ella

after 2 years of silent battling with it I finally sought help to ease it.

a year ago when I was being clinically diagnosed with PTSD; I'm never been more vocal with the things that were happening with me;

everything was always new and exhausting including the concept of why these things are just happening to me???but with this journey of being alive and figuring out;

I've always been grateful to everyone who is with me every single day to check on me.

which one thought of "pano yung ibang tao na no one to talk with?"

"yung mga nsa silent battle parin?"

"hindi vocal on what's happening to them?"

Guys I'm telling you fighting with something inside of your mind is truly exhausting than physically running 🥺

or it's truly hurting than sana sinapak nyo nalang ako physically 'coz that will be healed than hurting me psychologically.

our way of coping up with things will always be different from one another.

If you're experiencing the same things and thinking and feeling no one to talk with?? please DM me I'm always willing to listen 🫂🫂

One of my Life's unpaid therapist 🤍

A year ago;

You always listen to my life unfiltered drama,

Being my emotional stress reliever but on to the other way My stress adder?? Chariz!

My life at work became so much easier because you always make it less complicated 🥹✨

I've been with the company like at my 6th year? But knowing and meeting you at my 4th year was my fave 🥰

2 years passed and became closer being you like a mentor was priceless! 🙇🏻‍♀️🤍

What other people saying was true, you'll meet someone and they're either a blessing or a lesson 🥹

and having you will always be both! 🤍🤍

I might not have the same level of Patience, Understanding and Wisdom but Thank you so much always for sharing everything that you can with me.

This photo a year ago was really surreal because di ko ma-imagine to get close with you but then like what you always saying destiny permits! 🥹🥰 After all that I don't want to eat alone because I just can't. After all you always join me for lunch even how busy you are sa work and you always make time for me 🥹

I'm too soft again 🥺🥺 Pero makaka-move on ulit ako konting di lang ako pansinin ulit 🥹🥺

Pero while posting this what I'm feeling was so much kilig and happy that he tells me this way than pabayaan akong mag-overthink 🥺😭

Context was on my last shift while waiting for mama to get fetch me I'd stay Muna a bit sa ops. So thinking of I won't be seeing him for 4 days makes my heart miss him agad 🥺 So while waiting I tambay to his station just looking to him no any talking or what just looking and he's smiling lang which my heart fell 🥺😂 he's wrapping up work he's checking if how am I because my sensitive teeth attack me again previous shift and that shift so he's checking. Tell him na "naneun? gwenchana ningningningning" 🤣 kr tr to fil na "ako okay lang naman" he knows me na random nag-tatalk sa kr hahaha

He smile again 😭

So loob loob ko pag eto nag-smile pa kikiss ko na talaga 🤣😡 Intrusive thoughts ko lang, mwehehe si OA 😂🤣

Di ako maka-tiis na because he's joking na and I found myself smiling till my teeth hurts naaaaaa.

I've asked him na didn't u miss me? That's 3 weeks 🥺🥺 he's just smiling again. Pretending didn't hear me.

I said back na why he's so busy for those 3 weeks may upcoming client visit kazi tapos inask ko pa 🤣😂 parang tanga wahaha.

So ending di ko sya tinigilan to ask the same question then he's answering na

"dapat di mo na itanong yan"

"hindi pa ba obvious"

"that's self explanation"

Hearing those words my reply was "so you didn't miss me?" With arte voice 🤣

As in my heart shattered ready na mag-move on umuwi. Then when I got home getting ready to sleep I check my phone before charging then seeing he's chat. 🥺✨

With my failed marriage 2 years ago. My life was less lonely ever since, It's been home ↪️ work ↪️ gym ↪️ master's 🔂

And there's a saying that's true like "when God removes a person to your life, he'll replace it with someone much better."

I'm not that saying he's much better. But maybe I'm kinda late?? The humor, the morals and he'll never leave me sad.

Working with him those 2 years was really an eye opener that everyone has their own reasons of doing something for their own. Something that we can't either judge.

He's always kinda my to-go buddy when work gets out of hand. He's "Tara Ice cream", "Kain sa labas.", "Kung saan mo gusto kumain". and he'll make time even he's drowning with meetings which I really appreciate.

He was super non-chalant before almost no empathy/sympathy for anybody not until he learns to have character development na Hahahahahahahahaha. Sobrang LT. Pero much better

Always someone I can hug as a jowa, someone I could rant and yap with as a best friend and he's someone who advises so good as a parent.

I know everytime we're getting that close I'm always into "sorry po lord" and "I only live once."

after writing and having this here more likely wala na yung 'this feelings' and hopefully na I can make everything in civil ulit 😶‍🌫️🥹 I'm trying my best to make everything right.

8 years of kadramahan here on tumblr plus pa yung dati kong acc siguro 10 years na talaga akong nagddrama hays