exploding varmint

smitten is such a great word :) omg he's so cute it feels like i'm being killed by god

*Holding out my hand in a peace sign* You can't spell execute without cute! *In my other hand drags a long gnarled blade scraping loudly against the stone*

guy on a work call just accidentally said “have a nice freak-end” instead of weekend and now i desperately want that to be the new meme. have a nice freakend everybody

it's healthy for academics to have professional feuds. enrichment activity

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

my favorite genre of humor is alt text being just completely factual and somehow reading the image for filth

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat