lex

i get angry that hewwo is now a word, but then i remember that squeegee is a word and has been for a century so humans have always been awful

hewwo mistew squeegee?

I’m going to find you and I swear by the moon and stars I will make you bleed

this is undecipherable

mirror mirror on the wall. sofa sofa over there. desk desk in that corner. im so glad im getting this home renovation

SOUND ON

aw confused bee sounds like a chicken XD

it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”

I wanna know who did this research.

Why am i laughing so hard?

THE FUCKING HANDS

you know those lawn mower robots? vegetarian roombas.

the implication in this post that regular roombas consume meat is frankly kind of terrifying

big portion of dust is in fact human skin so regular roombas consume mostly just human skin.

someone understands

bungle said fuck blue lives

smash that mf reblog if u hate pedophiles

You know that post with the broken likes? If this doesn’t get enough reblogs to crash the icon then I’m fucking rioting

the gods have spoken

I literally busted out laughing at this picture