If You Must Know...

You’re still my favorite.

Just ‘cause I don’t make a thing about it doesn’t mean that I never think about it, 'cause I do. Just 'cause I learned how to live without you, doesn’t mean that I ever really wanted to.

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.

He was more than the boring adjectives you’d use to describe someone. Sure, he was caring, sweet, and nice, but he was more than that. He was a walking bundle of joy, a soul that lit up an entire room when he walked in and made you smile, not at his jokes but about the way you saw yourself because he always made you feel beautiful. He cared a lot about his family and friends, he sees himself growing old with his best friends and stay being the boys they were and will always be. He bought flowers and chocolate, for no special occasion, just when he wanted to remind you how much he loves you or appreciates your presence in his life. He was someone you fell in love with and you couldn’t get out of his world, nor did you want to.

This year I learned to be selfish. Selfish with my time, my heart, my feelings, my mind and most importantly myself. I spent entirely too much time feeling sorry for the things I couldn’t change, wishing for things I didn’t have, and begging for people who did not deserve me. It has taken me two decades to realize I am a prize worth winning, I am a caviar dinner not a gas station hot dog. This year I’ve lost people I thought I couldn’t live without and given myself everything I needed. Next year, I hope I can learn to love myself.