𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐧 arrogance. ambition. artifice, the boy who built himself into a god and then demanded worship, all sharp suits, sharper words; a smile that cuts deeper than any blade, calls it confidence. they call it cruelty, but you don’t make history by being kind.
open to and and all plots / connections. shipping is based on chemistry only.
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for as much as she needed the affirmation herself for her own faults, she was always more than happy to give that same reassurance right back. especially when it came to how good max truly was, deep down.
this was where they were so painfully similar - the idea of the world deciding who you were and it was much less painful, a protection mechanism of sorts, to just lean into that than to try and convince people otherwise.
but as long as she had air in her lungs and he wanted her around, she would always be here to remind him of how she seen him - through all of the bullshit.
looking on at him, eyes continuing to watch, she grabbed at his chin a bit forcefully. "depends." she spoke lowly, as she fully dominated his attention. "...can you keep a secret?" a quick peck and a giggle filtered past her lips despite attempting to keep a serious expression, now bringing herself close to bury herself into his neck.
"but really, I just hope he knows how much good I see in him, how much I appreciate everything he does for me...and how much he fuckin' means to me. more than anything."
there she was, he thought with a grin on his face. she hadn’t been too upset for too long — not at all compared to how long she had been with him in the past — but every second felt like an hour had passed. so when she responded like that, playing right into his stupid jokes with equal playfulness… the relief he felt was palpable.
“he knows.” he responded simply, giving his head a firm nod. he wasn’t necessarily the kind of guy who liked to talk about his feelings, or write a love song, but he liked to think that violet had at least some kind of an idea as to what he felt about her. and not only when he showed her that physically, although that was still his favorite way of expressing himself.
especially when she did things like what she did to his neck. his teeth softly bit down into his bottom lip as he let her. but once she was settled down and quiet, resting in the crook of his neck, he couldn’t help but pull himself away just slightly — and with much reluctance.
“so do i need to warn you again that we’re still not playing the quiet game when our guest eventually gets here?”
the remorse that hit her once the realization did was practically instant. she had never thought about it that way and in fact, her own spiteful nature wouldn't allow her to. things before may have been presented to her like this in the past - but it had to be the person to deliver it, for it to really sink in.
it was the fact that max took the time to want to improve things for her and her family - when he didn't have to, at all. but then again, that was the reason ultimately, why she loved him as much as she did.
she kept herself silent as he offered his affirmation, knowing that her gratitude for it all would have to be shared differently than just a 'thank you' ... but as soon as his lips were on hers, all thoughts - good, bad or otherwise - were completely wiped away.
her hands trailed upwards from his chest to around his neck, nails gently scratching at his skin and her eyes still blissfully closed for a moment after he had pulled away.
she reopened her eyes only in response to his words, her body now finding its rhythm in practically melting against him, back slightly arched and her lips forming into a smirk of her own.
"mm ... and the best part of that, love? is that I always will be." she murmured, nudging her nose against before beginning to lay more kisses against his neck. "Because I happen to have ... the most amazing, thoughtful, considerate ... " with each descriptive, she laid another kiss, her hands holding his head softly in place while she lavished him with affection. "...incredible man. my man. my whole fuckin' heart."
and if he wouldn't accept a 'thank you', this would have to do.
if you would have given max a single dollar for every time someone attributed some kind of good character trait to him, then he simply would’ve been no richer than he was right now. and although he didn’t necessarily need any more of that financial boost, he absolutely needed that — craved that — assurance that he was morally good.
for the majority of his life — from childhood to the present — he was so used to being… fundamentally wrong. the villainous type, and that had absolutely nothing to do with his in-ring persona. he was arrogant, vain, selfish, to name only a few — in the eyes of so many people that he had no choice but to believe that maybe they were right. maybe he was all those things.
and it was so hard to accept, but he tried.
so when violet said things that contradicted all of that — told him the things that he secretly wanted to hear… it wasn’t that he didn’t want to hear them or believe them, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. to understand why he deserved that.
despite the conflicted feelings that ran back and forth aimlessly through his mind, he still managed to grin at her as if nothing was going on inside of him.
“so what does that make me, exactly?” he raised his chin just a bit, quirking an eyebrow at her. “your side piece or some shit?”
If there was anything that Violet knew she had the utmost tendency to be, it was introspective. always thinking, always having thoughts about everything and anything. so, whenever max gave her the moment to just ... think during times like this without judgment, it was so very appreciated. coupled with the fact that his eyes on her the way they fell, never failed to make her cheeks slightly pink, in their own self-conscious kind of way.
and as she teased him - just a little bit - his reaction was exactly what she was shooting for, making her laugh out loud with the sound reverberating all around them. the sound of joy and admiration within the walls of their home only mirrored the look of adoration at him, once he gave his comedically dramatic groan. she was also sure that if it were possible to have hearts dancing around her head in that moment, they would have.
"considering I give you lots of other credit where it's deserved, mostly on a nightly basis..." her words held a certain air of suggestion to them, leaning forward ever so slightly to mumble those against his lips. "...I think you'll survive." she mused with a wink as she settled down from her laughter, her hands resting flat against his chest in the same kind of grounding motion that his arm around her waist provided.
once he also provided some insight as to what led up to their get together of before, she visibly softened at the thought, giving a small exhale through her nostrils. "ah..." she managed out, as his words of prior were really settling in. if her mum was willing to go through not only the effort to organize the party but to get max involved, a clear sign that she was invested in her daughter's life, it began to feel like violet HAD been a bit harsh.
"...you probably think that I'm such a rotten, spoiled brat now, don't you?" her words were half-joking, knowing that after all of the complaining and grievances she had just listed before him about her mother, it all seemed ... so small in the grand scheme of things now.
watching his words sink in and settle into her brain in real time was an experience. there were no other words to describe it, really. and of course, the grin that quickly spread across the side of his mouth perfectly reflected that too. she got it. she understood now. and if he thought that she was lukewarm to the idea before, now he knew that she was piping hot and completely sold.
“i don’t think any of those things, actually.” his reply came quick. perhaps too quickly not to be even a little bit suspicious. it probably sounded like he was just saying things for the sake of saying them. but that just wasn’t who max was. and the fact that his grin still hadn’t disappeared from his face said that he had more to say. and he was going to say it, but not before he leaned into her just enough to capture her lips with his own in an embrace that settled comfortably somewhere between a quick peck and a steamy, passionate kiss.
“i think you’re my rotten, spoiled brat. there’s a difference.”
eyes still on him, she could feel the slight flutters all the way down from her heart to her toes at the sight of his more broad, beaming smile. this was the stuff that made it worth it - every time something was hard, or challenging or scary … she’d go through it each and every time if it meant she could keep that smile on his face.
and there he went, right to work at her suggestion. with her own bright smile, she leaned herself up to press a big kiss onto his cheek while he searched up the options.
the question that followed did, however, still give her a bit of pause. yet, this wasn’t from a place of reservation like it was before, more so … letting the wheels turn on how she was going to do so.
while he continued to look up some places on his phone, she took the opportunity to readjust where she was sitting. from cuddled up to his side, she now maneuvered herself into his lap, fully facing him now.
pursing her lips together, she conceded to his point. “yeah, I think I will. she’s probably going to wonder if something happened, honestly…” a soft laugh followed, already imagining the conversation in her head. “… but just to be clear, is this you saying that I can take credit for this incredibly brilliant idea?” her lips formed into a smirk, one that read like she had gotten away with one of the most devious crimes.
as focused as he was on the information he was currently scrolling through on his phone, max couldn’t help but feel a shift. not only the physical one that came when she readjusted her position and moved so that she was now sitting in his lap, but also the metaphorical kind. the one that you couldn’t quite see, but still felt strongly enough. and as his free arm instinctively moved around her back, he couldn’t help but raise his gaze toward her.
and given the overall grim mood that existed earlier, it was fair to say that this shift between them was nothing if not a good one. a warmly welcomed one.
as she considered his words, his phone quickly went ignored as he watched her think — probably one of his favorite things to do. but then again, what didn’t he like watching her do? he even thoroughly enjoyed those habits of hers that he complained about or called ‘annoying.’
he was all but ready to respond playfully that technically something did happen — an absolute fuckin’ miracle — and to tell her that there was absolutely no need to rush into anything, that she could invite her mother whenever she felt like it. but as soon as he opened his mouth to do so, violet said her next words, and all that came from him was a loud, dramatic groan.
“baby …” the word was dramatically drawn out in a whine. “you’re not supposed to gloat like that unless you want me to change my mind. it was hard enough for me to let you do that.” and he was only half joking when he said that.
“but since we’re apparently in the habit of discrediting me …” his shrug gave the impression that he didn’t care too much about what he was going to say next, despite it being something that he had quietly considered for some time now. “you know that surprise get-together we had for you a few weeks back in florida? she was actually the one who contacted me with the idea, not the other way around. so i think it’s safe to say that you mean a lot to her, despite what you may think.”
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as far as she was concerned, as long as she was right here by his side? she knew she would be safe. physically, emotionally ... and everything in between. for as exhausted as all of that sharing had made her, nothing else mattered once she felt his lips on her temple, all of her tension from prior now seemingly non-existent.
it was funny, too - because in that moment, she had completely forgotten about the promise she had made to thank him less, since the gratitude came as effortlessly as her exhales. in her mind, he deserved it, no matter if he thought it wasn't necessary.
looking up at him, eyes watching him with complete adoration, she nodded. he had convinced her. "yeah. we can do that. even if I'm not quite sure all of what we'd do. she doesn't exactly have the most exciting of hobbies..." the chuckle was a notable more light-hearted change from her refusal to even entertain the idea earlier. "...are there like, any botanical gardens or conservatories for plants around here? I think she'd rather like that."
with only a few words in the affirmative, his smile quickly broadened. a feat that spoke volumes about their dynamic — and not only because violet was the only one capable of bringing about such an expression from max, but because she was able to do so with seemingly so little effort. needless to say, he wasn’t complaining. if anything, he just hoped he could do the same for her.
as glad as he was to hear that she was more receptive to the idea of her mom visiting, he had to admit she had a point. admittedly, a very good one. what would they do? that gave him pause. not because there was a lack of ideas for things to do on long island, per se, but because it really boiled down to the fact that he didn’t exactly know this woman.
thankfully, he didn’t have to stay quiet or lost in thought for too long. it was violet’s suggestion that served as a breath of fresh air. he smiled once again as he quickly reached down into his pocket and pulled out his phone.
“that’s actually a great idea. i’m sure we got plenty of those around here. i’ll find something.” and once he unlocked his phone, he frantically began tapping away at the screen.
“in the meantime, i know you gave me an answer before, but here’s your chance to reconsider; do you wanna invite her, or do you think i should? personally, i think it would land a bit better if it was you. make it seem like this was your idea, you know?”
in this moment, there was a pull to retreat, to run away from how uncomfortable this vulnerability made her. but there was never any doubt in her mind that max would take care of her in times like this, he always did. she just felt raw, sensitive even … like the embodiment of a bundle of nerves that just been exposed.
she nodded. more so that he knew she had heard him and understood, even if she wasn’t even sure where to start. thankfully, though … it seemed like she didn’t have to tackle this alone, which she was grateful for. she didn’t need to have it figured out, she just needed to try.
the squeeze of her hand gestured her closer to him, returning her position to cuddle with him again and even as she readjusted, she kept their hands clasped to look down at their joined tattoos as well. a physical, tangible promise of their bond.
“…thank you.” she hummed, giving an exhale where she laid her head contently on his shoulder. “I mean it. I don’t think I would have considered doing something this without you, so … just know I appreciate you. I love you.”
he smiled. not so much in relief — although there was a large part of that — but more so as a display of his genuine gratitude for her trust. for her love. the two things that meant more to him than anything else in the world.
and along with that smile came him leaning forward to press his lips against her temple as she made herself comfortable, cuddling up to him once again.
“don’t thank me, violet. seriously, i mean that.” she probably — most likely — wouldn’t listen to him on that, but he still felt compelled to make his point clear: that he would do anything for her.
“so does this mean you’re open to her spending a few days over here? just say the word and we won’t invite her — we won’t even remember that this idea was brought up at all — if you’re not comfortable with it.”
the violet of before, the violet of as recently as a little over a year ago, wouldn't have been receptive to anything that max had just said. in a space and time where she hadn't done the work both internally and through therapy over the last 12+ months, she could see herself easily snapping at him, biting back at any perceived inkling that he didn't support her.
but from where she stood now and with as long as they had been together, she knew that wasn't the case, as much as her faulty brain wanted her to believe otherwise.
she didn't say anything after he finished and the pause that followed wasn't because she was offended or shocked by any means, but more so in her attempt to gather her thoughts in this way. to do an internal tug of war with how her brain wanted her to react in an impulsive shotgun manner, versus what she knew was actually true.
the thumb against her hand was grounding and as she spent her time mulling over thoughts, it just felt more and more tiring as the moments passed. like she was spinning her wheels in mud - an attempt to get out of this train of thought but an attempt that was still leading her stuck.
he was being reasonable, even mature about the situation - and there was a part of her that didn't disagree. but there was also another part of her that was fighting to hold onto these feelings, because it was all she had ever known for such a long time. default mode.
so, she led with the only thing she knew how to do: honesty.
"...I don't know where to put it." she whispered softly, sadly, with a frown that was no etching itself on her features. "the anger. the disappointment. even if I wanted to put it down, I don't know where." and even still, she didn't let go of his hand.
"and I'm sorry to hear that they put you through that, too. when all you wanted to do was chase a bloody dream." her gaze up to this point was still low, hovering over the union of their hands, until she finally mustered up some will to meet his eyes. "how did you ... do it? how did you forgive them?"
of all the reactions she could possibly have to what he said — both good and bad — the one that he actually ended up receiving was by far the one that he expected the least. so much that he, himself, didn’t exactly understand how to receive it. was she being sincere or was she being sarcastic in her insinuations that he had he shit with his own parents worked out? that he was, in this situation, someone she could look up to as an example?
the thought made him so sick that he immediately began shaking his head. “i’m still working on things with them, actually. i know i’m not the best son in the world despite whatever they may say, but … i’m trying. it’s work, i won’t bullshit you, but it’s worth it. like i said before, grudges are fuckin’ heavy to carry around for literally no reason. i’m probably literally the last person who should be giving you this kinda advice, i realize that, but ,,,” he gave his shoulders a bit of an unenthusiastic shrug before continuing. “i’m giving you the same shit i was told. and if it didn’t make sense to me, i wouldn’t offer to you, but here i am.”
he squeezed on her hand that he was holding, turning it over so that could smile down in admiration at the tattoo on her ring finger. a newfound habit of his ever since they both got their matching tattoos a few weeks ago. “i’m not sayin’ to do this shit overnight. just give it a try. and if you don’t like it? fuck it, abandon the idea. but i think you’ll feel much better for it.”
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it was always an internal battle whenever violet decided to be vulnerable with max in this way - half of her appreciating him more than anything for just sitting and listening, but the other half questioning if she was saying too much, sharing too much, if she was even making sense. but when it came to max: she would try. every single time.
"I guess, I hope more than anything ... that this provides understanding as to why I'm so damn stubborn, so confrontational with my opinions, so easy to bristle when it comes to things that matter to me... because it feels like for as long as I can remember, I have had to justify and fight for every opinion and perspective that I have. it was never enough to just ... have them."
shaking her head, she confirmed she was done, at least for now. "I'm sure there is ... but for now, I think that all generally illustrates my point. and if I have anything else that comes up from your questions or whatever, I'll do that. but yeah... go for it. thanks for listening."
her words were soft but held an underlining of being resigned, her shoulders slumped while her eyes fixed themselves still in her lap.
he nodded — not just in acknowledgment, but in understanding. as much as he enjoyed just lounging back and listening to her — despite whatever he said about her and her accent — speak, it probably went without saying that he enjoyed actually doing the talking that much more. so when violet gave him that proverbial green light, he all but literally jumped at the opportunity to do so.
“okay, first of all, i just wanna make it perfectly clear that i’m not tryna discredit your feelings or anything like that. i get it. you’re not wrong for feeling the way that you do. but on the other hand…” he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “i also understand your mom. just hear me out for a minute.”
he had to stop himself for a moment. not too long, but still long enough to properly choose and plan out his words and how he was going to deliver his message without jumbling things the way he’d done so many times in the past.
“was your issue that your brother was getting away with shit that you weren’t? baby, that’s just stupid fuckin’ gender roles or whatever. they suck, they really do, but your mom just isn’t from this generation, you know what i mean? she probably dealt with the same shit when she was younger and doesn’t know any better. you can ask my sisters and they’ll tell you that growing up with the expectations of being the perfect jew girl was no different. looking back, i’m sure i got away with so much more than they did.
“i just think that while she might not have been looking out for you in the best way… it was the best way that she knew — maybe the only way. just try looking at shit from her point of view.” his suggestion was soft, much like the expression on his face as he stared at her, rubbing his thumb against the back of her hand in encouragement. “and her lack of support about you pursuing music? i won’t pretend like that doesn’t suck, ’cuz i know very well how much that shit sucks. and it reminds me of what i went through. did i ever tell you about when i decided to become a wrestler? you think my parents were happy about it? absolutely fuckin’ not. i was playing football in college, and i was actually pretty good at it. but honestly, i was doing it to appease them. so when i finally decided to follow my true dream and abruptly drop out of school… i can still remember the car ride back home. my dad was absolutely livid, and my mom? i never saw her cry so much in my entire life. they thought i was throwing everything away for no reason. there i was, a five-foot-nothing jew expecting to make a career outta wrestling?” he made a face, wrinkling his nose in disgust for emphasis. “admittedly, it took me a long time to forgive them for it and to understand that they were only looking out for me. they only had my best interests in mind.
“so while i don’t exactly agree with your mom, i would be lying if i said that i agreed with you fully. i think maybe you’re being a little bit too harsh.”
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but out for free to just anybody at least ??
they're really mean, you're not a crybaby i just think you're very driven by your goals to an extent that it makes you passionate and intense. there's nothing wrong with that.
...thank you.
definitely not for free, are you kidding me? i'm an expensive and high class whore, not some charity work. never said i believe it or that it bothered me 🤷🏽♂️ but i appreciate it.
i don't remember saying it, but honestly, i fuckin' would. and i'm glad i did.
she imagined that essentially, it was normal to have these clashes with your parents over the small stuff. the things all kids dealt with growing up. she couldn't imagine she was telling max anything up to this point that was a revelation.
until she continued.
"what I wore, how I sat, how I presented myself. from as long as I could remember, it was always commented on. I was always required to say hello and converse with relatives, even if I didn't know them. it was all about being a good host. tending a good home. being a proper lady. and then ... "
she could feel the pang in her chest, knowing how things were about to get heavier.
"...when I started to get older, when I started developing a personality for myself versus what she wanted me to be, I was told how it wasn't right. how the music I listened to wasn't proper. how I couldn't expect to receive respect based off the way I presented myself. I could never express my likes or raise an opinion because it was always frowned upon. and here's the thing, it was never relayed as insults. it was always something like 'I'm so worried that you won't find anyone to take care of you if you act like that' or 'you can't expect to find a suitable partner dressing the way you do'. it's fucking exhausting."
there was one last note on her mind, at least for the time being, as she could feel herself visibly tense at the memory. "but I think ... the worst part of all of it was when I told both her and my dad how I wanted to do the music thing. how I had a plan to make it happen for myself. that I was going to uni to pursue it and it wasn't going to be a pipe dream. only for them to give a 'hah. okay.' and tell me how that wasn't a suitable, real career ... yet when Bailey said he wanted to be a wrestler, they told him all he had to do was actively train and show them that he was serious. I didn't understand...still don't, really ... how or why the rules for him were different."
she wished she was able to stop there, but as the pain seeped from her wounds like an open cut, she just kept going. "the day I'll never forget is when I was so proud, my mate and I had produced my first ever song from scratch while I was going to school. using lyrics I had written myself. and I was so excited to show them how serious I was, too. that maybe if they heard with their own ears that I was actually wanting to make a go of things, they'd get behind me too. but they didn't. in fact, they were horrified when I played them the song. granted, the words weren't anything amazing, but between my mum in shock, my dad walking out before the song even finished and my bloody brother cackling like a hyena in the corner...I realized I, myself as I was, couldn't or wouldn't be good enough. the only way I would have gotten any kind of approval is if I crammed myself into their shitty, tiny shell of expectation and I just couldn't do that. I still won't."
how he managed to maintain a certain level of patience, just listening to violet as she poured out her heart without any kind of rush or interruption, even surpassed max’s own understanding, yet he still managed. blessedly. it was patience that wasn’t shown to just anyone. but with violet? it served as a testament to the deep love that he had for her. and so, with no change from the last minutes, he sat there, taking in every single word that was thrown in his direction.
and he wanted so badly to fix things. to take her in his arms, and remind her that everything was okay — everything was going to be okay. but the more that she went on, the more that he realized that things weren’t going to be so simple. this wasn’t just some casual overnight fix. the issue she had with her parents — mostly with her mother — ran much deeper than that. and honestly, max still couldn’t say that he truly understood it.
some parts, yes. some of it even hit home, namely the stories about her revealing her desire to pursue music. it reminded him too much of when he decided he would actively pursue a career in wrestling. it was something that he wouldn’t mind sharing with her. in fact, he had every single intention of doing so, but again, it was all about being patient at the moment and waiting obediently for the chance to say his piece.
when she stopped speaking in the end, he waited about a couple of minutes before chiming in, “actually, i got some things to say,” he admitted, “but i said i would let you talk your shit first. are you done? or is there still more?”
