Salutations !

in a swamp

or in a bog

there’s nothing finer

than a frog 🐸

in the mud

or by the road

there’s nothing slicker

than a toad!!

in a shoe

or in a boot

there’s nothing neater

than a newt!

in the moss

or in a pail

there’s nothing dearer

than a snail 🐌

i think the worst feeling ever is when someone means more to you than you mean to them

i’m just a lil ball of stress held together by sweaters

me not shaving my legs has literally nothing to do with feminism and literally everything to do with me being lazy

Since bat wings are just skin stretched between elongated finger bones, bats fly through the power of jazz hands.

i didn’t know i needed this until it arrived

Ain’t no fuckin way

For xmas? @nicknamenyquil

My girlfriend just asked me to learn sign language with her so she can tell me how bad she wants to fuck me in front of my parents

Keep her

forever

The news is basically just someone saying good evening and then giving you a list of reasons it’s not

does anyone else get really anxious during the weekends because you’re aware of how poorly you’re spending your free time and you know that there’s something more productive you could be doing but you just can’t think of anything so you continue to be on the computer