i have unfortunately failed to do a good tribute well.. even if we don't care about my art and my efforts I know she would like it and that's enough for me well.. how about we talk just a little now.
I think it's a bit of a time to talk about this. That was one of the reasons too. Since she passed away, well, I couldn't draw anymore, and the indifferent and insulting reactions really hurt me. People I thought were friends just stabbed me in a heart that was already broken. I tried to be a strong person, but I couldn't keep this to myself.I explained quite a bit in this video if you have time to watch it , I made a YouTube post too I wanted to pay tribute to her because she was truly one of the best things that happened to me in 2025. Despite the problems I faced the floods and malnutrition she was there to support me, and that helped me keep going. I won't dwell on it too much, but I remember when I had no electricity and things were really tough, thinking about her made me feel better.As for the future, I'm not really sure what to do. Things seem to be improving I no longer struggle with malnutrition, I have enough resources now, and I've been able to improve my living conditions a bit. I just hope that 2026 goes well, even if being alone will be difficult. What I do know is that I just want to protect myself now and avoid people who might mock me or someone close to me. I only want to be surrounded by people who genuinely care about me and my creations. So if your intentions are self-serving, I'd rather you not interact with me.I want to be surrounded by people who truly care about me now. What life has taught me recently has been very hard, but I've learned that taking care of your loved ones and yourself is important. I don't really care about views or having a big popular server anymore I just want a peaceful life where I can share my creations without worrying about all these problems. I'm still lost, but I'm going to follow my heart and hope that everything will be okay.
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🌹-My partner, Odette, died by suicide.She passed away on June 2, 2025.She was an incredibly kind person.Funny.Gentle.She was always there for me, even when I wasn’t okay.She had heart problems.She spent time fighting in the hospital.And she used to tell me that my drawings helped her feel a little better.That they gave her comfort.Knowing that something I created could bring her even a small amount of light…meant everything to me.But unfortunately, the depression and the pressure she was living with became too much. And I couldn’t save her. For a long time, I kept everything to myself.I wanted to talk about it… but when I tried, some people I considered “friends” made fun of her death.So I stopped talking.I was left alone.Again.And I realized something painful:a lot of people didn’t really care about what I was feeling.---The sentence that still hurts the most is something she once told me:“I’m sorry… I couldn’t be your wife.”Those words stay with me.Since she passed away, I haven’t been able to draw the same way.It feels like something inside me shut down. The general indifference really demoralized me.It wasn’t just one thing.It was an accumulation of events. When you receive messages like“you’re trash”it doesn’t really help you move forward.Especially when it comes from people you genuinely thought cared about you.But in reality… they didn’t.Even now, I’m still lost.I don’t fully understand what I’m feeling.I don’t know how you’re supposed to handle grief.Sometimes it’s emptiness. Sometimes it’s overwhelming.I’m not going to chase people. I’m not going to get angry and fight.That won’t bring her back.I would rather be around a few sincere peoplethan surrounded by indifference. Even when my art was ignored,I didn’t want to give up. Because I know she would have loved it.Even if she can’t see it now.So I’m going to do my best.
I will keep creating.Even if almost no one is watching.
Even if I’m still lost.
Because at least one person truly believed in me.And that’s enough to keep trying.
I just hope I can do my best. 🌹
One year ago, I lost my partner. She chose to leave, and even though time moves fast, the pain is still very real. I still remember everything. Her message, that sleepless night, the emptiness that followed.
I shared my story publicly and received a lot of hatred in return. Mockery, insults, people making fun of her death. And even today, those comments still come. It affected me deeply. I was scared of being a burden. When something terrible happens, a lot of people leave.
But it also allowed me to connect with people going through the same thing. Parents who had lost a child wrote to me. People who were barely holding on reached out. Their messages helped me as much as I hoped to help them.
I've made a decision: to create without pressure, without stressing over numbers. I never really chased popularity. I just wanted someone by my side. What still makes me want to create is the hope that my work touches someone.
Today I'm doing better. Not perfectly, but better. Things will never go back to the way they were, and I've accepted that. The pain doesn't disappear all at once. It's gradual. But I believe that if you wait long enough, you find a way to carry it without letting it crush you.
What I would tell myself, the person I was when I felt lost: stop fighting things you can't control. Let time do the sorting. Tend to the wounds. Change the bandages. Time is the only remedy.
I will keep creating, keep sharing, keep moving forward. For her. For you. For me.
Thank you to those who stayed and continue to be here through everything. You mean so much. 🤍
