trying on a metaphor
Cosmic Funnies
Cosimo Galluzzi
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
One Nice Bug Per Day
cherry valley forever
★
tumblr dot com
PR's Tumblrdome
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
d e v o n
Jules of Nature
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Monterey Bay Aquarium
art blog(derogatory)
DEAR READER
styofa doing anything
seen from Philippines
seen from United States
seen from Croatia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Mexico
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Canada
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
@galacticdoodles
hi hello it is me I am not dead I SWEAR but my tablet was and art block hit before that BUT we have a new tablet so obviously I had to draw Sve that and her actor, Anya I love thinking about these polar opposites interacting it's so fun Sve's actor I feel like would look mean and have more of a punk style but she's super sweet then you have stink ass Sve being a grouch Love them @threeoffucks I swear I will be making a comeback with this art TRUST
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I don't think we realize how scary Doomed!Svetla is
now hear me out here with what information we've been given on her, plus what she's clearly shown from what chapters she was present in or talked about
Doomed!Svetla is genuinely terrifying and it ain't a wonder how she became the ringleader between her and her siblings
Like I think of Odysseus in Epic (like the song in the last album) man is moving like a phantom and taking down people one by one his absence is what scares them the most and it's a whole ARMY of suitors
like let's just go through what we know Doomed!Svetla can do
grow assumedly any and all kinds of plant life and use them to her advantage
"bug" people and essentially use them as security cameras (like legit seeing through their eyes without possession) ((not just that, she can bug ANYTHING, LOOK AT THE DRAGONFLY THAT WAS HER WATCHING JAYCE)
SHE CAN POSSESS OTHER HEXSPAWN (AND SHE'S DONE IT BEFORE???)
she can essentially control people's nervous systems after being bugged, making strong suggestions so their body has the reaction she wants them to have (as seen with Jayce when first meeting Hermit, that whole "fight fight fight" WAS HER. SHE WAS DOING THAT)
SHE HAS A HERALD FORM. SHE'S A GIANT ASS BIRD AND SHE CAN MANAGE TO HOLD OFF GOD KNOWS WHAT (like look at "Dream About Me", NOBODY was getting past her when she was bird mode (we can make jokes about it but if I saw a giant barn owl KNOWING they fly silently I'd shit my pants and die)
not just that but she's SMART. she's got MAD knowledge on the entirety of Runeterra and who knows what she picked up during her time at the Duumvirate
plus she's a sentry, you wanna tell me she didn't pick up SOMETHING about combat and strategizing??
and think about how good!Svetla was moving in chapter 15 as A NEWBORN. SHE BUILT A WHOLE ARMY FROM MEMORIES TO FIGHT THE HERALD THOSE TWO ARE FORCES NOT TO FUCK WITH
so you have all of these skills doomed!Svetla has then you stack on the rage she feels towards the Duumvirate how OLD she is how much knowledge she has on these people and the Duumvirate itself dude there's no wonder how she's been able to wage this war almost by herself, and why she probably has the highest bounty ever seen by the Duumvirate she's a weapon and absolutely earned her name "Green Mage" Then you add in the fact that she's by far the smallest in her family system she's fast she's small dude she'd be moving like a phantom plus on TOP of all that you got Rango man is going around collecting secrets and gossip and bringing them right back to D!Svetla Whatever she doesn't have physically (like she's a severely underweight lil guy standing at 5'2) she makes up for everywhere else she's got that Herald form (and god help you if you come across her herald form, even just in half herald form she's a threat she's smart, crafty as FUCK, ANGRY (and in my bones I know she's justified to some degree) AND THE FACT NOBODY KNOWS WHAT SHE'S REALLY THINKING HER MIND IS LOCKED DOWN TIGHT ENOUGH FOR ALMOST NO ONE TO PASS THROUGH THE DOOR SHE'S FULL OF SECRETS IN THAT TINY ASS BODY I'm so deadass when I say if there's propaganda thrown around at the Duumvirate about her it's SCARY BECAUSE TO THEM YEAH SHE'S GENUINELY TERRIFYING AND A REAL ASS THREAT TO ALL THE BITCHES IN POWER THERE
That 20% Hexcore biomatter is working OVERTIME to make sure she STAYS leading a one man war against the Duumvirate
@threeoffucks yes I will make jokes on her being feral and short BUT I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW FUCKING SCARY SHE IS SHE'S LIKE JACK THE RIPPER LEVEL SPOOKY WITH WHAT SHE DOES BUT SHE BACKS UP HER SHIT TENFOLD
Hello I have returned once more with sketchbook doodles
Starting off strong we have Doomed!Svetla as Clementine trauma dumping casually with the other variants of herself (they are not handling this info well)
Of course we had to get the twins in there for fun
In fact here's more of them!
I love them dearly
Basically the Jesus "I saw that"
An owl and finally a little sad Doomed!Svetla (come on she's the Doomed timeline for a reason, she ain't getting out of that)
@threeoffucks if it wasn't known already I love drawing Doomed!Svetla
I lied I have more
we're learning how to draw cats through trial and error guys @threeoffucks yes I'm still doing this I've become too invested and found all the warriors books on youtube so yes I will be listening to these I think it's the funniest thing to think about Loststar wanting to be a medicine cat like her dad Got swooped up by some fuckass bird wandered around for probably YEARS in the forest and in the process just collecting random strays and accidentally forming a clan Then people start looking to her like "hey leader what's up" "What" "Well you're the leader so we're calling you leader" ".... I know about herbs and I can fight but HOW CAN I BE A LEADER I'M JUST TRYING TO GO HOME"
that is it I have become fascinated with warrior cats And I have now meshed together that with Zagreus We got Doomed!Svetla named Loststar and Hermit as Tigereye
Idea here (credit for this by @threeoffucks AND I believe the name of that cat was snowkit that was taken by a big ass bird) owl comes in attacks First gets Tigereye in the face Takes then Starkit Drops her off in the middle of nowhere so she spends like All her time growing up in the forest Comes back to her clan with her own weird clan They all knew her as starkit so she's coming back wearing the name of Loststar that she gave herself she's rolling up like "what up y'all my name is Loststar and this is my clan of weird cats I found in the woods while I was trying to find my way home. Anyways y'all what did I miss" And everyone is just baffled seeing she's alive (but come on we know who could have been out there looking for her and probably even crossing borders trying to find her) I cannot draw cats lord help me
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Yeah we got to this point now
@threeoffucks I couldn't resist anymore
I had to do it
I dunno what her adult cat name would be so she's fuckass for right now
Girlie fucked up but we love her hobo look
Here's a better picture with words in it
Name ideas and what happened to get her so fucked up
She wants all the smoke from everybody but she's a literal runt compared to everybody else
This is so random but I saw this video of a kid trying to do a cartwheel
Maya and Doomed!Svetla smoking
Svetla: Maya.. Honey do you remember when you were a kid and I said you did the best cartwheels
Maya: of course, because I was awesome
Svetla: no.. Maya. You were the worst at cartwheels
Maya: fuck. You.
Svetla: I mean it! You just like- you just went to the side, you didn't even do a real cartwheel-
Maya: YOU SAID I WAS THE BEST
Svetla: Maya.. Last time I laughed you bawled your eyes out for an hour. You were terrible
@threeoffucks headcanon now Maya sucks at cartwheels but thinks she's great at it
Hi
Hello again
I am not dead
I have Paphos
She makes me ill
I love her so dearly
@threeoffucks enjoy these sketches because I love her
So so much it is unreal but for the love of God spray her with a hose
OKAY I AM BACK WITH ART AGAIN THANK FUCK @threeoffucks you ever think people would do a side by side comparison of Paphos and her photos before she got booted out vs after and they're like "DAMN YOU AGE LIKE MILK" "Thanks that's because I'm meant to be a bird"
HELLO ALL I HAVE RETURNED
Not with like official art BUT I did want to share this
@threeoffucks I WANTED TO TRY AND INCORPORATE THAT MESSAGE FROM THE DOG BECAUSE I SAW ITTTTTTT
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
chat walk with me here
@threeoffucks okay first off IM SORRYYYYYYY FOR ALL THE TAGS ON THESE FUCKASS POSTS I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL MAN!!!!! SENDING ALL THE LOVE TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUU
alright here's the idea here Paphos (Doomed!Svetla) going to therapy There's one particular session where she's just more closed off, and eventually opening up and talking about Fortune and feeling like she doesn't deserve the kindness, how he doesn't scowl, he doesn't look at her like she's a domestic terrorist, like she's not any of the horrible things she's done and she feels like she just doesn't deserve that kindness from her dad Like she wants that kindness but feels undeserving of it after everything they've done to each other
Then here comes a wall of dialogue I'm about to spit
"You know, I'm having a similar situation with another one of my patients and his daughter." ".. What?" "Now normally I wouldn't talk about something like this with another patient, doctor patient confidentiality and all that.. But would it be alright if I asked for your input on it?" "I suppose.." "Right.. This patient, we'll call him.. Flower. Flower has been a patient of mine since he first arrived, dating back centuries by this point. When he woke up he was immediately placed into our psych hold, too unstable to be in the general population at that point. Bouts of psychosis, sometimes being found in this catatonic state.. Sometimes he would even get aggressive with staff. Looking at him now, you would never guess he would even think of throwing a punch at a nurse trying to give him his lunch, or telling them to uh.. 'stick it where the sun don't shine', to put it kindly." "Wow, he must have been a difficult case then" "It was one of the worst we had seen honestly, so when I was assigned to be his therapist I didn't expect much talking to be done in our first few sessions. Do you know how many it took before he spoke a word to me?" ".. How many?" "I believe about 5, so for the first 5 sessions he wouldn't say a word, he would just fiddle with his hands and stare into a wall. By the sixth session, he finally made a confession to me." "What was it?" "Well, it was more his way of lashing out. He said it was pointless to continue to come to these sessions that he was forced to go to, and said he would rather just be dead." "Why would he say that??" "That's what I asked, and he said that he had no reason of being here." "Like.. In therapy?" "Living, I believe. So again, I asked him why. That's when he first mentioned his daughter" ".. He had a daughter?" "He told me there was no point of being here, if his daughter wasn't here. He went on about how it was all his fault she was gone, and he couldn't live with that kind of guilt, and not being able to do something as simple as the final request she made to him." "So.. What did you do?" "I asked him what his daughter's name was." "Wh- wait why the hell would you do that? Wouldn't it be easier to just ask why he felt guilty, or what that request was??" "No, I know those types of questions would have made the situation worse. Asking her name seemed to make him pause, and he calmed down so he could tell me. After that, I asked what she looked like" "Why?? This feels stupid." "It certainly didn't feel stupid when he talked about her. For the first time, he was talking during a session. This time he didn't seem angry, or closed off. He seemed relieved that someone asked about her. Now, I didn't know this until I had seen his file, but it was written that he had lost his daughter when he came here. After the news was broken to him about it, he seemed to shut down. It was either nothing, or anger that everyone faced with him. Talking about her though seemed to help a great deal. The more questions I asked, the more he talked until our session was over. Do you know what he said to me before he had to leave?" "What did he say??" "He said thank you. The next session, he talked about how much she reminded him of his mother. I think it was being able to talk about his daughter that really helped him open up more about his own family, his trauma, what happened in his timeline.. He was making good progress with opening up." "It.. Sounds like Flower really cared about his daughter then."
HANG ON I GOTTA MAKE THIS INTO ANOTHER PART I THINK IT'S LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG
"There hasn't been a single session since that sixth one that he hasn't brought her up. In one way or another, he'll find a way to bring her up, even after all this time. Sometimes it's related to guilt, grief, but sometimes he'll simply just make a comment of something he saw and thinking about how she would have liked to see it too. Even with everything else that we would talk about concerning himself, at one point or another the session would focus on her." "What.. Happened, to his daughter? Did you ever find out?" "Well, originally we hadn't thought he even had one, and if he did then certain she had passed. If that were the case, then I was prepared to closely examine his grief." "So- wait did she die??" "It seemed like she was just.. Left behind. We had thoroughly believed she was dead until we found her, a grave mistake on our own part." ".. What happened when she was found?" "We brought her here, and rightfully the poor girl was terrified. I can't think of another time he looked more alive than when he saw her again. Even with all the medications, all the sessions he and I had, Flower looked more whole when he had her again." ".. Did he still come to sessions?" "Of course, finally around this time we were able to focus on more cheery subjects, even if many times the sessions would be concerning his daughter. We'll call her.. Hope." ".. Did you ever meet Hope?" "No. It's odd, I knew just about everything that Flower knew about his daughter, but I never met her. He aways talked about how tall she was getting, loose teeth, normal parent stuff." "Did he.. Did he ever talk about how she had changed?" "No, that didn't seem to come up during that time. He just seemed more relaxed, you could tell just by looking at him. It's like a switch flipped, and survival mode turned off for him. He talked about hallucinations being far less frequent, less anxiety when she was near. For a while things seemed to be really taking a turn for the better." ".. So something happened to change that, then." ".. He lost her again. She was sent away, despite his pleas, despite everything.. And for a bit, it felt like we were all the way back to square one. It went back to the basic questions of 'did you eat today', 'have you taken your medications', protocol questions is how I think of them." "..." "He told me of an old tradition he used to do, before she was sent away. He took her to this beach they would always go to, write wishes in bottles and throw them into the sea. So I asked him since he didn't want to talk, if he wanted to write letters and to put them in bottles. That's what we did for a bit, I would bring a bottle, he would write a letter and he would put it in the bottle." "Would you ever throw them into the ocean?" "The first few, we did. We went down to the beach, and threw them into the ocean, praying that Janna would find them and guide them to where they needed to go. Many of them at the start had been for Hope, and he always seemed to hesitate before throwing them. Like he wanted to keep them around, just in case she came back so she could read them. I then suggested if he wanted to keep them, we would find someplace safe for them to go to." "Did the bottles ever help him?" "After a while, they did. They became part of our routine, I would bring a bottle, and he would write. Then they started to be addressed towards his parents, his twin, other people he would want reading those letters. But most of them would be for Hope."
"... So, wait- where is this all going?? What advice could I give for this whole mess with Flower?" "Well.. Hope came back." ".. How.. Is he taking it?" "As well as one would think. He's more relaxed, but not like before. He still talks about her every session." ".. She's different now, isn't she? He must have brought up some kind of change with her." "It's been mentioned before, yes. Cutting her hair, she looks tired.. He has a lot of worries this time around." ".. Why?" "He's worried she's not eating enough, or sleeping enough. There's a lot of tension between the two, and he's convinced that she hates him now. She refuses to get near him, has a difficult time looking at him, and lashes out if he tries to speak to her or get close." ".. I don't think Hope would actually hate him" "Why do you say that?" "I think.. Maybe they've had many, many issues in the past.. I think they've hurt one another, and obviously she's angry and has a right to be but.. She wouldn't hate him. If anything, he has every right to just.. Not want her anymore" "Really? That isn't what I've heard from him." ".. What has he said?" ".. One of his biggest fears is that he's ruined their relationship, that he's broken it beyond repair, and he couldn't fix it this time. But every day, he still tries. He gives her space, if it feels like a good day, he gets the chance to look at her, and see how big she's gotten." ".. But she's different now. He must see that. He must see.. How rotten she's become." "If he notices, he's never brought it up. Haha, he talks about her like she practically hung all the stars in the sky, and she ended up being the brightest one." "Why?? She can't still be the same as when she was small." "True, but a parent will always see their baby, no matter how big they get. So, what do you think he should do, if Hope doesn't hate him then?" ".. I think.. I think Flower should be patient.. I think space is important, but.. I also think Hope needs to work through her anger, and her own issues.. And when she's ready.. I think she should try being around her Otec again.. Even if they don't talk, being close can be.. Good." "Yeah?" ".. It won't be easy, for either of them I believe.. But I believe that she wants to speak to him again, but doesn't know how. Like she might also be afraid that things will go wrong again. That she'll get lost again."
chat walk with me here
@threeoffucks okay first off IM SORRYYYYYYY FOR ALL THE TAGS ON THESE FUCKASS POSTS I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL MAN!!!!! SENDING ALL THE LOVE TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUU
alright here's the idea here Paphos (Doomed!Svetla) going to therapy There's one particular session where she's just more closed off, and eventually opening up and talking about Fortune and feeling like she doesn't deserve the kindness, how he doesn't scowl, he doesn't look at her like she's a domestic terrorist, like she's not any of the horrible things she's done and she feels like she just doesn't deserve that kindness from her dad Like she wants that kindness but feels undeserving of it after everything they've done to each other
Then here comes a wall of dialogue I'm about to spit
"You know, I'm having a similar situation with another one of my patients and his daughter." ".. What?" "Now normally I wouldn't talk about something like this with another patient, doctor patient confidentiality and all that.. But would it be alright if I asked for your input on it?" "I suppose.." "Right.. This patient, we'll call him.. Flower. Flower has been a patient of mine since he first arrived, dating back centuries by this point. When he woke up he was immediately placed into our psych hold, too unstable to be in the general population at that point. Bouts of psychosis, sometimes being found in this catatonic state.. Sometimes he would even get aggressive with staff. Looking at him now, you would never guess he would even think of throwing a punch at a nurse trying to give him his lunch, or telling them to uh.. 'stick it where the sun don't shine', to put it kindly." "Wow, he must have been a difficult case then" "It was one of the worst we had seen honestly, so when I was assigned to be his therapist I didn't expect much talking to be done in our first few sessions. Do you know how many it took before he spoke a word to me?" ".. How many?" "I believe about 5, so for the first 5 sessions he wouldn't say a word, he would just fiddle with his hands and stare into a wall. By the sixth session, he finally made a confession to me." "What was it?" "Well, it was more his way of lashing out. He said it was pointless to continue to come to these sessions that he was forced to go to, and said he would rather just be dead." "Why would he say that??" "That's what I asked, and he said that he had no reason of being here." "Like.. In therapy?" "Living, I believe. So again, I asked him why. That's when he first mentioned his daughter" ".. He had a daughter?" "He told me there was no point of being here, if his daughter wasn't here. He went on about how it was all his fault she was gone, and he couldn't live with that kind of guilt, and not being able to do something as simple as the final request she made to him." "So.. What did you do?" "I asked him what his daughter's name was." "Wh- wait why the hell would you do that? Wouldn't it be easier to just ask why he felt guilty, or what that request was??" "No, I know those types of questions would have made the situation worse. Asking her name seemed to make him pause, and he calmed down so he could tell me. After that, I asked what she looked like" "Why?? This feels stupid." "It certainly didn't feel stupid when he talked about her. For the first time, he was talking during a session. This time he didn't seem angry, or closed off. He seemed relieved that someone asked about her. Now, I didn't know this until I had seen his file, but it was written that he had lost his daughter when he came here. After the news was broken to him about it, he seemed to shut down. It was either nothing, or anger that everyone faced with him. Talking about her though seemed to help a great deal. The more questions I asked, the more he talked until our session was over. Do you know what he said to me before he had to leave?" "What did he say??" "He said thank you. The next session, he talked about how much she reminded him of his mother. I think it was being able to talk about his daughter that really helped him open up more about his own family, his trauma, what happened in his timeline.. He was making good progress with opening up." "It.. Sounds like Flower really cared about his daughter then."
HANG ON I GOTTA MAKE THIS INTO ANOTHER PART I THINK IT'S LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG
"There hasn't been a single session since that sixth one that he hasn't brought her up. In one way or another, he'll find a way to bring her up, even after all this time. Sometimes it's related to guilt, grief, but sometimes he'll simply just make a comment of something he saw and thinking about how she would have liked to see it too. Even with everything else that we would talk about concerning himself, at one point or another the session would focus on her." "What.. Happened, to his daughter? Did you ever find out?" "Well, originally we hadn't thought he even had one, and if he did then certain she had passed. If that were the case, then I was prepared to closely examine his grief." "So- wait did she die??" "It seemed like she was just.. Left behind. We had thoroughly believed she was dead until we found her, a grave mistake on our own part." ".. What happened when she was found?" "We brought her here, and rightfully the poor girl was terrified. I can't think of another time he looked more alive than when he saw her again. Even with all the medications, all the sessions he and I had, Flower looked more whole when he had her again." ".. Did he still come to sessions?" "Of course, finally around this time we were able to focus on more cheery subjects, even if many times the sessions would be concerning his daughter. We'll call her.. Hope." ".. Did you ever meet Hope?" "No. It's odd, I knew just about everything that Flower knew about his daughter, but I never met her. He aways talked about how tall she was getting, loose teeth, normal parent stuff." "Did he.. Did he ever talk about how she had changed?" "No, that didn't seem to come up during that time. He just seemed more relaxed, you could tell just by looking at him. It's like a switch flipped, and survival mode turned off for him. He talked about hallucinations being far less frequent, less anxiety when she was near. For a while things seemed to be really taking a turn for the better." ".. So something happened to change that, then." ".. He lost her again. She was sent away, despite his pleas, despite everything.. And for a bit, it felt like we were all the way back to square one. It went back to the basic questions of 'did you eat today', 'have you taken your medications', protocol questions is how I think of them." "..." "He told me of an old tradition he used to do, before she was sent away. He took her to this beach they would always go to, write wishes in bottles and throw them into the sea. So I asked him since he didn't want to talk, if he wanted to write letters and to put them in bottles. That's what we did for a bit, I would bring a bottle, he would write a letter and he would put it in the bottle." "Would you ever throw them into the ocean?" "The first few, we did. We went down to the beach, and threw them into the ocean, praying that Janna would find them and guide them to where they needed to go. Many of them at the start had been for Hope, and he always seemed to hesitate before throwing them. Like he wanted to keep them around, just in case she came back so she could read them. I then suggested if he wanted to keep them, we would find someplace safe for them to go to." "Did the bottles ever help him?" "After a while, they did. They became part of our routine, I would bring a bottle, and he would write. Then they started to be addressed towards his parents, his twin, other people he would want reading those letters. But most of them would be for Hope."
chat walk with me here
@threeoffucks okay first off IM SORRYYYYYYY FOR ALL THE TAGS ON THESE FUCKASS POSTS I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL MAN!!!!! SENDING ALL THE LOVE TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUU
alright here's the idea here Paphos (Doomed!Svetla) going to therapy There's one particular session where she's just more closed off, and eventually opening up and talking about Fortune and feeling like she doesn't deserve the kindness, how he doesn't scowl, he doesn't look at her like she's a domestic terrorist, like she's not any of the horrible things she's done and she feels like she just doesn't deserve that kindness from her dad Like she wants that kindness but feels undeserving of it after everything they've done to each other
Then here comes a wall of dialogue I'm about to spit
"You know, I'm having a similar situation with another one of my patients and his daughter." ".. What?" "Now normally I wouldn't talk about something like this with another patient, doctor patient confidentiality and all that.. But would it be alright if I asked for your input on it?" "I suppose.." "Right.. This patient, we'll call him.. Flower. Flower has been a patient of mine since he first arrived, dating back centuries by this point. When he woke up he was immediately placed into our psych hold, too unstable to be in the general population at that point. Bouts of psychosis, sometimes being found in this catatonic state.. Sometimes he would even get aggressive with staff. Looking at him now, you would never guess he would even think of throwing a punch at a nurse trying to give him his lunch, or telling them to uh.. 'stick it where the sun don't shine', to put it kindly." "Wow, he must have been a difficult case then" "It was one of the worst we had seen honestly, so when I was assigned to be his therapist I didn't expect much talking to be done in our first few sessions. Do you know how many it took before he spoke a word to me?" ".. How many?" "I believe about 5, so for the first 5 sessions he wouldn't say a word, he would just fiddle with his hands and stare into a wall. By the sixth session, he finally made a confession to me." "What was it?" "Well, it was more his way of lashing out. He said it was pointless to continue to come to these sessions that he was forced to go to, and said he would rather just be dead." "Why would he say that??" "That's what I asked, and he said that he had no reason of being here." "Like.. In therapy?" "Living, I believe. So again, I asked him why. That's when he first mentioned his daughter" ".. He had a daughter?" "He told me there was no point of being here, if his daughter wasn't here. He went on about how it was all his fault she was gone, and he couldn't live with that kind of guilt, and not being able to do something as simple as the final request she made to him." "So.. What did you do?" "I asked him what his daughter's name was." "Wh- wait why the hell would you do that? Wouldn't it be easier to just ask why he felt guilty, or what that request was??" "No, I know those types of questions would have made the situation worse. Asking her name seemed to make him pause, and he calmed down so he could tell me. After that, I asked what she looked like" "Why?? This feels stupid." "It certainly didn't feel stupid when he talked about her. For the first time, he was talking during a session. This time he didn't seem angry, or closed off. He seemed relieved that someone asked about her. Now, I didn't know this until I had seen his file, but it was written that he had lost his daughter when he came here. After the news was broken to him about it, he seemed to shut down. It was either nothing, or anger that everyone faced with him. Talking about her though seemed to help a great deal. The more questions I asked, the more he talked until our session was over. Do you know what he said to me before he had to leave?" "What did he say??" "He said thank you. The next session, he talked about how much she reminded him of his mother. I think it was being able to talk about his daughter that really helped him open up more about his own family, his trauma, what happened in his timeline.. He was making good progress with opening up." "It.. Sounds like Flower really cared about his daughter then."
HANG ON I GOTTA MAKE THIS INTO ANOTHER PART I THINK IT'S LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG
OKAY THIS HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOREVER BY THIS POINT
I saw something on tiktok that was like "a sentence starting with I used to has to be the saddest thing ever said" and people kept going on about "I used to" so here this is ALSO TW FOR TALK OF SUICIDAL IDEATIONS AND SUICIDE IN THE LAST ONE "I used to"
"I mean, I used to want to be an inventor." Paphos says it She's got her back turned to people, but she can feel their eyes on them She turns, ready to bite back and defend herself But instead of a scowl, she's met with sad eyes, heartbroken expressions Like from Jayce I know a sentence like that coming out of that girl's mouth has to be gut wrenching for him ".. But I mean- it's fine. Plans, dreams- people change, it's fine." "Mija-" "Papi will you stop looking at me like that?? I said it's fine, just drop it. Besides, I haven't even thought about things like that since I was a child." She almost forgot that little girl who wanted to be an inventor, just like her Tati. "It's fine. I'm durable."
She always said that Because it was true, of course. She was fine. She could handle it. She was durable. That's what they called her, at least. Durable. "I don't know how you survived living like that" "Sounds like you've been through hell" "You're certainly a trooper" "How have you managed to keep your chin up through it all?" All empty words At times almost invasive questions, prying for an answer they don't want "I'm durable" She thought back to that day in the workshop when she felt the full force of the Herald's rage "I'm durable" She thought as she wandered the ruins of Piltover, clinging to a nursery blanket "I'm durable" She thought as she soared over the entirety of Runeterra "I'm durable" She thought, shoving herself into clothes she despised "I'm durable" She said, they were just trying to help her get better. Helping her understand just how strong she really is "I'm durable" She said, knowing she would have to give her final goodbyes to her siblings as she was taken back home "I'm durable" She thought, licking her wounds clean from a fresh fight Durable. She was durable. She looks back on the colorful scar tissue scattered across her body Somehow, she was more durable than most would ever believe, despite her runt-like appearance
"Why did you want to do it?"
She found herself puzzled by the question "What do you mean by that?" "Throughout our sessions, I've noticed your.. Suicidal ideations, and we've also acknowledged your history with previous attempts, yes?" ".. Where is this going?" "I suppose it would just lead me to have one question.. Why?" "Why.. What, exactly?" "Why did you want to do it?" ".. I suppose.. I wanted to know what peace felt like" "Paphos.. You shouldn't have to die to know what peace feels like. You should know peace in your life" "My life? My- hah.. My whole life has been nothing but a fight. Any time I believed peace existed, it was revealed to me that it came at a cost, with conditions. Conditions where I could not be me, where I had to fight to simply exist, and then fight some more.. So yes, I believe the only way I can truly feel peace is in death. Satisfied?"
@threeoffucks look these I had to write these out they were festering in my brain for TOO LONG THEY HAD TO GET OUT SOMEHOW
OKAY FINAL THOUGHT BEFORE I SLEEP
I SWEAR I WILL DO SOME LATE HALLOWEEN THING BUT
just sit with this
"Paphos what did you want to be when you were a kid?" "huh?" "I'm certain you didn't just want to be a.. Giant bird living in the wilderness. What did you want to be?" ... ".. An inventor. I wanted to be an inventor"
@threeoffucks I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS THINKING BACK ON WHAT SHE SAID IN SINGULARITY ON WANTING TO BE AN INVENTOR HER DREAMS WERE TAKEN FROM HERRRRRRRRR I AM FUCKING SICK
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
@threeoffucks IF YOU HAVE NOT LISTENED TO THIS SONG PLEASE DO BECAUSE TELL ME THIS DOES NOT SOUND LIKE THEIR FUCKING SONG I DO WANT TO FINISH THIS BUT I WANTED TO POST WHAT I HAVE SO FAR NOW
@threeoffucks I HAD TO RE PRESENT THE FINISHED PRODUCT
more sumprat shenanigans from my mind palace
Rango: he's been known to have a.. Bold personality Paphos: oooooooh... So he's a bitch Rango: .. Yeah pretty much
Rango: you know I have to sometimes think about the shit with my mom and laugh a little. Like mom why did you have beef with me when I was 4 I loved you Paphos: twin same omg Maya: no the beef your dad had with you was you existing so he dipped
Jayce: has anyone seen Paphos?? She's been missing for hours now Rango: oh yeah she's at the swamp Jayce: ... Why??? Maya: well she's technically a wild animal, where else would a wild animal go aside from the wild?? Jayce: Maya that's not a nice thing to say Maya: wh- if Paphos were here she would agree! Rango: that's... Actually true, yeah she would. I'd give her 3 days before dragging her back to society Jayce: guys she may be a little.. Feral but she's no wild animal Maya: like you when you were staring at a lizard the other day?? Jayce: we don't talk about the lizard
Paphos: I think the craziest thing is I have been neglected, then abandoned for thousands of years, then forced to conform and tortured when I didn't conform, and yet you bitches could not just go the easy route and kill me. It's like a lose situation for everybody Rango: Paphos I swear to fuck I have your therapist on speed dial right now Paphos: good I can tell her about the time I had to eat an animal I had considered my best friend to survive Maya: .. Sweet Janna girl Paphos: Or the fact back in my home timeline the oceans are filled with bottles I had written countless letters to people that didn't care enough to stick around Jayce: ... Paphos Paphos: if I cannot die I will make my existence a problem to everyone and show them the consequences of forcing me to live
Paphos: alright we need a distraction Jayce: great idea, so- Paphos: I am going to throw myself down the stairs Jayce: okay- WAIT WHAT-
Jayce: Paph I think you've made some really good progress lately- Rango: she licked a dead spider yesterday Jayce: ... what? Maya: she also fought a goose just last week Jayce: .. Alright those are minor things Paphos: I didn't just fight any goose last week, Maya. I am now their king, and they respect my territory Jayce: .. Paphos. Paphos: I'm not just some psychotic wild beast, I am now the goose king Rango: .. That sounds like you qualify for a straight jacket and a padded room
@threeoffucks I swear I have more because these 3 are so chaotic I love it
AND I DO HAVE MORE
Paphos: we're going to need more hands for this.. Perhaps I should call my friends Rango: .. What the hell did she say?? Maya: Paphos you don't have friends Paphos: .. I get asked to make friends. That was a task that I was given and I accomplish tasks. So yes, Maya, I do have friends Rango: .. Paphos how mentally well are these friends of yours? Paphos: Rango they are my friends. Clearly not well enough if they see me as their friend