yes.

when an animal doesn’t like me it really impacts my self esteem 

I WILL be posting ankle pics on dec 18th and it WILL be erotic

it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”

……. I beg your pardon

Beg

I’m glad cats meow that’s the perfect noise for their shape & size

you ever see/hear a dude you liked/admired say or do somethin gross and suddenly the veneer washes away and you finally see him as he is and ur like “wow he really was a man the whole time”

not even Burt and all of his Bees could save me this time

ok firstly I’m traumatized, not crazy, so jot that down

me after someone hears me talking to myself 

those thumb people in spy kids aren’t real right?

sir that’s my emotional support gardener