WHOAH, THIS IS HEAVY!

marty wouldn’t wish his dinner table on his worst enemy.      considering the fact that biff tannen is,   for all intents and purposes,   his worst enemy,   this makes sense.     the last thing marty wants is that man hovering by his refrigerator bitching and moaning over their lite beer or off-brand ketchup or whatever.    and then there’s his father,   and then there’s his mother,   and then there’s his siblings     —     all people who he loves as much as you can love someone deeply embarrassing.     no,   really,   he and jennifer are much better off on the curb outside the adult theatre or something adjacent.      whatever XXX raunchfest playing there is probably more palatable than his dad’s laugh or his mom’s liquor.     he loves jennifer too much to make her endure that.    

they stay out as late as they can,   usually cut short by the setting sun or the warning rumble of mr. parker’s engine across the street.     marty kisses her extra even though he’s waiting,   well aware he’s a spectacle in hill valley wherever he goes despite   also   being rather unremarkable.    her sweetness is something he can’t get at home.     he looks into her eyes,   bright and compassionate,   and wishes he had more than photographs to remember her by in the coming evening.     even though linda’s a known phone - hog,   he thinks if he can skate fast enough,   he’ll get home before she’s done putting curlers in her hair.    then he’ll just dial jen’s number and it’ll be as if they never stopped talking.  

he listens to her as intently as he can over the crickets chirping outside.      though they’re parked,   his dad’s borrowed car is still on,   its headlights illuminating her next door neighbor’s house.     chris looks uncharacteristically nervous in the passenger’s seat.    he’s nervous too,   but he figures that’s how you’re supposed to be when you’re alone in a car with a girl.     still,   he and chris have known each other forever    —     which complicates things even further.    this awkwardness shouldn’t exist,   has never existed between them.    marty really doesn’t think he likes her   that   way,   but he would be crazy not to, right?     most guys would kill to be in a position like this.    chris is wicked talented,   wicked funny,   wicked cute     —     and his best friend.     

as it turns out,   though,   marty doesn’t actually know everything about chris.    her confession leaves him with a new understanding and an answer to all the questions they’d been too nervous to ask one another.    the weight lifted from her chest is one he can’t begin to imagine yet,   one that immediately reminds him to sit back up and reassure her.    

no matter how far he runs away,   how fast it is he goes and the means he takes to get there,   marty can’t escape where it is he’s from.      hill valley used to be a nauseatingly nice place to live,   but the place has changed so drastically under the fat fist of biff tannen that he’s not sure the few remaining signs designating their town from others are even accurate anymore.     it’s unrecognizable in the same way his mother is unrecognizable.    sometimes he thinks he could kill biff for all he’s done     —     but the odds weigh heavy against his barely-adult shoulders and he slumps off to his designated bedroom instead.     there is no memorabilia in the space to make it his own.    he refuses to carve a home in any place that doesn’t include his father.    there are no crumpled candy wrappers,   no scattered guitar pics    —     just his body and her,   nestled against it.    

the tightrope he and jennifer have started walking on gets thinner by the night.     god only knows what’ll happen if biff catches wind of what’s been blooming right under his nose,   in his good house with one of his good girls.    marty takes his chances for what he tries to convince himself is only her sake.     if she needs someone to lay with,   to hold,   to bury herself under     —     who is he to turn her away?     it’s difficult to think beyond their reality,   to peel back the layer of grime that coats everything biff touches and accept that he derives pleasure from their little moments as well.    if marty can convince himself this is just a good deed,   it’ll be easier to accept in the long run that she’ll never really be his.    

     ‘‘ i’ve never been a natural.  all i do is try, try, try. ’’

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

bringing back my magnum opus for this