Thank you posting this personal message. I really admire when people open up like this and show their true colors, it’s very hard to do sometimes.
I would like to offer some unsolicited advice as i really love your blog and find your work a vital part of Geishablr and ultimately promotes the Karyukai and the little kagai of Kamishichiken in a very special way.
Umechie was a one of a kind Maiko and i would argue that she symbolized many firsts for enthusiasts, and we got to follow along on her path through this demanding patch of her life. Sadly she left and her departure left many of us empty and at a loss. We all speculated many months about her curious case and when she was gone, life went on in Kamishichiken as if she had never played the important role to them as it did to us.
I understand that Umechie’s leaving left us without closure and i’m not saying that we deserve it but i do understand the void she left.
The advice i can give as someone who has had to digest leavings of favorites like Fukue, Katsuna and my first heart break Kyouka, is to think about the aspects of the Karyukai that are independent of personalities and personal destinies.
Your Kimono and Obi database is unlike anything on the internet, very specialized and a treasure for researchers. Please continue this and maybe expand as Umeno has this tradition of recycling Kanzashi.
Don’t negate your personal feelings about Geimaiko culture. You are a veteran of the topic and contribute so much to the spreading of information, it would be a shame if this well would run dry.
In the end, it is up to you. We all understand when motivation and inspiration leaves us and all i can offer you is a shoulder to lean on and an open heart to hear you out if you want to divulge.
Stay safe and healthy! Keep going!