Running down a dream

I pray every day to go to sleep and not wake up the next day. But I do. And it’s torture because I can’t find a way to end it all without risking that it doesn’t work or I end up a vegetable.

Either way this existence is shit. And I’m tired of hearing how it’s going to get better because it’s not. It just gets worse. Every. Damn. Day. It gets worse and worse. And for what?! Nothing.

Finally finished my Supernatural bag! I’ve been busy working on making different style bags and purses and had to make this one for myself as a prototype.

Will be making them for sale in the future

Bag is heavy canvas with cotton lining and vinyl trims. Embroidery also done by me. The pictures are looking kinda wonky on my phone. Hope they come across well

AFTER ALL THE SHIT THEY WENT THROUGH.   SERIOUSLY?!!

Clingman’s Dome - Eastern TN / Western NC Border (10.22.2018)

Highest Point in the Smoky Mountains and Tennessee (Elevation 6,643 ft)

I love the house and the area.  Love my job and have settled in to my new shift well.  There are stresses, as with any job, like our new line automation but overall I enjoy it.  I look forward to going into work and having a good time with my coworkers.

But I am finding I am tired all the time, don't want to do anything but sleep when I'm not working and have a lack of motivation.  I have been making myself do stuff around the house, getting things organized, etc.  but it's a struggle. 

I feel down and just generally blah.  I can't explain it and I wish I could.  I haven't had much time to be online so I have lost touch with a lot of what's going on here and in fandom.  Maybe that's part of it?  I'm missing that?  Who knows.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in and say I haven't disappeared for good.  I am still around.  I am working to get my routine back in order and hope that once the fall season comes around I will have more time online.

Also, I have 5 registration keys for the new site Pillowfort.  If anyone is interested in having one, drop me a message and I can hook you up.  If you have't heard about the site, go check it out!  http://pillowfort-io.tumblr.com/post/177167113036/pillowfort-a-potted-history-of-fandom-and-the

It's got some great potential!

I’m about to go “home” for the last time.  I will be returning to Mississippi to finish packing the house and we close on Thursday.  I am both excited and nervous (nervous that we are still packing at this point and not everything is out of the house yet!)

It’s a flurry of emotions.  Excitement and anxiety and a good helping of stress.  But I am still finding that I don’t regret the decision to move.  I will be glad to be out of that state. 

I am stressing with my job at the moment, but I found out some news last night that actually helps alleviate some of that.  So that helps a bit.

Not just a house but a brand NEW house! The deal I mentioned before didn’t pan out. And then this baby fell into our laps!