Melina: Crisis averted! Not a single casualty!
Verandis: Impressive work. How did you prevent them from killing anyone?
Melina: Oh, that was all Cassian.
Fennorian: He's surprisingly effective in a hostage negotiation.
[a couple hours prior...]
Vampire: IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP, I'M DRAINING EVERYONE IN THIS BUILDING!!
Cassian, hanging around on the porch: Damn, a buncha human civs? I'm fuckin' terrified.
Vampire: I MEAN IT, SMARTASS!!
Cassian, smug as Oblivion: Yeah, I'll bet. Not like you could beat anything tougher, ya twee bitch. You tryna feel all rough and tough and scary? Look at you, pickin' on the little twerps like some big, strong man!
Cassian: I'd say you look like you break your pasta, but I bet you gotta stand on a ladder to spook an eight-year-old into doin' it for ya-!
Vampire: [bashes through the door in a full-body tackle, claws tearing into Cassian in a blind rage]
Vampire, pausing mid-slash: [looks up at the bleeding stump of an elbow where the rest of his limb used to be]
Cassian, halfway into werewolf form: [grins up at the vampire with a severed forearm mangled between his jaws]
Vampire: [looks back at the building]
Fennorian: [sprinting through the door to tend to the hostages]
Melina: [gleefully winding up a throw]
Vampire, watching the explosive rune fly straight at him: Shit.
Cassian, brushing ashes from his rapidly healing burn wounds: Make yourself the most killable thing. Works every time.
Fennorian, scrambling for detergent: Wait, no! The carpet-!
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