), that you were the person behind the kind words in your handwritten notes. Best of all, he knew your name.

You looked just as cute as he remembered.

No, Eddie thought, you looked even cuter.

You practically stood with your back against the wall, dressed in a yellow party dress that was littered with an aggressively floral print. The sleeves were far too puffy for their own good, almost swallowing his view of your face.

But, behind those sleeves, was a face he couldn’t forget. You looked pretty- real pretty. Not in the way that other girls in this same gym looked. No, you weren’t trendy. You looked classic. Effervescent, even. While you probably looked meek and shy to the other people surrounding you, Eddie could sense that it wasn’t the full truth. No, you were a force- everyone simply just didn’t know it yet.

Your hair was down and styled in soft curls, pinned back with what he was sure was a heap of Bobby pins in order to keep the shape. On your face was a small sweep of pink blush and a subtle coat of mascara. Not too much. Even though Eddie thought that you didn’t need it at all. You were pretty just the way you were. Just as you are.

Before Eddie knew it, he didn’t realize that his feet had already been carrying him toward you. Closer and closer towards where you stood- as if you were on a distant, deserted island that he wanted to charter. He didn’t know what had come over him but he was moving on pure instinct. His mind didn’t know what to do. His brain didn’t know what to do. But his body did. His body was telling him to be right next to yours. As if that’s where he belonged this entire time.

As if by grace, coincidence, or the earth working its magic- you turn your head and you look at him. Really look at him. Eddie’s heart began to pound in his chest. You were looking at him. You could see him- and, god, it felt good to be seen.

His journey to you never faltered. He kept walking, vehement on closing the gap between you. The gap that had only grown wider that whole summer. He didn’t want there to be any distance between you anymore. He was ready to know you.

“Hey, freak!”

Eddie was so zoned in on you that he didn’t see Tommy Hagan swoop in and block his way, causing Eddie to stop in his tracks and meet the gaze of the menacing boy in front of him.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Eddie looks up, eyes landing on you and then back on Tommy. Great, just great. Eddie just stood there.

“Are you listening, freak?” Tommy laughs “I said where do you think you’re going?”

Eddie froze, his body locking up and tensing in the spot where he stood.

“Nowhere.” Eddie whispers, looking down at his boots as Tommy grins wickedly. Out of all the times for Tommy Hagan to pick shit with him…

“Doesn’t seem like nowhere.” Tommy taunts, jutting forward to shove Eddie in the chest. Eddie sways backwards before regaining balance. Even with Tommy standing directly in front of him, he could catch a glimpse of you from behind him- watching. You were seeing everything. Just like everyone else in the gymnasium was.

“What’s wrong, freak?” Tommy laughs “You scared? You worried everyone’s going to see me make a fool out of you?”

That’s when it hit Eddie- no, Tommy Hagan wasn’t going to make a fool out of him. Not in front of you.

In a split second, Eddie’s body was reacting before his mind could catch up. Still holding his red solo cup full of punch, he tilts the cup back and then juts it forward- splashing the liquid right into Tommy Hagan’s face.

The collective gasp that echoed throughout the gym was deafening. Eddie just stood there, his now-empty cup still in his hand as Tommy Hagan reaches down for the hem of his shirt- pulling it up to try and wipe the spilt drink from his face. Eddie was in shock. Probably more in shock than everyone else in that room. When Tommy Hagan finally open his eyes, he gives Eddie the most spine-chilling stare imaginable.

“You’re dead, Munson.”

Eddie drops the empty cup onto the floor, immediately turning heel and running- his boots carrying him to the exit as fast as they can go as Tommy Hagan follows after him, hot on his heels.

Well, Eddie thought, here’s another new way for me to get my ass kicked.

────────

Eddie burst through the doors of the gym and out into the hot summer air as he continues to run away from Tommy Hagan who was hot on his trail. Eddie was so screwed.

“Get back here, you fucking freak!” Tommy seethes “You’re so fucking dead!”

Eddie continues running, cutting through the school’s front lawn as he was being chased. He didn’t know where he was going. He had no destination. He just wanted to get away from Tommy and prevent himself from getting pummeled. But, suddenly, Eddie felt the weight of something wrap around his legs and the next thing he knew, he was tumbling to the ground.

Eddie hits the ground hard as Tommy Hagan tackles him, working to straddle Eddie and grab two handfuls of his shirt as he pulls Eddie up to get into his face.

“You think that shit was funny, freak? You-“

“Stop! Leave him alone!”

It was a feminine voice. Sharp and loud as it bellowed out behind them. Following right after was the sound of someone running. Eddie was wincing from the anticipation of Tommy Hagan preparing to punch him in the face- so much so that he didn’t realize who the voice was coming from until he felt the force of Tommy’s body completely shift off of him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Eddie opens his eyes to find you, towering above him after you had grabbed Tommy Hagan by the collar of his shirt and yanked him back with all of your might. Eddie had never seen anything like it.

“I said leave him alone!” You shout, glaring down Tommy with a stare that could melt steel. Tommy Hagan had finally taken shit too far. But you learn pretty quickly that he still wasn’t done.

Tommy hops up from where you had dragged him, getting into his feet as he begins to charge at you like a bull. Eddie’s heart immediately drops into the pit of his stomach. Tommy Hagan could fuck with him all day. He could shove him, punch him, push him into his locker, or beat his ass any day of the week but fucking with you? That was where Eddie drew the fucking line.

Eddie scrambles to his feet, lunging at Tommy as he tries to go after you. Eddie yanks him back again which puts Tommy in the middle of a standoff between you and Eddie. Two-on-One.

“You want some, Munson?” Tommy snarls but before Tommy could face him, you lift up your right leg and swing it directly in-between Tommy Hagan’s legs- kicking him right in the balls. Eddie’s mouth drops open in shock as Tommy Hagan drops to his knees onto the hard ground beneath him, grasping onto his penis.

“You fucking bitch!” He wheezes, groaning out as he writhed in pain. You just stood above him and watched- satisfied.

Eddie walks over, stopping in front of Tommy before balling up his first and punching him right in the nose- causing Tommy to yelp again in pain.

“That’s for calling her a bitch.” Eddie states clearly, clenching his jaw.

Eddie turns to you, watching as you peered away from Tommy to lock eyes with him.

“We should probably get outta here.” He glances off to the bike rack where both of your bicycles sat. You nod.

────────

The both of you walked your bikes along the sidewalk as you started on your way home. Neither of you spoke, too nervous to say anything. It was finally Eddie who broke the silence.

“Thanks.” He says, looking over at you as you walked your candy-red Schwinn beside him. “You helping me. Not that you, like, had to or anything.”

“I wanted to.” You say, your voice firm as you look over at Eddie “That guy was a total dick. Does he always act like that?”

Eddie didn’t expect the hot-headed temper to come out of you, taking him by surprise but also leaving him with a smirk. There wasn’t much that he knew about you yet but you were clearly passionate with how you felt.

“Yeah.” Eddie says “That’s just how he is. He’s always been a dickwad.”

“Yeah, well, he fucking sucks.” You spit out, causing Eddie’s smile to widen.

“I concur.”

“Well, he better think twice about doing it again.” You threaten “Next time I’ll kick him even harder. I didn’t even do it that hard and he folded like a little bitch.”

“Easy there, tiger.” Eddie snorts, causing you to whip your head over to him and glare.

“I’m serious.” You state.

“Oh, I know.” Eddie laughs “If I were Tommy Hagan, I would definitely learn my lesson not to fuck with you.”

“Good. That was the point.”

“Well…point well made.”

The conversation died into a long silence. All Eddie could think about was keeping you talking. He couldn’t let you go home without solidifying whatever this was between the two of you. He needed to ensure that this was going to go farther than this. That he would be able to talk to you again.

“Can I ask you something?” He says, finally letting himself be brave for a moment.

“What?”

“The books. Why’d you leave them for me?” It was a question that had haunted him for several weeks.”

“….I don’t know.” You answer. It might have sounded like a cop-out to Eddie but it was the honest truth. You didn’t know why you did it other than you wanted to. “I just wanted to, okay? I wanted to do something nice.”

“…Like, you wanted to do something nice just because? Or you wanted to do something nice because you feel sorry for me?” Eddie drops, afraid of the latter being the answer you gave. You just looked at him as if he wasn’t making any sense.

“Why would I feel sorry for you?” You blink, taking Eddie aback.

“Because I-“

“Because you don’t fit in, you’re really fucking weird, and you have no friends?” You question, raising an eyebrow.

“Um, yeah. I guess?” Eddie replies. Were you insulting him? Right after you just saved him from getting his ass kicked?

“Well, in that case, shouldn’t you feel sorry for me too then?” You pose the question.

“Oh please.” Eddie challenges “You’re trying to tell me that you don’t have any friends?”

“Believe it or not, Munson, but I don’t. Not since I moved here. Not like I really need friends anyway. I just keep to myself and keep my head down. Just like you do. But I know how lonely it gets. I get it. That’s why I did it, okay?”

Eddie could tell that the subject you had embarked on was a touchy one- yet, he was satisfied with what you had said. It wasn’t much but it spoke volumes because he understood. You were right, he knew what it was like to be lonely. He didn’t push for more. He was grateful enough for that. Instead, he responded with what felt right.

“Well, you have one now.” Eddie states, looking at you with his brown eyes that made your heart skip a beat.

“I have what now?” You ask.

“A friend.” He explains “We’re friends now. Because I said so. Okay?”

You look back at him, searching for traces of disingenuousness in his statement. There weren’t any.

“Sure.” You nod once “Okay.”

The short silence that followed was comfortable this time. Like it was decided right then so that was that.

“Can I tell you something, by the way?” He asks

“What?”

“I like your dress.” You say, his eyes taking in the way that the hem billowed around your thighs as you walked beside him. You gave him a sour face.

“This thing?” You ask in disgust “You’re joking, right?”

“I think it looks nice.” He shrugs “I like the marigolds.”

“The what?”

“The flowers.” He points out “On your dress.”

“Oh.” You reply, softly “Well….I like your hair.”

Eddie’s face immediately lights up.

“Yeah?” He asks, removing one of his hands off of his handlebars to run his fingers through his curls “I’ve, uh, been growing it out. I’m trying to let it get long, you know. Like the guys in Judas Priest.”

“What’s Judas Priest?” You ask, immediately making Eddie stop in his tracks. He began staring at you as if you were an alien.

“You’ve never heard of Judas Priest?” He asks, mouth practically agape.

“Nuh-uh.” You answer, kind of feeling embarrassed. Were you supposed to know who they were?

“Alright.” Eddie says matter-of-factly “First rule of business, Marigold, is that I’m going to introduce to my music. The good shit. Otherwise, we can’t be friends.”

Eddie was totally spitting bullshit. He would still want to be your friend even if you listened to fucking New Kids On The Block and ass-kissed Gloria Estefan. He was all talk.

“As a matter of fact, I just so happen to have a fine collection of their cassette tapes.” He states.

“Is that so?” You play along, indulging him.

“We could, y’know, go hang out at my house and listen to them. If you want. My uncle’s with his fishing buddies until later tonight. We could blast music as loud as we want. Y’know, if you want to.” He offers.

“Okay.” You say, not even giving it a second thought.

“Wait. Really?” Eddie asks, surprised.

“Sure.” You reply “I mean, you did say that we can’t be friends unless I listen to your music.”

Yeah, Eddie thought. But I wasn’t being serious.

All Eddie could hear in the back of his head was Wayne’s voice nagging him for the past few weeks to clean up his room. Now he was wishing that he’d listened.

“Okay.” Eddie says, trying to play cool. But he wasn’t cool. Inside of his head he was doing backflips. The girl he had been overly-fascinated with almost all summer was agreeing to hang out with him- to be friends.

Maybe Eddie’s luck was finally starting to turn around.

────────

As Wayne Munson arrive home from a long day of drinking beer and fishing, he was met with the loud rumbling of his nephew’s cassette tapes. Wayne didn’t really care much for Eddie’s music but he let the kid express himself, wanting him to always have a sense of individuality. What Wayne did mind was potential noise complaints from the neighbors.

He kicked off his boots near the front door, his eyes catching sight on an extra pair of shoes. There were his boots, Eddie’s pair of thrifted black combat boots, and a mysterious pair of white strappy sandals. Huh.

Wayne sets his fishing pole against the wall by the door as he makes his way down the hall to Eddie’s room where the sounds of electric guitars and loud bass-heavy riffs flowed from the crack left open in the door. He hears the sound of his nephew’s voice talking. Also odd.

“Have you ever heard of Black Sabbath?”

“Is that the one with that guy with the accent?”

Wayne could hear a feminine voice speak back. A girl. His nephew had a girl over.

“Yeah, that’s Ozzy Osborne. He-“

The sound of Wayne knocking on the open door caused Eddie to stop mid sentence, grabbing both of your attention as you looked at the older man in the doorway.

“Hey, son. Just wanted to let you know that I’m home.” He says slowly, looking over towards you “Who’s this?”

After you introduced yourself to Wayne, properly this time, his face spreads into a smile.

“Well, it’s nice to officially meet ya, darlin’.” He nods, his expression warm “I see Eddie here has already started to talk your ear off about his music.”

“Wayne.” Eddie groans, cutting the old man a look.

“Sorry, right.” Wayne jokes “Forgot that your music was a sore subject.” He surveys your yellow dress and smiles. You looked darling.

“So, how did the day-camp go?” Wayne asks “Any fun?”

You and Eddie both look at each other and shrug, both of your faces breaking into a knowing smile over the incident that bonded you.

“Nah.” You smirk “Not really.” From the corner of his eye, he caught the way that his nephew looked at you. It was subtle and happened in a blink but Wayne caught it. He knew that look all too well. He smiles.

“Should I assume that you’ll be stayin’ for dinner, darlin’?”

You look over at Eddie, gauging his reaction as he nodded. Wayne could see that the two of you had already established a form of nonverbal communication. This was sure to be trouble. A very welcome kind of trouble but trouble nonetheless.

“Is that okay?” Eddie asks, his eyes pleading.

“Sure. Hope ya like fish though. The buddies and I caught the motherlode today.”

And as Wayne began to launch into a story from that afternoon, Eddie watched you in wonder. How you engaged with his uncle and acted as if his silly old fishing stories were some of the most interesting things you’ve ever heard. Eddie watched the way your lips formed into a smile or the enthusiastic way that you asked questions.

He looked at your face as he admired all of the little details that he could finally see up close. A freckle near your nose, the hint of a dimple that formed in your cheek as you laughed, the curl of your eyelashes. How soft your hair looked. Eddie couldn’t look away. Nor did he want to. He began to wonder how the universe hadn’t brought you together sooner. How it was cruel that it took thirteen years for you to finally come into his life. To finally be given the companionship that he had longed for. The Samwise to his Frodo. But Eddie couldn’t complain. You were friends now and that’s all that mattered.

────────

September 1979

You sat in the back of the bus, waiting patiently as it stopped in front of the Forest Hills Trailer Park. It was the first day of school and you had saved Eddie a seat- just like you said you would. Your Walkman was out and ready with two pairs of headphones plugged in. The beginning of a years-long tradition.

Eddie bounds up the stairs of the bus, standing at the other end of the aisle near the bus driver as he peered down the rows of seats, undoubtedly searching for you. Once he found you, his face lit up with joy. Even though he had seen you only just the day before as he sketched out a map of Hawkins Middle School- telling you the best routes to each class and revealing all of the secrets he had found out during the two years that he had attended before his now eighth-grade year.

Eddie walks down the aisle, his eyes still on you fully as he approaches you. Sitting down next to you was all that he cared about. He was so blinded by the need to be reunited with you that he didn’t even notice the way that the other kid’s eyes followed him as he walked past.

“Hey you.” He greets, smiling as he plops down in the spot you had saved for him.

“Munson.” You tease, smiling back as you shyly tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. Even though you and Eddie had spent practically every single day together for the remainder of the summer, you still found yourself becoming nervous around him.

“Alright, what are you in the mood for?” He asks, digging through his backpack for some cassette tapes.

“Hm…” you hum as if you’re deep in thought “Surprise me.”

"Iron Maiden, it is then, m'lady." He grins, whipping the cassette tape out of his bag.

"Ew." You wrinkle your nose in faux-disgust "Do you really have to call me that? Like, is it necessary?"

"Does it annoy you?" He asks, a smirk on his face.

"Yes." You lie.

"Then yes. I absolutely do....m'lady." He hands you the cassette tape as you snatch it from him jokingly. Eddie could see the smile on your face as you popped in the tape and handed him the extra pair of headphones. His hand brushes against yours in a way that sent a shiver down your spine. You try to ignore it, pressing play on your Walkman as you slid on the headphones.

Just as you began to focus on the song, the bus unexpectedly breaks, causing you to jolt forward. Eddie's fast reflexes kick in, his hands immediately flying to your waist as he grasps onto you- holding you back so that you didn't smash into the back of the seat in front of you.

Your breath catches as the bus comes to a stop at a traffic light, giving you to chance to recover. However, your heart was beating so hard and so fast that it felt like you never would recover. Especially with Eddie's hands wrapped around your waist protectively- holding you close. What you didn't know was that Eddie was freaking out just as much as you were.

He was touching you. Holy shit.

"Are you okay?" He asks, trying to prevent his hands from shaking as they held you. He hoped you couldn't feel it. It would be a dead giveaway that he was literally malfunctioning by being this close to you.

"Yeah," You nod, voice small and meek "I'm okay."

"Okay, yeah. Good. I'm glad you're okay."

Eddie's hands linger there for just a second too long before he finally removes them from your waist. But as soon as he did, he felt empty, somehow. He clears his throat, adjusting him body on the seat and he leans back against it- trying to steady his nervous heartbeat.

He had touched you and he liked it.

But he was your friend. Friends don't touch friends that way. At least, they're not supposed to- and they're not supposed to like it. This was a dilemma.

You on the other hand, felt self-conscious. You were suddenly hyper-aware of your developing tween body. So many times during that summer you had stood in front of your bedroom mirror and picked apart every single little thing about yourself and your body. How you thought you nose was slightly crooked, your teeth weren't perfect, the size of your newly-growing breasts, the way your hair looked- but, especially, your stomach. Your waist. Your thighs.

Soon, all you could think about was how fast Eddie had seemed to jerk his hands away from you. How weird he had acted. Maybe he felt something that he didn't like? Did he think you weren't thin enough? Was he disgusted by it? God, this was so fucking embarrassing. You didn't know if you could ever look at him again without wondering if he thought you were unattractive.

Eddie, on the other hand, was trying to fight against the sudden blood flow that was heading south of his body.

Please no...please no...please no.

He immediately grabs his backpack that sat on the floor beside his feet. He pulls it into his lap, trying to think about something else. Anything else. Literally any...fucking...thing...else.

As the two of you sat on that bus for the rest of the ride, neither of you spoke. Neither of you looked at each other- both of you too embarrassed, self-conscious, and absolutely mortified to make eye contact. Not even small bits of awkward small talk- and absolutely neither of you even dared to mention how the song that you had both been listening to had ended five minutes ago.

────────

December 1979

"Hey, darlin'! Merry Christmas."

Wayne opens the door for you as you step into the trailer, carrying your Christmas gift to Eddie in your gloved hands.

"You didn't walk here, did ya?" He asks, peeking through the window for any sign of your parent's car retreating down the driveway. You shrug.

"It's not a far walk." You say as if it's no big deal.

"Darlin', it's almost below zero outside. You mean to tell me that you walked all the way here in sub-degree weather just to see my nephew?" Wayne teases.

This was nothing new for Wayne. He always teased. Always poked and prodded. Even when Eddie would constantly swear to him that there was nothing going on between the two of you. Wayne knew better though. He'd been around the block long enough to see young love when it was right in front of him. Especially when Eddie had begged him since mid-October for an increase on his allowance.

At first, Wayne just thought he wanted to buy more manuals for that damn game that he had recently become so interested in. But it wasn't until a couple weeks ago, when Eddie asked him for a ride to the nearest camera store that he realized just what Eddie had planned to do with that money.

Eddie steps out of his bedroom just as you kicked off your snow boots. After hanging up your winter jacket on the coat rack, Eddie got to see what you were wearing. A cute little black skirt layered on top of a pair of white cable knit stocking tights. On the top you wore a gaudy knitted Christmas sweater that was adorned with little bells that jingled when you moved. On the front was a big Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Eddie swore that this was the cutest that you have ever looked. Dorky but sweet. Cute. No, not cute. Fucking adorable. How could someone be wearing the world's ugliest fucking sweater and look like a literal Christmas angel sent from above.

You catch him staring which immediately makes you self-conscious. You knew you should have changed. He probably thought you looked like a total dweeb.

"Sorry, I should've changed." You wince "I look stupid, don't I? I just got done visiting my nanna and she knits....sweaters....really ugly sweaters but yeah."

But, unbeknownst to you, Eddie was so glad that you hadn't changed. He loved your dorky sweater. He looked how cute you looked. He loved you.

"No, I like it." He says "It suits you."

You immediately narrow your eyes. "You calling me ugly, Munson."

"What? No, I- You....You look- Wait, no-"

"Don't finish that sentence, son." Wayne interjects, watching from the kitchen as he sipped from a cup of coffee. "As a man, I'll tell ya that you're just gonna end up screwing it up and get yourself into worse trouble."

"Okay!" Eddie replies hastily, changing the subject "Time for presents? Yeah? Sound good? Presents sound nice. How about I go first? Be right back. Byeeee!"

You raise your eyebrows at Wayne, silently questioning what was going on with his nephew. Wayne just shrugs.

"Ya got me beat there, darlin'. Ya know I ain't never had an inkling of an idea of what's wrong with that boy."

"Hm." You say "You think it's drugs?"

Wayne lets out a laugh. "Goddamn, I hope not but it sure would make a lotta sense."

"Got it!" Eddie exclaims, emerging from his bedroom with a gift wrapped box in his hands. He hurries into the living room and plops himself onto the couch, looking over at you and Wayne as you stay rooted in the kitchen. "You gonna come over here?"

You obey Eddie's request, walking into the living room with your gift in your hands as you sit beside him on the couch.

"Alright," Eddie says, "Mine first. Open it. I demand it."

"So eager." You laugh.

"Yeah, well, I've been waiting to give it to you for ages." He smiles "Can't wait to see your face."

You trade gifts, taking each other's into your hands as you place it down on your lap.

"Okay, open it." He pushes "Open, open, open!"

"Alright, alright! Sheesh." You giggle "I'm opening the damn present."

You gingerly begin to take off the wrapping paper. To Eddie's horror, you're doing it neatly.

"Jesus Christ, are you trying to preserve it?" He snorts.

"This is how I open presents!" You explain "My mom saves the wrapping paper."

"Well, we don't so rip it!" Eddie exclaims "I'm dying here."

You finally just listen to him and rip the paper off of the gift, revealing a box. You turn it over, looking at the front. It was an instant Polaroid camera. Your face immediately lights up with joy and the sight of it warms Eddie's heart.

"Is that the right one?" He asks "A few months ago, you said you had always wanted one but your parents never let you. Because they were too expensive."

"You remembered that?" You whisper, your throat thick with tears as you tried to hold them back.

"Of course I remembered." He says. As if it were obvious.

"Eddie, I-" You mumble, trying to hold back the emotion in your voice "This is too much. I can't accept this."

"Yeah, well, that's too bad." He says nonchalantly "I knew you'd say that so I threw away the receipt. Whoopsies. Uh-oh. Now you have to keep it."

"You little shit." You reply, shaking your head as your eyes well with tears "Thank you, Eddie."

"Of course, sweetheart." He grins.

Sweetheart. He had called you sweetheart.

You try to hide your bashfulness. But Wayne could see it clearly from where he stood in the kitchen- smiling into his coffee cup.

Young love...

"Okay," You say "Your turn. Open mine."

"Okay." Eddie nods, looking down at the gift in his lap. He begins to gently take the paper off as you stare in horror.

"What are you doing?"

"What?" He laughs "You said that you save the paper."

"Oh shut up, Munson. Just open it, will ya?"

He smiles at your insistence, ripping it off to find a plain brown box. He grabs at the flaps, opening them up to reveal a brand-new leather journal, two packages of guitar strings, and a mason jar full of multi-colored guitar picks.

"Wait." Eddie says, trying to make sense of the items "I don't..."

He looks at you as he notices you stare off towards Wayne who just grins at you before retreating towards the small closet in the back of the trailer that was used for storage. He returns with something in a huge, gift-wrapped box, setting it down gently at Eddie's feet.

"This one is a two-parter." He explains to Eddie before smiling at you "Your girl and I sorta coordinated."

Eddie just stares between you and Wayne- dumbfounded.

"You gonna open it, son?" Wayne teases "Or are ya gonna wait until next Christmas?"

Eddie obeys, sinking down onto the carpet as he wraps the large gift- opening up the large box to find a B.C. Rich NJ Warlock electric guitar with a red and black crackle painted finish. It was candy red. The same color as your bicycle. Eddie just stared. Speechless. For once in Eddie Munson's life, he was completely speechless.

"Do you like it?" You ask, watching as Eddie malfunctioned. He had been talking non-stop about wanted an electric guitar for as long as you've known him and, for Wayne, as long as Eddie had learned to speak.

"Darlin’ helped me pick it out for ya." Wayne adds "Didn't know what you’d like so I let her take the lead. I thought she did a pretty damn good job. What d’ya think, son?"

Eddie looks over at you, his expression unreadable until he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Not matter how hard he tried. There was so much that he could say but his brain and his voice refused to work in tandem. All he could do was stare at you, a look in his eyes that Wayne hadn’t seen from his nephew since his mother died.

Love.

Pure, true love.

Eddie lunged for you, pulling you close as he enveloped you in a bone-crushing hug. He buried his face in your neck, his heart racing as he smelled your familiar scent- vanilla body wash and strawberry shampoo. It was so...you. Eddie didn't want to forget the way that you smell. He wanted to remember this. He wanted to remember this moment that he was sure would be the happiest of his life. His favorite memory. When he would remember you, he wanted to always remember you this way.

"Ed, I think you're crushing her, son." Wayne pipes in.

"Oh, shit, sorry." Eddie replies, pulling away from you even though he didn't want to. God, he didn't want to let you go. He wanted to stay just like this. Wrapped around you, breathing you in. His Christmas angel. No, his every day angel.

Before Eddie completely let you go, he cups your face in his hands- looking at you with so much love. So much care and adoration. He adored you. He adored you in a way that he never thought he could ever feel for anyone.

"This means so much to me." He whispers, low enough for only you to hear. Not even Wayne who desperately wanted to know. But he knew to just butt out of it. He wouldn't want to ruin what was clearly a very important moment for his (obviously love-struck) nephew.

To your surprise, Eddie suddenly leans in- planting a gentle kiss to your forehead. Your stomach felt like it was bursting full of butterflies as he pulled away, letting go of your face. Your face felt warm where he had kissed you. Where his hands once were. Your whole body felt warm. A beautiful kind of warm.

"I don't know how to thank you." He says, staring at you with those pretty, brown puppy dog eyes of his.

"Well," You say, nervously clearing your throat "Guess you'll just have to play me some songs then. Whenever I want."

Eddie smiles. "Okay." He nods "I can do that. Anytime. Anything you want."

"Even Rick Springfield?" You joke, causing Eddie to give you an unamused look.

"Don't push it, sweetheart."

────────

Spring 1980

“….and Ronnie had this really sick idea that I add in a guitar solo to the middle of the song we’re playing. I can’t wait for you to meet her. She’s super rad. She plays drums. She’s probably the coolest girl on the planet. The way that she….”

Your blood was boiling. You had been listening to Eddie drone on and on and on about his friend Ronnie. How she was sooo cool and soooo smart and sooo “fucking rad.” All you wanted to do was tell him to shut up. You were so sick of hearing about Ronnie fucking Ecker.

“That’s great, Eddie.” You huff, trying not to roll your eyes as you continue walking down the sidewalk to your house. You figured that Eddie would continue to be too oblivious to notice how upset you were becoming but, to your surprise, he finally picked up on it after your fourth reprise of “that’s great, Eddie.” He was starting to realize that things weren’t “great.”

“Hey, you okay?” He asks, searching your face that was set into a hard expression that he couldn’t read but he knew were upset.

“I’m fine.” You grumble, your hands clenched into fists.

“Are you sure?” He questions “You seem mad.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not, okay?” You snap, causing Eddie to raise his eyebrows.

“But you seem-“

“I said I’m fine!” You growl, catching Eddie off guard. Okay, you were definitely mad.

“Hey, did I do something wrong?” He asks “If I said something that-“

“I’ve gotta go.” You cut him off, walking ahead of him to stomp across your front lawn. You would think that Eddie would catch a hint but he didn’t. He just continued to follow you like an idiot.

“Wait, I thought we were hanging out.” He asks, completely confused.

“Yeah, well, I forgot that I have plans.”

“Plans? But I thought we had plans?” He pouts.

“Well, I’m busy now.” You quip “Maybe your best friend Ronnie is free.”

Before Eddie could say anything, you open your front door, storming inside before slamming the door in his face.

Great. Now what did he do?

────────

It was the first ever fight that you and Eddie had ever had and he was completely lost. No matter how much he thought about it, he still couldn’t figure out what he did wrong. Were you upset with him about Ronnie?

But why?

For three whole days, you had given him the cold shoulder. Every time he would speak to you, you would ignore him. Every time he sat down next to you on the school bus and said hi, you didn’t say anything back- and it was breaking Eddie’s heart.

You still sat next to him on the bus and at lunch and in the very few classes you shared together but you never spoke to him. He tried to pass you notes but you just ignored them. Whatever it was that he did, he knew it wasn’t good. All he wanted to do was fix it but he didn’t know how. Things finally came to a head the day before the talent show.

You were standing at your locker, grabbing the textbooks that you needed for homework that night when he sidled up to you in the hallway.

“Hey.” He says, voice small and nervous as he looks down at his shoes. You don’t say anything back but he wasn’t surprised

“Can you please just tell me why you’re mad?” He pleads “Like, what did I do? You just started treating me like an asshole out of nowhere for literally no reason.”

“For no reason?” You scoff, your eyes narrowing at him “You really can’t see why I’m mad?”

“No.” He admits “I don’t. But I wish you would tell me so that we can squash it. I don’t like it when you’re mad at me. It’s….it feels weird. Did I say something? Did I do something?”

“It’s fine.” You huff “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter.” Eddie argues “It matters to me. You’re my best friend.”

The words “best friend” felt like a gut-punch after hearing him talk about how great some other girl was non-stop for weeks. Eddie was practically your only friend. It sucked that there was someone else that he really liked besides you. Maybe even romantically. The thought of Eddie having a crush on someone else was heart-wrenching.

“You know what I hate about being your friend, Eddie?” You start, turning to look at him.

“Um…no?” He replies.

“I hate that you’re my only friend. I hate that I care about you more than you care about me.”

“Huh?” Eddie asks, completely dumbfounded “Where is this coming from?”

“Don’t worry about it.” You say “I’m sure you have a million other things to think about.”

“…..Okay….” Eddie replies slowly, feeling as though he were walking on eggshells with you. That no matter what he said, he would just end up being wrong. “Are you at least coming to the talent show tomorrow?”

He looks at you with hopeful eyes as you stood in front of him, clutching your math textbook.

“I don’t know.” You retort “Maybe. I might be busy.”

Eddie immediately felt as if he were a balloon that was rapidly deflating.

“Oh.” He says “Okay. I….I thought that maybe you’d come. To see me play.”

He had been working really hard on his talent show performance with his newly-formed band Corroded Coffin. It was their first debut performance. He couldn’t imagine performing for the first time without you being there to witness it. Especially when you were the reason why it was even possible for him to perform in the first place- the girl that picked out his guitar.

“Well…I’m not sure. I have after-school stuff.” You lie, trying to seem nonchalant.

“Oh.” Eddie’s face drops.

“It’s not like you need me anyway.” You say “You have your other friends. They seem to be way cooler than I am.”

You close the door of your locker, arms full of books as you look at Eddie who seemed to be completely defeated. Your stomach began to twist in guilt.

“But I’ll see you around.” You say “Good luck tomorrow.”

────────

Unbeknownst to Eddie, you had decided to show up the next day. Even though you were upset with him, you didn’t have the heart to miss his first performance. You found the closest seat that you could get to the stage, a small bouquet of red carnations in your hands.

You had spent all night thinking about Eddie and how much you missed him. The way he teased you, his stupid jokes, his hugs- just him. You didn’t know why you were so upset with him in the first place. It was okay for Eddie to have other friends- even friends that were girls. So, why did it bother you so much?

But, back behind the stage curtain, Eddie was having a nervous breakdown.

“Eddie, you’ve gotta snap out of it and warm up otherwise we’re gonna sound like shit.”

Ronnie watches as Eddie paces backstage, his head going into overdrive as he tries not to have an episode. Other the past few days leading up to the talent show, he has grown more and more anxious about performing- about getting onstage in front of everyone and not only playing guitar but singing.

He had wanted to talk to you about it, hoping that it would ease his mind but you were so busy being mad at him that Eddie couldn’t seem to get out of his own head. Now the anxiety had built and it was to the point where he didn’t know if he could do it.

“I can’t do it.” He murmurs, his hands shaking “I don’t think I can play.”

“What do you mean you can’t play?” Dougie asks, tuning his guitar “We’ve been practicing for weeks.”

“I know,” Eddie breathes out shakily “I…I can’t. Everyone’s gonna look at us. What if I fuck up?”

“Eddie,” Ronnie replies “Everything is going to be okay. Just take a few breaths. You’re ready. We’ve been practicing our asses off. We’re gonna go out there and we’re gonna kick ass. Got it?”

But Eddie was too distracted. He wanders off to the wings, pulling the curtain back as he peeks out into the crowd. The auditorium wasn’t packed full but there were a decent amount of people.

“F-fuck….” Eddie stammers, his stomach twisting in knots. Then his eyes do exactly what he had sworn himself not to do- he searched for you.

“I’m freaking out, Ronnie. Totally freaking out. What the fuck do I do?” Eddie panics.

Ronnie sidles up beside him, trying to talk some sense into him.

“Eddie, close the curtain.” She demands “That’s not going to help.”

“But I need-“

“He’s looking for his giiiirlfriend.” Dougie teases.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Eddie denies, his eyes still sweeping across the room.

“Bullshit.” Dougie laughs.

“Leave him alone, Doug.” Ronnie replies, watching Eddie survey the crowd.

“Do you think she’s coming?” She asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No.” Eddie shakes his head “She’s still mad at me.”

“What exactly did you do again?” Ronnie inquires.

“I don’t even know.” Eddie groans “But she won’t talk to me and she’s probably not coming. I-“

“There she is.” Dougie interjects, pointing to where you were seated in the third row- carnations in your lap as you sat in your seat. The best part? You were wearing that dress- the dress.

“Marigold…” Eddie whispers, his heart pounding in his chest as he looked at you- at how pretty you were.

“Wait.” Ronnie pipes in, cranking her neck to get a better view “That’s her?”

“Yeah.” Eddie murmurs, mostly to himself as he admires you. The way that you wore your hair, how cute you looked in that dress that you hated but knew that he loved. His girl.

No, not his girl. At least, not in that way.

“Great.” Ronnie states “Now the two of you can talk things out before we go onstage. Kiss and make up and all of that. Maybe you’ll be less of a nervous wreck.”

“No!” Eddie shouts, pulling Ronnie back by the arm as she tried to walk off “Don’t.”

“Why not?” Ronnie asks “You’re clearly a huge fucking mess right now and if she can help then I’m going to go get her.”

“No, she’s still mad at me! Ronnie, don’t-“

But it was too late, she was already walking off to go and find you.

────────

You fiddled nervously with the cellophane that was bunched around the bouquet of flower, completely overthinking whether or not showing up had been a good idea. You didn’t even know if Eddie wanted to see you. Especially after how mean and nasty you had been to him these past few days.

You were starting to wonder if it was foolish for you to even show up. He probably didn’t even want you here. You were so in your own head that you barely noticed the girl that had walked up to the end of the row you were sitting in before she called your name. Your head snaps over to look at her.

“Hey, sorry, I know you don’t know me but….I’m Ronnie. One of Eddie’s friends. Look. I know you two aren’t exactly talking to each other right now but Eddie’s really freaking out back there. Like, malfunctioning. I thought maybe you could-“

But before Ronnie could finish her sentence, you had already leaped out of your seat, carnations in hand as you exit the row of seats.

“Where is he?” You ask “Is he okay?”

Ronnie just stares at you, taking in the way that you immediately jumped up to help as soon as you heard that Eddie might need you. Ronnie took in the worried look on your face and how tightly you gripped the bouquet. Then it hit Ronnie; as much as Eddie swore it wasn’t the truth, she knew that there was something between the two of you. Something sweet and caring and tender.

“Come on.” She says “I’ll take you backstage.”

────────

Eddie couldn’t stop his hands from shaking. It felt like Ronnie had left forever ago. He was somehow freaking out harder than he was before. With every act that went onstage, it only brought Corroded Coffin closer and closer to playing.

His chest felt tight. He felt like he was having trouble breathing. Like he wasn’t getting enough oxygen in his lungs and he was at risk of passing out. He tried to tune his guitar to keep his mind off of it. He tried to focus on all of the corrections that Ronnie and Dougie had given him but it somehow only made things worse. He was so in his head until-

“Eds?”

He whips around, following the sweet sound of your voice as you stood a few feet away from him backstage- standing next to Ronnie as you held a bouquet of flowers.

His chest felt tight as he looked at you up close. That yellow dress, your soft hair, your pretty eyes. His marigold.

Because he could open his mouth to speak, you were already starting towards him, pulling him into a tight hug. He let himself melt into your arms- his favorite place on earth.

As soon as he felt you wrap your arms around his neck, it felt like a weight had been lifted. Something that had unknowingly been weighing him down. Maybe it was his nerves or the stress of fighting with you but now it was gone in an instant now that he was in your arms. All of it dissipating like magic.

“I’m sorry.” You mumble, your head resting against his shoulder “I’m sorry that I was mad at you. I’m not mad anymore. It was so stupid anyway.”

“It’s okay.” Eddie says, his arms tightening around you- worried that if he didn’t hold on tight you would disappear again. He didn’t want that to happen. “I’m sorry for whatever I did.”

“No, it’s not you. I was being stupid.” You argue.

“Yeah but it was probably because I did something stupid. I just….can we not fight anymore? I don’t like it.” He suggests.

“Yeah.” You agree “Okay.” Then a moment passes “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m a little better now.” He sighs. Really, he felt so much better now that he had made up with you.

“Are you sure?” You ask, pulling back so that you could look Eddie on the eyes. He immediately felt empty without your body against his.

“Yeah.” He nods “Just nervous. I can’t stop shaking.”

You look down at his hands, noticing the small tremble.

“What can I do to help?” You ask, reaching for his hand as you softly grab it- beginning to rub circles into the back of his hand with the pad of your thumb. Something inside of Eddie felt like a dam that was about to burst.

You were holding his hand.

“I…I, uh…” he stammers, trying to keep his mind straight but was failing with every little touch that you had given him “Could you…uh…could you maybe keep doing that? Holding my hand?”

You look over at him. “Is it helping?”

“Yeah.” He whispers, nodding his head “It’s helping a lot.”

In response, you loosen your grip which immediately makes Eddie nervous that he had said the wrong thing but his mind was put at ease once he realized that you were interlacing your fingers with his.

“Just tell me when you want me to let go, okay?” You insist.

But Eddie would never tell you to let go. Not ever. He wanted to hold your hand forever if he could. He wanted your hand to be glued to his hand so that you were inseparable. So that you couldn’t leave his side. So that you could be this close to each other always. He never wanted to stop holding your hand. But Eddie didn’t say that. He wouldn’t dare. Because that’s not what friends said. So, instead, he tries to hide his feelings as best as he could- like he always does. Gently giving your hand a squeeze.

“Okay.”

────────

After the talent show, you were wedged into a booth table in Benny’s next to Eddie as he recounted again, for the millionth time, how well Corroded Coffin performed at the talent show. Dougie and Ronnie were sitting across from you both, laughing as Eddie mimed out his guitar solo.

“Did you see how sick that was? Can’t believe I almost didn’t listen to you.” He exclaims to Ronnie.

“See what happens when you actually listen to my expertise?” She says, a smug smile on her face.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Eddie waves her off before turning to you “What did you think? I mean, you got to watch the whole thing.”

You felt bashful underneath his stare, trying to keep your breathing normal as you watched your best friend geek out over something he was so passionate about.

“You guys were great.” You say “Like, really great.”

“Yeah?” Eddie smiles as if he had just received high praise in a Rolling Stone magazine.

“Yeah. You guys were pretty awesome.” You answer “Don’t let it go to your head though.”

That causes Ronnie to snort.

“So,” Dougie starts, a sly smile on his face “How long have you two been going out?”

Eddie just about knocked over his milkshake.

“Dude!” He exclaims “I told you already. We’re not like…that.”

“Okay, okay. Sheesh.” Dougie says, holding his hands up in surrender “Don’t shoot me.”

“We’re just friends. Emphasis on the friends.” Eddie further elaborates.

“Alright, alright.” Dougie replies “I get it.”

Next to Eddie, you self-consciously suck down the last of your milkshake- trying not to let your disappointment show on your face. Eddie had been far too hasty to correct Dougie’s assumptions that you were a couple. As if it would be the most mortifying and embarrassing thing that could ever happen to him.

Eddie turns to you, noticing your empty shake glass.

“You want another one?” He asks.

“Oh. I-“

“Vanilla, right?” He asks, sliding out of the booth.

“Yeah.” You mutter quietly.

“Cool.” He says “We’ll be right back.”

As Eddie and Dougie venture off for more milkshakes, you are left sitting across from Ronnie who seemed to be swirling the straw around in her glass. It was silent. You didn’t know what to say to her so you were surprised when she was the one to speak first.

“He really likes you, y’know.”

“What?” You ask, your breath catching.

“Eddie.” Ronnie clarifies “He really likes you. Like, a lot. All he ever does is talk about you. How cool you are. How you’re, like, totally best friends. Stuff like that.”

The admission catches you off-guard but was also incredibly heartwarming. Eddie talked about you to his friends?

“Really?” You ask, stunned.

“Yeah. It’s actually kinda annoying. Like, he doesn’t shut up.” Ronnie snorts “You would’ve thought you invented Metallica or something.”

“Oh.” You say “I didn’t know that he talked about me…to other people.”

“I know. Which is why I’m telling you this. I’ve known Eddie since we were, like, six. Eddie can be kind of-“

“Closed off?”

“Yeah.” Ronnie replies “Exactly. So, hearing him talk about you the way that he does….I just wanted you to know. He cares about you. I can tell that you care about him too. I guess I’m just glad that he has someone. You know, besides me and Dougie. Just don’t break his heart, okay?”

“I-“

“Yeah, I know. You don’t have to say it. I know you guys aren’t like that.” Ronnie clarifies “What I mean is that if you and Eddie ever stop being friends, I feel like it would destroy him, you know. So, yeah. Promise me that won’t happen.”

“Of course!” You exclaim “I’d never stop being friends with Eddie. I mean, sometimes he’s annoying and-“

“Bossy and makes stupid decisions and can be an asshole sometimes?” Ronnie adds.

“Yes.” You agree “Exactly. But that’s what I like about him. He’s not, you know…like everyone else. He’s different.”

Ronnie watches as your lips curl into a shy smile. All Ronnie could think about was how completely gone you were for him and you didn’t even know it.

“Yeah.” Ronnie snorts “You can say that again.”

Just as you opened your mouth to say something else, Eddie and Dougie return to the table.

“Vanilla milkshake, for the lady.” He announces, setting it down with a dramatic flourish. You look up and catch Ronnie smirking at you.

“What?” Eddie asks, looking between you and Ronnie “What did I miss?”

“Nothing, Munson.” Ronnie says “Don’t worry about it.”

Ronnie glances over at you, giving you a knowing look as she drinks from her milkshake. Your heart pounds in your chest while Eddie just stands there in confusion.

“….Okay….” He says, looking at Ronnie as if she were up to something before he slid back into the booth next to you. He places down a basket of fries between the two of you.

“Help me eat these?” He suggests, nudging the basket closer to you.

Really, he had bought them for you. To share. He knew they were your favorite and that you would never order them for yourself at the risk of other people looking at you and judging you for it. Because of puberty and your developing body, you were hyper-aware of people thinking certain things about you. However, Eddie didn’t care. Because sharing fries with you at Benny’s was one of his favorite parts of your friendship.

“I cant-“

“C’mon, you’re so not going to make me eat this whole thing by myself.” Eddie pouts “Please?”

His brown puppy dog eyes are what got you. You folded every time.

“Alright.” You relent “Okay.”

You pick up a fry from the basket, popping it in your mouth as you try to keep your face neutral but Eddie could see how happy you were. Sitting next to him at Benny’s as you shared fries and milkshakes. You had told him before how this was your favorite place on earth. Sharing those moments with him. Truth be told, you loved every moment you shared with Eddie. Always. But these? They were by far your favorite.

As you and Eddie took turns sharing the basket of fries, Ronnie looked on at the two of you- watching as you laughed at Eddie’s jokes. As he leaned in closer to you when you spoke. How his eyes would land on your lips as if he wanted to kiss them. Ronnie couldn’t help but compare you both to a couple of magnets, stuck together by a great force.

Ronnie wouldn’t say it in front of the both of you but she could sense that there was something more than friendship between you two. Care, trust, empathy. Love.

Definitely love. The truest kind. Her friend Eddie Munson was in love. Completely and stupidly in love.

────────

1983

"Hey, you're Munson's girl, right?"

The voice startles you, causing you to look up from the book that you had been reading on a bench outside of the school. You lock eyes with none other than Jason Carver- one of the most popular guys in school. And he was talking to you.

“Oh, I- uh…no.” You stammer, nervous by his presence as he stares at you “I mean, I know Eddie. We’re friends. I’m not- he’s not, you know, my boyfriend. Just a friend. Who’s a boy.”

God, you probably sounded like an idiot.

“Okay.” Jason smiles, nodding as his tightens his grip on the gym bag that he had hoisted over his shoulder “Cool. I mean, I heard that from other people but I wasn’t too sure. You two seem pretty close so I thought I’d just ask you. But yeah, good to know. Really good.”

Your heartbeat speeds up as he smiles at you again, flashing his perfect teeth and his blue eyes. Practically every girl in school had a crush on Jason Carver and you were no exception.

“Are you just hanging around here?” He asks “All alone?”

“Oh.” You say “I’m actually waiting for Eddie. He usually drives me home.”

“Really?” Jason asks “School’s been out for a while. It’s getting dark out.”

“Oh, yeah, I know.” You explain “He hosts the Hellfire Club. They usually take a while to finish up their sessions.”

“I see.” Jason replies “Are you not a part of his club?”

“Well, I mean, sort of. I sub for some of the other members sometimes if they can’t make a session. It’s not really my thing though. I kind of just do it to help Eddie.”

“Do you do a lot of things for Eddie?” Jason questions, raising an eyebrow quizzically.

“I mean, we’re friends. We do stuff for each other, you know.”

“Hm.” Jason nods “And you guys are, you know, just friends? Like, there’s nothing going on between you two?”

“Me and Eddie?” You exclaim, practically choking on your own spit “No. Definitely not. Just friends.”

“Okay, cool.” Jason says “Sorry, I just wanted to make sure. I….Okay, this might seem weird but I’ve been noticing you around lately and I..uh..I’ve gotta be honest, you caught my eye.”

“Really?” You ask, your voice laced with shock “Me?”

“Yeah.” Jason shrugs “That so hard to believe?”

“I…no, I just…I’m surprised…and flattered, I guess.” You admit “I’m surprised that you know I exist, to tell you the truth.”

“Really? Huh.” Jason laughs “Would you believe me if I told you that I thought you were cute?”

Holy shit. Did he just say what you thought he said?

Jason Carver thought you were cute?

“Oh, I-“

“Hey, I’m actually headed home. Do you want a ride? I couldn’t forgive myself if I just let a cute girl sit outside while it’s getting dark.” Jason flirts.

“I-I’m really flattered but I should probably wait for Eddie.”

“You sure?” He asks “Those Hellfire meetings can go pretty late, can’t they?”

This was true. Eddie was such a control freak about his position as DM that he tried to cram as much as he could into one session which usually left everyone gathered around the table for hours. Which means that, by proxy, you were stuck waiting for him until he remembered your existence and that you were waiting for him.

“Yeah.” You nod “Sometimes.”

“I’m sure you’ve had a long day. Why not just let me drive you? I don’t bite.” Jason teases.

Now that you thought about it, you did have a long day. You were tired, your feet were sore, and your book wasn’t doing much to stave off your boredom. You also had a mountain of homework that you hadn’t even started on. Maybe you should go home. Eddie would understand, right?

“Yeah, okay.” You finally relent, watching a smile spread across Jason Carver’s face “I’ll let you drive me home.”

────────

It was around seven pm when the phone rang.

You had just finished up washing dishes after dinner when you walk over to the phone, picking it up as you press the receiver to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Jesus H Christ! Good to know that you’re alive!” Eddie exclaims on the other end of the line, his voice laced with what seemed like sarcasm and worry.

“Hey Eds.” You say.

Hey? He had been searching the whole school for you for over an hour and all you could manage to say was hey?

Eddie huffs out an incredulous laugh.

“Do you have any idea how fucking worried I was? I was five seconds away from filing a missing persons report, for christ’s sake! I had everyone from Hellfire looking for you.”

“Oh.” You squeak, a feeling of guilt washing over you. “I’m sorry, Eds! I didn’t realize it would be a huge thing. I should’ve told you I was leaving but I didn’t want to interrupt the campaign.”

“Sweetheart, I’d rather you interrupt the campaign than have me worried that something happened to you.” He sighs “How did you even get home? Did you walk?”

“No, I actually got a ride home.”

Eddie freezes, caught completely off-guard. Had he heard you right?

“Wait what?” He asks “You got a ride home? From who?”

From the moment he got his license and inherited his dad’s shitty van. Eddie had picked you up and dropped you off everywhere you needed to go. Whenever you wanted. It had always been that way. An unspoken arrangement that existed within your friendship. Who the hell would be driving you home besides him?

“You’re not gonna believe this.” You start, a grin spreading across your face. You were glad that Eddie couldn’t see it. He’d surely never let you live it down “Jason Carver drove me home.”

On the other side of the line, Eddie’s heart nearly stops.

“Carver?” He says “Jason Carver. Drove you home?”

“Yeah.” You reply.

“As in, the captain of the basketball team?”

“Yes?”

“Okay, wait.” Eddie malfunctions “I didn’t even know that you knew any of the jockstraps. Since when do you hang out with Jason Carver?”

“I don’t.” You explain “He just came up to me while I was waiting for you and we started talking. Then he offered me a ride home and I took it.”

“He just came up to you and started talking to you?” Eddie questions “What did he want?”

“Nothing. We just talked. He’s really sweet.” You blush.

Sweet? Jason Carver and his gang of jockstraps were anything but sweet.

“Sweet, huh?” Eddie replies, his voice laced with disdain.

“Yeah.” You sigh, your voice dreamy. It made Eddie want to puke.

“And he didn’t try anything with you? Didn’t, like, hit on you or anything?” He interrogates.

“What? No. No, he was really nice. He was a total gentleman.”

Uh-huh, Eddie thought, and I’m fucking Ronnie James Dio.

“You’re sure?”

“….Yes?” You ask “Why are you acting so weird?”

“What did you guys talk about?” Eddie pushes, wanting to know everything.

“You know, just normal stuff. School. We talked about you, actually.” You admit. The confession throws Eddie for a loop.

“Me?” He echoes

“Yeah. Funny story, actually. He thought we were dating.” You explain “Isn’t that weird?”

No.

“…Um…yeah.” Eddie stammers “That’s…that is weird. So, like, what did you say?”

“What do you mean?” You ask “I told him we were friends, obviously. Then guess what he told me?”

Eddie’s stomach began to tighten.

“What?”

“He told me that he thought I was cute.” You practically squeal.

“He said what?” Eddie guffaws, his mouth falling open. He was so glad you couldn’t see his reaction over the phone.

“I know, right?” You squeak “Isn’t that, like, I….I can’t get over it. Jason fucking Carver thinks I’m cute. Can you believe it?”

Jason fucking Carver was so fucking dead.

“Huh.” Eddie huffs.

“Huh? What do you mean ‘huh’?” You question, immediately picking up on Eddie’s weird behavior.

“Nothing.” Eddie replies coolly “It’s nothing.”

“No, what? Why are you acting like that?”

“It’s just….Jason Carver? Really?” Eddie snorts, catching you off guard. Was he laughing at you? “Just thought you’d have better taste.”

“Okay, that was mean.” You say, shaking your head at how Eddie was behaving. Why was he being such a jerk.

“I mean, can you blame me?” Eddie scoffs “Some sheep-brained ball-dribbler calls you cute and now you’re planning your wedding.”

“What? I’m not ‘planning my wedding’” You sass “One of the most popular guys in school complimented me and I can’t even tell my best friend about it? This is, like, huge for me and you’re acting like you don’t even care.”

And, boy, was that far from the truth. Because Eddie did care. He cared a lot.

“I just thought you’d were smart enough to not fall for guys like that.” Eddie retorts “Guys with bland personalities and low IQ’s who think that their entire life’s purpose is to toss balls into laundry baskets.”

“Okay, what is your problem?” You finally snap “Why are you being so bitchy?”

“I just don’t see how you’re so blinded by this.” Eddie quips.

“Blinded by what?”

“Are you really too blind to see what he’s doing? Sure, he can tell you that you’re cute as much as he wants but that doesn’t stop me from seeing right through the bullshit.” Eddie tried to reason “He’s only being nice to you to try and get in your pants.”

Your mouth falls open in shock. Did Eddie really just say that?

“Excuse me?” You practically gasp.

“What?” Eddie replies coldly “It’s the truth. He’s being all nice to you to try and hookup with you. Then he’s going to ditch you and pretend like you don’t even exist.”

“Wow.” You say, your tone hurt and incredulous “That’s really what you think of me?”

“No.” Eddie explains “What’s what I think Carver thinks of you. That he can have sex with any girl he wants because he’s popular.”

“And what makes you think that I’d hookup with him? Like, you seem all sure of it or something. Like you think I’m easy and would just, I don’t know, give it up to anybody.” You reply, hurt in your voice.

Was this really what Eddie thought of you.

“You’re twisting my words.” Eddie argues “That’s not what I said.”

“But it’s what you meant, right?”

“What? No! I-“

“You know what, Eddie? Fuck you!”

Before he could respond, you slam the phone back into the wall- hanging up on his before he could even get a word in.

Inside of the trailer, Eddie stood there. Dumbfounded as he listened to the dead line ring in his ear.

Did you just hang up on him?

────────

“Holy shit. Eddie, look.”

Eddie looks up from the character sheets that he was studying next to his locker, following Jeff’s line of sight as he watches you stroll through the front doors of Hawkins High School- right next to Jason Carver.

He was holding your hand.

What…the…fuck?

“Holy shit.” Gareth breathes, staring as Jason whispered something to you- causing you to tilt your head back in a laugh.

“Did you guys, like, have a fight or something?” Jeff questions.

Eddie could barely hear him over the erratic beating of his heart as he clenched his fists.

“Whatever.” Was all Eddie could mutter in order to not go into a complete meltdown.

“Whatever?” Gareth asks, raising an eyebrow questioningly “But aren’t you guys like…a thing?”

“What?” Eddie scoffs “Ew no. She’s not my girl. We’re not like that.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” Jeff snickers “Now she’s all cozied up with Carver. Bet you’re loving that.”

“It’s none of my business.” Eddie replies icily “She can dates who she wants. Even jockstraps that use fucking Sun-In and have a negative number of brain cells.”

Just as you and Jason are making your way down the hallway, you pass Eddie and the Hellfire guys. You lock eyes momentarily before your pull your eyes away, staring straight ahead. You had ignored him.

Alright, Eddie thought. Two can play that game.

────────

1988

Eddie had been driving around Hawkins aimlessly for hours, your voice ringing out in his head.

Are you in or are you out?

His knuckles gripped the steering wheel, his mind going into overdrive. He was thinking about everything and nothing all at once. His head was filled with so much that it felt like he was carrying the weight of the world between his shoulders. Everywhere he drove past reminded him of you.

Milkshakes and fries at Benny’s Diner.

Snack runs to the gas station late at night as you sat on the curb next to each other and drank Slurpee’s.

Blind-buying cassette tapes for each other at the record store early morning on a Saturday and blasting them in the van. The wind whipping through your hair as you rolled the windows down.

Egging Tommy Hagan’s house on Halloween.

Carving your names in the trunk of an old oak tree near Lover’s Lake.

Shared rock concerts at the shitty dive bars right outside of Hawkins where you both screamed so loudly that your voices were practically gone the next day.

Arguing over what to rent at Family Video on Thursday nights where he would pretend to be annoyed when he let you win.

So many years of memories. The best times of you and him. Was he really going to throw it all away like that? What the fuck was he supposed to do?

You were his best friend, his person, his Samwise Gamgee….and you were pregnant with his baby.

Eddie wasn’t ready to be a father. Not even fucking close. He didn’t even know if he wanted kids and now, here he was, with a baby on the way with a girl that wasn’t even his. Not really. Fuck, how could things have turned out like this?

He thought back to the many times where you had spoken to him at length about your future plans- where you saw yourself in the next ten years. A suburban dream house with the prettiest garden on the block, a husband, a job you loved. Maybe a couple of kids if you felt up to it. But, most of all, you wanted to be happy. Eddie knew that he could never give you that.

Eddie was a loser wannabe rockstar with a dead end bartending job as he sold weed on the side. You didn’t fucking deserve that. You deserved a guy would could provide for you. Someone who could make you happy and make sure you want for nothing. Now, here you were, pregnant with his baby that you insisted on keeping and there was nothing he could do about it. Another story of failure to add to the cursed Munson family name.

You deserved better.

So much better.

You deserved someone like Steve Harrington who came from money and stood by your side during your pregnancy. Not someone like Eddie who was a spineless fucking coward that already had one foot out the door. You didn’t need him. Your baby didn’t need him. Eddie would be nothing but dead weight for the both of you. Completely fucking useless like his own father whose mistakes Eddie was destined to repeat.

No, he couldn’t stick around for this. Not when he got you pregnant and just ruined your entire life. Unlike Eddie, you were destined to do something with your life. Not to be tied down by the town freak and his Satan spawn. He couldn’t let you do this. But, if you were going to do it anyway, Eddie couldn’t just stick around and watch it. All of this was a car crash waiting to happen.

He would write you a letter. He would pack his shit and go somewhere where you wouldn’t be able to reach him. It would fucking sting but it was for the best. He couldn’t watch you get dragged down into a life of single motherhood. He couldn’t be around when the kid was old enough to wonder who their father was. No, he was going to do you a favor but taking himself out of the picture.

He would write a note. He would explain everything. He would tell you that he loved you and that he couldn’t hold you back by staying. He couldn’t help you raise a child that he would surely fuck up. He couldn’t watch you struggle and take care of his kid until you eventually woke up one day and realized that all of this was a huge mistake.

Having sex with him was a mistake, being his friend was a mistake, loving him was a mistake. Fucking meeting him was a mistake. Eddie couldn’t be your biggest life regret. He wanted more for you. He wanted you to want more for yourself. He wasn’t the man you needed. He would never be. The best thing he could do for you was let you go.

────────

1983

“I can’t believe she’s going to the dance with Jason Carver.” Eddie grumbles, biting angrily into a slice of pizza as Steve Harrington and Jonathan Byers listen to his rant. It was supposed to be a carefree guys night before it completely evolved into an Eddie bitching session.

“Like, seriously? Him? The guys probably listens to Bruce Springsteen.” Eddie scoffs.

“What’s wrong with Bruce Springsteen?” Steve asks.

“I hate Bruce Springsteen.” Eddie explains as if it were obvious “They’re probably dancing to Top 40 hits and gushing over how popular everyone looks tonight.”

Eddie rolls his eyes so hard that they could’ve gotten lost in the back of his head. He hated what you had become. Suddenly you were Jason Carver’s girl that was too good to speak to him- too good to hang out or even call. It had been two weeks of the both of you ignoring each other and pretending neither of you exists but Eddie couldn’t deny the fact that he missed you. That he was lost without you. Now you were at the shitty winter formal with a guy that wasn’t him and it was killing him.

“Eddie, have you thought about telling her how you feel? I mean, if you-“

Jonathan’s thoughts were immediately cut off by the phone ringing. Eddie’s brows furrow. It was past nine o’clock and no one called past nine. He gets off the couch, walking to the phone as he picks it up.

“Hello?”

“Eddie?”

It was you.

You and your sweet voice. He almost sighed into the phone at the sound of it, complete forgetting that he was mad at you. That you ignored him and ditched him for two weeks for a guy that played with balls.

“Are you there? Eds?” He squeezes his eyes shut as he tried to shake off the thoughts of how much he missed you and your voice.

“What do you want?” He asks coldly “Surprised you even remember that I exist.”

“Eddie, I-“

“Look, I’m busy right now. I-“

“Eddie…” He was suddenly met with the sounds of broken sobs, causing his heart to twist in his chest. You were crying. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I should’ve called. I know you’re mad but I….I really fucking need you.”

“What happened?” He asks hastily, voice filling with panic “Where are you? Did someone hurt you?”

“No.” You hiccup “I’m fine. I just…can you come pick me up? Please?”

“Where are you, sweetheart?” He asks, his hand tightly gripping the phone.

"I'm outside of Benny's. At the payphone."

"Okay." Eddie breathes "Just stay right there, okay? I'm coming, baby."

────────

1988

It happened while Eddie was pulled over on the side of the highway, pen in hand as he tried to balance his leather journal on the steering wheel in order to write. Every time he thought he had gotten a good start on what he wanted to say to you, he ripped the page out-crumpling it up in his hands as he tosses it onto the floor of the van. He didn't have room to make mistakes on this. He needed you to read his words, his heart on the page as he explained to you why he was leaving. Why he couldn't stay and let himself ruin everything you built.

He couldn't focus. His mind was consumed with you.

The way that you used to ambush him with your Polaroid camera, snapping photos of him that you'd hang in your locker or use in place of bookmarks. How you created a collage that took up practically an entire wall of pictures of you and him.

How you would call him right at midnight on the dot when it was his birthday because you couldn't fathom not being the first one to say it.

How you would steal his hoodies and return them with the lingering scent of your perfume.

How you had taken care of him when he caught the flu in eleventh grade.

Bandaging up his hands after he would burn himself on the iron when you would help him DIY his battle vests. How you would jokingly tease him for being so clumsy and empty-headed.

All of the late nights you shared as you drove around town in the van together, just talking about nothing and everything all at once.

The books you lent him. The hugs you shared. The way that you had cried on his shoulder whenever something hurt you. The moments where you had fallen asleep with your head in his lap in the middle of a movie night. How Wayne would walk in and grin at him when he saw the way that Eddie would run his fingers through your hair soothingly. Like it was the most natural thing on earth, because it was.

How you used to leave your bedroom window cracked open for him so that he could climb in and listen to your Walkman together until it was almost one in the morning. The many, many times where he had looked at you and realized how much he loved you. The one time where he almost said it out loud. Leaving you behind would be the hardest fucking thing he'd ever have to do in his life.

Just when he was beginning to agonize over how to put it all on the paper in front of him, he began to hear the opening notes of a familiar song- all too familiar. It was your song.

Eddie practically freezes.

Eddie puts his pen into the cupholder, reaching for the volume knob on his stereo as he gently turned it up- trying to drown out the whooshing sound of cars passing him on the shoulder of the highway. Trying to quiet the overly running thoughts in his head. As soon as he heard the lead singer of Spandau Ballet begin to croon on WSQK, Eddie fucking lost it.

So true,

Funny how it seems,

Always in time but never in line for dreams,

Head over heels when toe to toe,

This is the sound of my soul,

This is the sound.

Suddenly, there you were. In that teal wrap dress as you sat across from him on your bedroom floor. Your face bare of makeup after crying in the passenger seat of his van as he drove you home. The same passenger seat that was next to him- empty. He remembered the way you smelled. Vanilla body wash and a hint of hair spray from styling your hair so nice and pretty for some other guy. A guy that didn't deserve you.

"Jesus Christ..." Eddie mutters, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried not to break down. But it was too late. The song transported him right back to the best moments of you.

His lips pressed sweetly against yours for the very first time the night after the 1982 Winter Formal. How close you were. How your kiss took his breath away. How he was convinced that he didn't need oxygen as long as he could breathe you in. Spandau Ballet playing softly in the background.

Senior prom 1986 in the school gymnasium with you in that beautiful pale pink dress with the puffy sleeves that reminded him of the yellow marigold dress you wore all those years ago. Holding you close with his hands on your hips as you swayed back and forth in his arms. How he wanted so badly to tell you that you were the most beautiful girl on earth. How, even though he hated prom and the forced conformity of it all, he couldn't imagine wanting to be anywhere else but there. With you.

I bought a ticket to the world,

But now I've come back again.

Why do I find it hard to write the next line?

Oh, I want the truth to be said.

"Fuck."

He sobs, tossing his notebook onto the floor of the passenger side as he buries his head against the steering wheel.

He couldn't leave you.

He didn't want to leave you.

He loved you. Fuck, he loved you so much that it fucking hurt.

He didn't think he could ever love anyone that way that he loved you. His love for you was so fucking massive and vast that he could never have room for anyone else in his heart. Not Chrissy Cunningham, not all of those other girls that he used to have crushes on or tried to hit on at the mall. No, you.

The way you kissed him, the way you smile, the sound of your laugh. How you never got mad at him enough to stop being his friend. How warm your body feels against his side whenever he'd snuggle you close. How you trusted him wholly and completely. How the way you held him the night that he made love to you made him want you to never let you.

He loves you.

Fuck, he fucking loves you with everything he fucking has.

There was never anyone else. How could there ever be? It was you.

It had always been you.

────────

1983

"Here, let me help you with that."

It was the first thing that Eddie had said to you since you had gotten into his van when he rescued you from Benny's Diner. You slide into the cab of the van, closed the door, and began to cry. Big fat tears that ruined your makeup. Now, here Eddie was, sitting across from you on your bedroom floor as he tried to remove your makeup for you.

As he swiped at the mascara stains on your cheeks, you try not to look at him- wrapping his jacket tighter around your body.

"Thank you." You whisper, finally breaking your silence "For doing this. For picking me up. I owe you."

"No." Eddie shakes his head, using the makeup wipe on your other eye "You don't owe me anything, sweetheart. If anything, I owe you an apology. I was a fucking jerk."

"No." You croak, your eyes watering again "You weren't. You were right, Eddie. This whole time."

"Right about what?" He asks, his hand stilling.

"About Jason." You sigh, lowering your head in embarrassment "He only wanted one thing from me. Everything you said about him was true."

Eddie's heart immediately drops into the pit of his stomach, anger flares inside of his chest like a red, hot inferno.

"What happened?" He says, his voice low and angry no matter how badly he was trying to stay calm in front of you. All he could think about was getting his hands on Jason fucking Carver and wringing his neck. "Did he do something to you?"

"He....tried to make out with me." You admit, biting your lip to keep yourself from crying all over again "I told him that I didn't want to. That I was saving my first kiss for someone special. I shouldn't have fucking said that. After I did, he got so mad at me. He, like, lost it. It scared me, Eddie."

Jason Carver was so fucking dead when he finally got his hands on him. He was practically already six feet under at that very fucking moment.

You could see how hard Eddie was balling up his fist, his jaw clenching.

"Eddie, it's okay." You whisper, "I'm okay."

"No, it's not fucking okay." He growls "Did he touch you? I swear to god I'm going to break every one of his goddamn fingers and he'll have to kiss his full fucking ride to some Ivy League bullshit college goodbye because he won't be able to dribble a ball ever again in his fucking life.”

"Eddie, no." You shake your head, reaching for his hand as you gently try to get him to unclench his fist- slipping your hand into his as you intertwine your fingers "He's not worth it. He's not worth you getting in trouble."

"You're worth it."

"Eddie, please don't. Just leave it alone, okay? Promise me."

Eddie clenches his jaw again, causing you to squeeze his hand until he looked at you.

"Promise me." You demand.

"Alright, alright." He grumbles "I promise."

"Okay." You nod "Good."

Your bedroom becomes quiet as the two of you look at each other. Not speaking. You didn't have to with Eddie. Not every moment needed to be filled with words and conversation like it was with Jason. With Eddie, the silence was comfortable. Safe.

"Eddie?" You ask, your voice small "Do you....do you think I'm pretty?"

The question hits him in the chest like a sledgehammer.

Of course, he thought you were pretty. He thought you were beautiful.

"I mean..."

"Just be honest? I won't get mad. I just...sometimes I worry that guys won't look at me and think that I'm...you know...attractive. At least, not enough to be serious about me. Not enough to want to ask me to be their girlfriend and take me out on dates and stuff. Like, show me off.”

And those guys are fucking idiots, Eddie thought.

"So, like...If you and I weren't friends, would you? Think that I was pretty?" You continue.

Even as a friend, I think you are the most gorgeous girl in the world.

"Sure." Eddie stammers nervously "Yeah. You're pretty. I....I think you're really pretty."

"Really?" You ask, a glint of something in your eyes that makes it so hard for Eddie to not lean into you, close the gap, and press his lips against yours. He thought that he could control himself. But you had already caught the way that he was staring at your lips. The way that his adams apple moved as he swallowed nervously.

"Eddie..." You whisper, leaning closer and closer into him that his heart was raging a war in his chest. He might be going crazy in that moment but he was almost completely, one-hundred percent certain that you were about to kiss him.

"Wait, wait wait." He calls out, holding his hand out between the two of you in order to maintain distance. "What....what are you doing?"

"I...I thought...do you not want to kiss me?”

"No, no, no." He shakes his head "Sweetheart, it's not that. I-"

"Shit. I just made things really weird, didn't I?" You agonize, covering your face with your hands.

"No!" Eddie says "It's not that. It's not that I don't want to kiss you. I do...it's just...you're really vulnerable right now. You were just crying over Jason and you just told me that you didn't want to kiss him because you wanted your first kiss to be special and I-"

"I do want it to be special." You say.

"Right." He nods "Which is why you shouldn't waste it on me."

"But I want to." You whisper, your eyes drawing down to his lips and it drove Eddie crazy. "I mean, I want it to be special."

"And it should be." Eddie agrees "It should be with someone you love and that you trust and-"

"I love you, Eddie.” You admit “And I trust you. More than anyone. I think that…if my first kiss is going to be with anyone, it should be you. I want it to be with you.”

"I don't think you're thinking straight."

"I think this is the straightest that I've ever thought in my life."

"Sweetheart, please don't say shit like that. You don't mean it. You're hurt and...and-"

"And I want my first kiss to be you. I…I’ve been thinking about it ever since Jason tried to kiss me. How I don’t want to just give it away to someone like him who’s going to hurt me or use me or take advantage of me. I want to get it over with but I want to do it with someone I trust so I don’t regret it. I know that, if I let you be my first kiss, I won’t wake up one day and wish I had done things differently. I know you’ll take care of me.”

"Sweetheart..." Eddie groans helplessly.

"Please, Eddie? I won't ask you again." You say "If you don't want to kiss me, that's okay. I don't-"

"That's not the problem." Eddie says "Sweetheart, I want to kiss the shit out of you right now. You look...god, you look unreal in that dress and your hair and...the way you're looking at me. I just... don't want to ruin anything by doing this.”

"You won't." You state "I wouldn't want my first kiss to be with anyone else, Eds. I'm going to ask you one more time and that's it, okay? Will you be my first kiss? Please?"

"Fuck...you're sure?" He asks, asking for consent. He needed to hear that you wanted this just as much as he did "You sure you want it to be me?"

"I'm sure, Eds. I want it to be you."

And he could've died right there. Just from hearing you say it.

Okay." Eddie agrees "If that's what you want, sweetheart."

"It is." You confirm.

"Fuck...okay." He breathes "I...shit, how do I do this? Do I just..."

"You've never kissed anyone before?" You ask, a surprised look on your face.

"Me? No!" Eddie laughs nervously "What makes you think that I've done this before?"

"I don't know." You explain "I just thought....you just seemed like you have before."

"Nope." He shakes his head "This'll be my first time too."

"Oh my god." You gasp "Fuck, and I'm over here pressuring you to kiss me. I'm such a fucking idiot." You bury your face in your hands again.

"Hey, stop it." Eddie says "You're not an idiot."

"Yes, I am!" You mumble against your hands "This whole time, I'm begging you to kiss me and you haven't even had your first kiss yet and you should probably be saving that for someone special and-"

Your words were immediately cut off by Eddie grabbing at your hands, removing them from your face before leaning in and smashing his lips onto yours to shut you up.

Suddenly, the world stopped spinning. Every possible thought that was swarming around in your head had disappeared. Your mind was completely blank. Quickly replaced with thoughts of Eddie.

How close he was to you, how soft his lips were, how they felt pressed up against you, the way that he smelled.

It was him. Only him.

Eddie.

Within a couple of seconds, he had pulled away. Ending the kiss as quickly as he had started it. Your eyes flutter open, catching sight of your best friend as his face looked flushed and nervous.

"I...uh...Was that okay?" He asks "Did I do that right? I mean, I guess you wouldn't know either."

"No, that was...it was nice." You smile, staring down at your hands in your lap "Can I be honest for a second?"

"Sure." Eddie clears his throat nervously "Yeah. Totally."

"I just...when I imagined it, what my first kiss would be like, I thought it would be a little different. More...passionate."

"Passionate?" Eddie asks, trying not to think about the way that the lower half of his body was reacting to how he had just kissed you. Were you trying to kill him?

"Yeah." You explain "And romantic. Not that it wasn't romantic. I just...I imagined that there would be more kissing....and music, maybe."

"Oh." Eddie says "Do you want to try it again? We can go again. You know, if you want to. I can try to be more....passionate."

"Would you really do that for me?" You ask.

Fuck, sweetheart, I'd do anything for you.

"Of course." Eddie says "We can put on a cassette if you want. If that'll make it more comfortable for you."

"Okay, yeah." You say nervously "I'll...go play something. Don't move, okay?"

Your bedroom would have to spontaneously burst into flames before Eddie could even think about moving an inch right now.

He watches as you rise from the floor, stumbling over to your nightstand as you reach for a half-used scented candle before lighting it. You were hoping that it would set the mood but now that you had lit it, it kind of felt ridiculous.

You quickly rifle through your cassette collection, searching for something to set the tone of what you and Eddie were about to do. You were literally trying to pick out a soundtrack to make out with your best friend to. Suddenly, everything felt so silly and so serious at the same time.

You finally settle on your brand new Spandau Ballet tape that you had just picked up from the record store the week before.

"Is this okay?" You stammer, holding out the cassette cover for Eddie to see. He couldn’t care less about what you put on. All he could think about was having your lips against his.

"Sure, sweetheart." He says "Whatever you want to play."

You pop it in, immediately skipping to the song you liked best. Track eight.

As the soft guitar notes of the beginning of the song began to pump through the speakers, you make your way back to Eddie- sinking down into the floor across from him.

"You okay?" He asks, taking in how nervous you looked "We don't have to do this."

"No, no. I want to." You assure him.

"Should I turn off the lights?" He asks "Will that help?"

"Yeah." You croak "Maybe."

Eddie stands to walk over to your bedroom door, hitting the lights. You try to control your breathing as he returns to you. You had already kissed him once. You had already gotten the first time out of the way. This should be easier, right?"

"Okay." Eddie whispers, sitting across from you. But closer than before. Close enough for his knees to be pressed against yours. "Ready?"

"Mhm," You nod.

The familiar track began to pump quietly in the background

I know this much is true....

You tried to let Tony Hadley sing away your nerves, relaxing your body as you felt Eddie reach for you- brushing his fingers through your hair. Your eyes fluttered closed, letting the feeling take you away.

"Is this okay?" Eddie whispers "Me touching you like this?"

"Yes." You squeak "You can...you can touch me more, if you want."

Holy Christ....

"Okay." Eddie swallows, his hand moving from your hair to your face, cupping it in his hands as he swept his thumbs against your cheekbones. Just feeling you. Just reminding himself that all of this was real.

That you were real.

Eddie could hardly focus on the song because he was worried about you feeling his hands tremble across your soft skin.

So true,

Funny how it seems,

Always in time but never in line for dreams.

Head over heels when toe to toe,

This is the sound of my soul,

This is the sound...

You reach for him, placing your hands on his wrists gently as you open your eyes to look at him and he practically melts. You and those pretty eyes. Those pretty lips. Pretty, pretty you.

"It's okay." You whisper "You don't have to be nervous. It's just me."

The words hit him hard as soon as they leave your lips.

It was just you. But you weren't just you. You were everything.

He leans in, resting his forehead against yours as he continued to stroke your face. Your nose bumps against his, causing his breath to hitch. So close. You were so, so close.

I bought a ticket to the world,

But now I've come back again.

Why do I find it hard to write the next line?

Oh, I want the truth to be said.

You nudge your nose into his again, playfully, as the corners of your lips lift into a grin.

Fuck, you were so cute. So, so cute.

I know this much is true....

Eddie practically sighs.

I know this much is true...

"You gonna kiss me or what, Munson?" You murmur.

"I'm getting there, don't worry." He promises "Let me take my time."

With a thrill in my head

And a pill on my tongue,

Dissolve the nerves that have just begun.

Listening to Marvin all night long.

This is the sound of my soul,

This is the sound....

He leans into you, intoxicated by your sweet scent as he finally presses his lips against yours. Sure, this time. Ready.

In his head, he tries to recollect every past memory of every chick-flick romance that you had forced him to sit through throughout the years, trying to copy what he had seen in those movies. How the love interest always kissed the girl in such a way that he took her breath away- and that’s all Eddie wanted. To take your breath away.

Eddie moves one of his hands from where it was holding your face, placing it on the back of your neck to pull you in closer to him- deepening the kiss as he tilts his head. You follow his lead as he slots his lips against yours. The action earns him a barely audible moan from you, causing Eddie to feel as though he had just been hit by lightening. Completely electrified. He was doing something right. Thank god.

What he didn’t expect was for your body to react even further by leaning into him, shifting onto your knees to get closer to him. To kiss him back.

You were so close that it was intoxicating. Your lips against his as he cupped his hand behind your neck and kissed you harder. He wanted to go further but he didn’t want to cross any boundaries. He was happy with just this. Heated closed mouth kisses as you pressed your chest against his.

God, your fucking chest.

The way your boobs were pressed up against his chest was driving him wild. He tried to focus his mind on something else. Anything but your breasts against him and how they might feel without your dress in the way.

Your chest, your skin, the heat of your body.

Eddie wanted to feel you. All of you.

And this was only kissing. Barely even making out.

Imagine if you wanted him to go all the way with you.

Jesus Christ, he would lose it.

“Eddie?” You whisper, pulling away from his lips as you slowly opened your eyes to look at him “I…can I come closer? I want to be closer…”

Eddie follows your gaze as you stare down at his lap.

“Is that okay?” You ask, your cheeks heating up at the request.

“You….you wanna sit in my lap?” Eddie stammers. He could immediately feel himself getting hard beneath his jeans. If you got on top of him, it would be game over. He didn’t know if he could control himself.

“Is that okay?” You ask “I…I want to be closer….to you.”

Eddie felt like he was swallowing a boulder as he looked into your eyes. Beautiful and needy. Who was he to not give you what you wanted? But he also didn’t want to scare you off by potentially causing you to feel something you didn’t want to.

“I…I don’t know if that’s…I’m kinda…” Eddie tried to convey what the issue was without having to outright say it. How the fuck do you even tell your best friend that you didn’t want her to sit on your lap because you were sporting a hard-on?

“Did I do something wrong? Did I-“

“No, sweetheart.” Eddie replies softly, shaking his head “No, you’re definitely not doing anything wrong. It’s actually kinda the opposite. I….If you just give me a second, I can-“

But before he could excuse himself from your room to sneak into your bathroom to adjust himself, you were already climbing into his lap- straddling him as both of your legs framed either side of his body. Eddie tried so hard to stifle a groan, his hands immediately flying to your waist. As soon as he realized what he was gripping onto, he began to panic.

“Shit,” He winces, quickly jerking his hands away. You catch them, grasping his wrists to stop them.

“It’s okay.” You assure him “I like your hands there. It makes me feel…safe.”

Oh god…

You wrap your arms around his neck, reaching up to play with his hair. Eddie’s eyes close at the feeling of your fingers in his curls. This was heaven. He was sure of it.

“Is this okay? That I do this?” You ask.

“Yes.” Eddie croaks out “Don’t stop doing that. Please. I…”

“What?” You ask.

“I like this. Being close to you like this.” He admits, his voice soft and dreamlike “Can I kiss you again?”

Instead of speaking, you lean in- capturing his lips with yours as his grip tightens against your waist and it felt so right.

You let yourself get lost in him. In your best friend. Your Eddie. The boy you could never let go.

Always slipping from my hands,

Sand's a time of its own.

Take your seaside arms and write the next line,

Oh, I want the truth to be known.

Eddie Munson with his loud mouth and his stupid jokes and his long curls and his deep voice. Eddie who was stubborn yet sweet. Over-protective but full of love.

Eddie.

You use your tongue to swipe at his bottom lip, asking for permission to deepen the kiss into a new territory of intimacy that you haven’t yet explored. But you wanted to. With him.

Eddie parts his lips a little, somehow instinctively knowing what to do- opening his mouth to taste you. Already intoxicated.

He sighs against your lips as you slip your tongue into his mouth. You had always worried that french kissing would be gross and slimy and awkward but it came so natural for you to want to do it with Eddie. He welcomed you into him with no restrictions. Completely open for you. Every single part of him.

His tongue tangles against yours, feeling you press yourself closer to him as if you could never be close enough. He grasps your hips tighter as he works his mouth against yourself, breathing heavy as he nips at your bottom lip- earning another moan. He was suddenly aware that kissing you was his new favorite thing. Nothing could top this feeling.

Your nose bumps against his as you kiss him harder, deeper, more hurried. Like you couldn’t get enough. You tilt your head in every possible angle to earn yourself more of him, wanting to taste his lips in every which way that you could. Spandau Ballet serenading you in the background.

I know this much is true….

Eddie was pretty fucking certain that he was falling in love with kissing you. He wanted more.

He wanted to claim every part of your mouth- your lips. He wanted to claim you. Make you his.

He wanted to live in this moment of kissing you. He wanted to stay just like this forever. He wanted you to be the first, last, and only girl he’d ever kiss. No one else. Because he was certain that no one else could make him feel this way.

He didn’t want anyone else to make him feel this way. He was sure of it. So sure. So fucking sure that he needed to tell you. He needed-

Click.

The cassette tape stopped. The track coming to an end as it was the last song on the tape. It suddenly felt like a spell had been broken.

No, no, no.

But you were already pulling away, retreating out of the kiss-induced trance that you had been under.

Eddie suddenly fucking hated that goddamn tape.