u should’ve made them gay

j.k.r. needs like one close friend to sit her down and go: “okay, but, go over this with me again. you decided the evil snake your dark wizard kept as a pet and vessel of his fragmented horrific soul - the one that has to be murdered in order to defeat the evil wizard - is in fact….an asian woman who was cursed to eventually become a beast and monster in her own body. am i getting this right? the asian woman turns into a snake because her bloodline is cursed and then she becomes the pet of a white supremacist with magic. you invented a body curse specifically for turning women into monsters and your first thought was not like, subversion of fairy tale misogyny but….to add a layer of racism? just trying to understand here.” 

Whenever Hagrid finally decides to retire as Care of Magical Creatures professor you can bet your last knut that Charlie Weasley flies back to England the following week excitedly waving his resume and recommendation letters from no less than two Scamanders and the Minister of Magic, Hermione Granger.

I’m pretty sure he would also have recommendation letters from Rubeus Hagrid, the retiring professor, Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived and a very confusing one from Puddlemere United player, Oliver Wood, saying that he was one of the best Seekers he had ever seen.

i will never be over vernon dursley telling people at his wedding that james potter was some kind of amateur magician, implying that he wasn’t even that good

every patronus hermione granger has ever produced was done with the memory of how it felt to deck malfoy right in his smug bastard face

I vividly remember the scene in like the second movie where the Weasleys were looking at their school supply list and Molly was like “I really don’t know how we’re going to afford it this year” after they had just risked life and limb to rescue Harry and Harry was sitting there eating their food like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Harry ‘Dickhead’ Potter through a mouth full of Wizardburger Helper “idk…….that’s……wow that sucks i guess lol so i’m thinking about buying this solid gold cauldron what do yall think? a little over the top?”

“oh that’s wild lmao… hey check this out I’m gonna buy all the candy off the cart on the train”

“dude you guys haven’t been able to buy new robes in like 10 years….wow that sucks i guess kek but hey lets go get some butterbeer my treat but fuck you :)”

people talk about JK Rowling retroactively adding diversity representation to Harry Potter but tbh i always thought the funniest retroactive addition to the stories was turning Protagonist House, Antagonist House, Supporting Character House 1 and Supporting Character House 2 into like psychological categories