Actual Trash Can

Shocking: Local Woman Fails To See Weird PM From Random Strange Man On The Internet As Fulfillment Of Desire For A Loving, Healthy Relationship

Even worse, a stranger from reddit specifically

………I am going to commit a murder

bro i was homoerotically cleaning and patching up my friend’s wounds and you ruined it. i was scolding him for being an idiot in an exasperated but fond tone of voice while i tenderly bandaged his knuckles and we both tried unsuccessfully to avoid looking into each other’s eyes until the tension between us became unbearable when you entered the room without knocking and fucking killed the mood. what the hell, man.

one time at a wax museum i thought one of the tour guides was a wax person cuz they were just standing there not moving so i go up to them like “who the fuck is this supposed to be” then they just looked at me and laughed

Hozier and Florence Welch are just pseudonyms Hades and Persephone have taken on after haven taken music lessons from Orpheus for a couple thousand years and deciding going into the music industry and gaining “fans” would be a modern equivalent form of the worship that previously sustained them thanks for coming to my ted talk

#yeah except florence is hades and hozier is persephone

you’ve heard of elf on the shelf, now get ready for

Where’s that post about having mundane superpowers

I was not ready

something has been BOTHERING MEEEE…………ok so in the 80s, you have Heathers. the 90s had Clueless. the 2000s had Mean Girls. what is the definitive teen girl drama comedy of the 10s? 

Apparently the current proposed name of the hypothetical ninth planet is Persephone which is such a good name I’m mad I didn’t think of it.

I’m into this

I can’t believe none of the reasons were “It’s what Pluto would want.”

#if he can’t be a planet at least his wife can

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

could they have made the figure of this man any darker and more ominous

The meat is far in the back, look deeper, Fortunato.

damn then why was the monster so sad all the time

I don’t know which is funnier, the images or that comment