stab happy

the cambrian period was like 10 years ago

the cambrarin period was like 3 years ago

woke deadbeat father: i'm just going to get some oat milk

if you've ever gone on a romantic "date" at olive garden just block me rn i literally can't deal with you proshippers -_-

what

when you're there you're family

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

drawings are secretly the enemy because they start off very nice and unassuming but then when they're about 80% done they start emanating a malevolent aura that makes finishing them the scariest activity you can imagine

advil (ibuprofen) 200mg liquid capsule

are bots making communities now??? some of the ones i get recommended feel like it

can you imagine you wake up one day in a dark room chained to a radiator with your phone at 1% and you unlock it and find that you've been added to this community

The first thing you do in that situation is open Tumblr?

Where the hell else would I post about being chained to a radiator, fucking Bluesky?

notice that no one on MTV Cribs has an emergency eyewash station

thinking about Brad Dourif in "Istanbul" and the fact is Grima Wormtongue would have gotten away with it forever if they'd let him be hot. with better hair he could've run that horse girl country into the ground for decades. eomer would've been like "dang, seems like my uncle is a very bad king for no reason, oh well." pretty privilege grima wormtongue could have girlbossed middle earth into the flames of mordor

accused of using too many ellipses... don't care... there's always more to come...