procrastination station

Context: Joker Junior incident happens, Bruce locks Tim in Arkham for two years, Jason comes back and adopts this sad wet cat clown child, basically... Also, Steph is Spoiler and hates Batman, as she should.

—

Random goon: Is... Is it safe for, uh, him to have a gun..?

Tim, spinning in a swivel chair while holding two guns: Weeeeeee!!!

Jason: Sure. Why?

Goon: . . . No reason.

—

Jason: Why would I work with you?

Bruce: Because this case involves both of us.

Jason: Hmm, I'll need to discuss with my associates.

Bruce: Your wha—

Jason: Spoiler, Little Red, opinions?

Stephanie, on comms: Uh, Tim needs a better code name, and also kick Batman in the dick.

Jason: On it.

Jason, kicking Dick in the shin:

Dick: OW!?

Jason: Now what?

—

Tim: If I'm insane then why can I do this?!

Tim, proceeds to do a flip:

—

Stephanie: Hey, hey, let's both out on Spoiler costumes and see if Jason can tell us apart.

Tim: You have boobs! It'll be obvious!

Stephanie: Bet.

thirty minutes later...

Jason: . . .

Stephanie: C'mon, be so for real.

Tim: I'm actually concerned.

Jason: WELL ONE OF YOU STUFFED A BRA!

Tim: TO EQUAL THE PLAYING FIELDS!

Stephanie: I literally am taller.

Jason: How do I know one of ya ain't wearin' heels!? Y'know what? F#-$ this, I'm callin' Selina...

—

Black Mask: Okay, who are you?

Jason: The Red Hood.

Black Mask: Okay, you're the one I want dead. Good. But who is she?

Stephanie: Batman.

Black Mask: No, you're not.

Stephanie: Am too!

Jason: She basically is.

Black Mask: No—

Stephanie: Sounds sexist. You sexist?

Black Mask: I—

Jason: Ooo, he is! Can't believe this. To her face?

Stephanie: To my face?!

Black Mask: I am gonna shoot you both!

Stephanie: Do it. P#-$#. No balls.

Black Mask: Are you actually antagonizing me right now? I am the Black Mask!

Jason: I'm the Red Hood. Red is cooler.

Black Mask: No, it's not!

Jason: Are you arguing with me about colours? Wow, so childish.

Stephanie: So childish.

Black Mask: . . . Okay, I'm gonna kill you both now.

Dick, knocking him out from behind: That was your guys' idea of a distraction!?

Bruce: That was reckless.

Stephanie: Well you wouldn't let us bring Tim!

Tim, cackling from the shadows: I'm here anyways!

Jason: TIMOTHY, I TOLD YOU TO STAY YOUR A&# HOME!

Tim: I WAS UNDERSTIMULATED! D:<

—

Talia, over the phone: So how is your revenge plans working out for you, Jason?

Jason, looking over at Tim and Stephanie who are painting each other's nails while My Little Pony plays in the background: Uhh...

—

Tim: Can I have coffee?

Jason: . . . Sure.

Tim: Yay!

Tim, takes a sip and promptly starts choking: WHAT IS THAT!?

Jason: Coffee?

Tim: I hate it.

Jason: Thought ya would.

Tim: I'd rather do weed with Crane again than that!

Jason: What?

Tim: What?

—

Bruce, at a gala, staring in horror as Jason and Tim show up in disguise: Dick... Dick!?

Dick: Oh, my gods...

Tim, proceeding to sneak over to Lex Luther and Kon:

Jason: Tim, no.

Tim: >:)

Jason: This is an undercover mission. Stay away from the kryptonian!

Tim: CONNOR! :D

Kon: TIM! :D

Jason, face palming as they begin to greet one another like overactive puppies:

—

Stephanie: Woah, you're gonna teach me to fight in heels!?

Selina: It's a skill all girls should know.

Tim, in the background, trying to balance in heels:

Selina: And Tim.

—

Harvey, in Arkham, gesturing wildly to a traumatized Tim: Why the f#-&$ is a toddler here?!

Ivy: I think it's Joker's.

Crane: Mm, no, Joker looked more German. This kid looks French.

Clayface: Can confirm, there's a difference.

Harvey, gesturing wildly to Tim: HE'S LIKE EIGHT!? HE IS SMALL!? D:

Crane: Batman will pick a fight with anything, damn.

Ivy: All in agreement to rub this in Batman's face anytime we see him?

Everyone: Yup.

Tim, crying on the floor: Batmaaaan...

—

Bernard, on TikTok live: And this is Crime Alley! Notoriously ran by the Red Hood, Spoiler, and Catwoman! Though there's rumors that the escaped inmate known as Joker Juni—

Tim: Hi.

Bernard:

Bernard, brain failing: Hi?

Tim: Whatchu doin'?

Bernard: Uh... I'm... Who are you???

Tim: An escaped inmate from Arkham.

Tim: Wanna see my favorite places? :D

Bernard, playfully: Is it a date?

Tim, taking his free hand: Sure!

Bernard, brain failing:

—

Stephanie: Did he kidnap you?

Bernard: Huh? No! I... Well... No?

Tim: My collection of blondes continues... I wonder if I can convince Kon to dye his hair?

—

Kon: You're really pretty.

Tim, drawing on Kon's face: I know :D

—

Tim, in a sing song voice: Guess who hacked the pentagon!

Joker Jr. who went crazy and resurrected his boyfriend as a zombie instead of a clone? Yes.

Jason: wtf

Tim: Dick? Why are u on anti-psychotics

Jason: excuse me, why are you on them, Replacement?!

Jason: and does anyone care why I take them?

Dick: no we know why Jason. Anyway I need to get going

Tim: no why the fuck are you on anti-psychotics!?!?

Jason: BOTH OF YOU WTF

Tim: I got tortured and went a bit mad, happy?

Jason: NO!?!??

Dick: and I see dead people when I'm stressed, can I leave now!?

Actively seek out things that inspire wonder

Look for the good parts. There are good parts. There are interesting parts. There will always be good and interesting parts.

Treat yourself kindly. This one is difficult.

Do things out of ridiculous whimsy.

Practice cog itive behavioural exercises to self-examine and address beliefs and behaviors that are causing suffering.

Don't argue when people compliment you.

Don't rush yourself, and don't assume it'll be like this forever when you have a backslide. These things happen. Over time, they happen less.

Be honest with the people you love and trust.

Tell people how much they mean to you and what you like about them.

Help others and find satisfaction in being the stranger that did something good

Consider speaking to a medical professional, my antidepressants and anti-anxiety medical took some time to figure out but life is WAY better.

Have a silly little craft or hobby.

Let yourself be bored sometimes. Stand outside in the rain and let yourself get wet. Go on a walk. Put your phone in a different room and wander off. Meet up with a friend and go on a long walk together to nowhere in particular

Start doing things because you want to and it feels good, not just because you think it's something you should say yes to.

Say yes to things.

Take a random day of the week and go into a store or a business you've never been in before.

Compliment strangers when something about them is striking.

Read books and watch movies that make you feel the exact right amount of ecstatic and embarrassed, and make all the silly noises about it.

Collect scraps of fabric and little trinkets and all the little textures and colours you love and stash them in a shoebox or something like a tiny dragon's hoard.

Start a collection of something small and inexpensive. Like corks.

Make food with ingredients you've never used before

Make long lists of all your favorite things- flowers, bugs, songs, foods, places

Start a trash-book to fill with scraps of neat wrappers and bits of paper and colored fabric from old ruined clothes

Imagine yourself as a alien from a dead and barren world who has just arrived on this planet for the very first time and imagine how excited you would be by every little thing

Tim sitting with one leg up at the bat computer during a meeting “shit, Steph can you pick up some of my foundation I’m almost out”

Jason turned with a frown “Why do you wear make up?”

“eh To many triggering scars on my face” Tim points to his face in a exaggerated motion. “I would show you but I don’t want you going all rage zombie on me”

A strangle noise of confusion or sympathy escaped dick “Why would Jason be triggered?” He said while approaching Tim

Tim roatated in his chair waving his hand around in a circular motion “Well most people find a permanent smile horrific dick”

I love the friends