I felt empty. I felt horrible. I felt sick. I felt hurt. A deep hurt. Personal. Agonising. Filled with my childhood traumas and patterned behaviours.
Unlearn. Unlearn.
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@furdieseele
I felt empty. I felt horrible. I felt sick. I felt hurt. A deep hurt. Personal. Agonising. Filled with my childhood traumas and patterned behaviours.
Unlearn. Unlearn.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Hurting tonight
Okay fuck. I’m feeling things and it’s a bit overwhelming.
I’m sad.. I’m actually feeling sad and .. hurt.. and anger and disappointment and my heart feels like its sinking in my chest. And my throat feels like there’s a hook in it.
Why has he been avoiding me
Why has he been avoiding talking to me about what he’s been up to
Why will he only spend time with me in the early hours of his time
He always says he’s too tired
So I don’t bring anything up because I don’t want to start shit when he’s tired
He doesn’t reply to my messages like he used to
He doesn’t seem keen to hang out with me like he used to
Have I done something wrong
Am I the problem
What is going on
I’m not being paranoid
He’s been really reactive with me the past month, is so quick to anger or annoy.
Why is he being like this toward me
And he never addresses any of our fights
He just disappears
He stonewalls me
He gives me the silent treatment with an icy shoulder to top it off
He comes back and pretends nothing happened and it’s all okay and moved on
I don’t want to, but I am building up resent.. anger..
He’s been neglecting me and our relationship
He’s been pulling away
Distancing himself
I thought he was better than this. I thought he would be truthful and honest with me.
I don’t know what’s going on.
I feel so fucking lost.
How am I supposed to feel?? How DO I feel? I am struggling. Struggling.
Dear Darling.
Why do I feel so empty when I do not have you to fill that silence?
You are... A man with an undoubtedly unmovable ego. A complex so complex, that even you cannot fathom it.
You are a jealous man but you refuse to believe it.
You are controlling. You are made up of so much of your past but you refuse to acknowledge the past. History, right? But what made the man today? The old man that told me he loved me. The old man that gets high with me. Who are you?
My enigma. Maybe to never find out what that is.
These are my ramblings because I cannot pretend that I have not been here pining for you, your company, to hear your voice, to see your face...
I have so many words.
Angry.
Upset.
Confused.
Loving.
None of them are the right words. Perhaps I will never find the right words. I always live in fear of miscommunication with you. I never should.
I live in fear that I will lose you forever one day. I hope today is not that day. I’m not ready to lose you.
You are my hope.
SundaZe. https://www.instagram.com/p/COWkYU6gifmDkw0Tt5yngHdJAC0yox6DVsHLrA0/?igshid=ou231umljatz
🐳 https://www.instagram.com/p/CMrBaR6geuPdKIMtlSkNeX888YPCA9WM1A0WuM0/?igshid=b29bmao0hvpz

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
It's my face. https://www.instagram.com/p/CMgLl8gAQDeaQ3iQOSjoiulDlnGRd7wFvb_P_40/?igshid=10jpt62inrkff
What is it like to feel as if the body you're in, is "you"? What is identity to you? Yesterday I finally fed the beast within and got more piercings. Yesterday I finally felt one step closer to "me". Ever since I was diagnosed with BDD, I have been trying to come to terms with it as a mental illness and not just as something that is "normal/okay". BDD causes me to do things like periodically starve myself, pick at every little thing on my face (causing scarring), and sometimes just to look myself in the mirror and hate what I see - to the point where I just say horrible things and see a stranger staring back. Body modifications help me feel like I am regaining control over my physical self. They help me feel like I am in the body I want to be in. It isn't just aesthetics for me, it's outward self-expression of the "me" inside. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, because they don't have to live in your body and feel like "this is not me, I am not happy". #bddawareness #bdd #piercings #philtrumpiercing #nostrilpiercing https://www.instagram.com/p/CLf26UyABTbH60lS2XUfa0-y8zKauwKtN0Vovs0/?igshid=14dtxshd1xnw0
My first vegetarian lasagna 😁 https://www.instagram.com/p/CK-4K0FAh1YxO6GJQ4HDrMtpeuRTHxBpBa3D2g0/?igshid=160w945eps56n
I came here to clear my mind. I wished for the ocean to take the thoughts away, but the waves washed them back to shore. I called to the wind to lift the weight away, but I only grew cold. I looked to the sun for a light to guide the way, but it set. I drove out into the darkness but the moon brought me home. (at Trenerry Reserve) https://www.instagram.com/p/CKJO42-AdU651HBn3nCTTBdz3HG3HioUesuHIY0/?igshid=dgalnr3akmx4

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I love my big Sissa 💜 She supports me in everything I do, and is always there to give me shelter from the storm ⛈️ #sheproteccsheattaccbutmostimportantlyshegotyourbacc https://www.instagram.com/p/CIN21_vgVw4KO8qSI_E4z_yuEMh2N8w-DJ8KNo0/?igshid=ft4i9demausz
Today's look is just such a vibe 🔥 #ootd #sydney https://www.instagram.com/p/CIHYaQBAinBfXH_aGBw1D26jn_kPTNU18VFqcs0/?igshid=msbits4s724q
Crazy to see how much my wee babs have all grown this year. Remember that sometimes you might feel like things are constantly the same and you're not getting anywhere, but as time goes by -you are still growing-. https://www.instagram.com/p/CHl6fflAFrsgi4NHsiwECR7ZpwvWRux4lfPb3o0/?igshid=7f4nsfsyhliy
🍋Sliced 🥧 https://www.instagram.com/p/CHhM2zWAWs6bXoa0BdZkJ_pcTe1JuUh1y3uM4o0/?igshid=1n4jqw2k5y0yt
🍋Lemon meringue pie 🥧 #lemonmeringuepie #lemon #meringue #pie #homemade #fromscratch #baking #withlove #whenlifegivesyoulemons https://www.instagram.com/p/CHesdz7AUBot4Pm37V0Y1DrkmL885zAFx-kh0o0/?igshid=17n6qtplqlaeq

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
💧🌿 https://www.instagram.com/p/CHOuMp9AMogITvJU0A5DzTgVb-Axhsdsue3b5Y0/?igshid=1hgqi8jzapzbe
Had a rough day and feeling pretty exhausted. Gently singing to myself to calm the storm in my head. 💤 #dreamalittledreamofme #themamasandthepapas #dorisday #sing #sleepyhead #goodnightneverland https://www.instagram.com/p/CHKgGvcgLeAYH-76h37FIRAEGhKbf6P4nrdjfY0/?igshid=19o6jrfz241su