Black souls

I try

God, I try to understand

to stretch my patience thin enough to wrap around both of us, to stay soft, even when it would be easier to turn into something sharper

but I am so tired of being the only gentle thing in a place that keeps asking for more

I am tired

of translating silence into excuses

of calling distance “just a phase”, of holding space that is never held for me

I don’t want to be the only one who knows how to love like this. I don’t want to keep pouring into hands that never learn how to pour back

I want patience that meets mine, softness that answers mine, understanding that doesn’t feel like a one-sided language because I have given

and given

and given

and I have learned the hard, quiet way, that love

should not feel like begging for what I already offer, I am not asking for too much