The Moon Is On My Side

Heartwarming! Man pissing on subway stairs genders you correctly, mortified he was doing that in front of a woman

He was doing it while on the phone and said “so long as there ain’t a woman around it’s fine” then turned around, saw me, and went “oh shit!” And started apologizing

“I don’t like this song because I can’t relate to it” skill issue. I’m mad at my husband I love my girlfriend I’m a lone cowboy I’m growing old I’m growing up I’m depressed I love my friends I’m perpetually horny I’m drunk at the club I love my husband again

The exception is cheesy local commercials. Those should be the only ads. I will listen to someone who runs a store in my city doing an awkward rap. We once had a furniture store with these awful CGI ads and the slogan "where the deals are so low, it's almost criminal!" and then they got shut down, by the cops, because it turned out. It turned out the deals were so low because. You're not going to believe this but the prices were so low it was in fact

I feel so insane about ai. I've had face-to-face conversations with people who use it for therapy, who use it to calculate the safety of pill interactions, who use it for all their emails and grant applications and legal documents and academic papers and finance sheets and for every single question they have about the world, and if you tell them about the ecological costs they just laugh and say "I guess I've used a lot of water." and I've been in multiple gatherings of 10+ people where I'm THE ONLY PERSON who doesn't use chatgpt. it's turning me into a ranting raving pariah, because how don't you people see??? why don't you understand??????? this bullshit didn't exist five years ago, you absolutely do not need it, and it is destroying everything

Organised crime? Nah girl I'm into disorganised crime. If a goon doesn't have ADHD they aren't getting hired

Cops can't stop us if they don't know what we're doing, and they can't find out if we have no idea either

Minions stop this post from reaching 1k

On it, boss! Gettin' this post to 10k, just like you said!

My dyslexic self misread that and thought you were firing everyone with ADHD. I guess I would be the goon who misses out on the perfect employment opportunity in this scenario.

Which is a damn shame because that's gotta be the most on-brand personal statement I've ever seen in this line of work

For a city to be walkable. It must also be sittable.

where's that native meme that's like "lol you worship the sun lmao" and they respond "ok. the sun is real"

an astronaut foretold to go to the moon by a fortune cookie can be a kind of magical girl, I think

The chemical they put on ants and all the other ants think they're dead that's what happened to tumblr except the chemical is unmarketability

stop deactivating

i thought we all agreed we were here forever